In Praise of Seeing Your Beloved as they ought to be seen
This morning I was listening to NPR and the novelist being interviewed said:
“When we love, we see the other person in the way they ought to be seen. If we’re lucky enough to have that experience, it’s another kind of seeing, that has a kind of deep grace in it.”
That hit me where I live. If we are truly loving someone, we see them the way they ought to be seen; we see that highest part of them, the part that is connected and loving and joyful and would never hurt us.
It also made me realize that’s exactly what happens when people come here to do a couples retreat with us. When they first call, they are usually telling us about all the things that are wrong with the relationship and with the other person. They want the other person “fixed”. And then they come here and the magic starts to happen.
Before they come, we’ve spent lots of time speaking with each of them (separately, so that they are really telling us everything). We talk to them about what’s going on, what’s happening, what they want to have happen, literally if you could have the perfect relationship, what would that look like?
Based on those intimate conversations we put together a retreat that is designed for exactly what they need. Because we work with over 40 of the most amazing, incredible and experienced practitioners here in Sedona, we can pick and choose the most impactful and delicious experiences for them. None of the retreats is the same, they are all different and completely unique, but there is a general pattern (usually) of doing some work with the two people together and then having them do sessions separately and then coming back together again.
And this is where the magic happens because we bring them back into connection. Connection and disconnection is at the heart of everything we do here whether it’s with a couples retreat or a retreat for an individual. Most people are walking around in some level of disconnection – be it physical, mental, emotional or spiritual. When we are disconnected on one or more of those levels it’s like trying to drive a car with one of the spark plugs not working –the car will function, but it’s certainly not operating at peak performance.
When we’re walking around disconnected on any of the levels, we can function, but it feels pretty terrible. And when we feel terrible, it’s impossible to have a great relationship with ourselves or with anyone else.
But when we come back into connection on all the levels, our lives are blissful and joyful. We take responsibility for everything we have created and know that we can shift and transform all of our creations. We go into love and compassion with ourselves. We go into love and compassion with the other person. And when we go into love and compassion with the other person, everything transforms.
It’s still so amazing to me, even after all these years, how this happens. People come here disconnected from themselves and each other. We help them clear out the gunk and the blocks that are causing the disconnection and move them back into connection. And in that move back into connection there is “a kind of deep grace” that occurs.
One person in connection is so beautiful – two people in connection is mystical and incredible.
It’s possible to bring that connection back into your relationship and if you are craving that – the deliciousness of being in connection with your beloved –please come to Sedona and find that bliss and joy that is possible.
“Our 12 year marriage was saved by Sedona Soul Adventures”
“My wife of 12 years (Together for 14) and I have two children ages 4 and 8. Up until about 18 months ago we lived a “fairy-tale” marriage. We played together, laughed together, and enjoyed life together. We thought alike, shared the same dreams and values and it seemed nothing could tear us apart. In short, about a year and a half ago that all suddenly changed. My wife became increasingly introverted and obsessed with metaphysics. I, an earthly, and frankly not so spiritual person, became confused, then upset, and at times very angry. I could not understand what was happening to my wife whom I had shared so much in common with. The connection was deteriorating. After months of marriage counseling we were able to manage through this stormy period, and yes we did even have sunny days along the way. But the “D” word was coming up more and more often despite our desperate attempt to put the pieces back together. We never were able to get to the core of what was sending us in different directions. Then around June of this year, a few unfortunate situations had us hanging from the proverbial cliff. At that moment we had an “awakening” of sorts at marriage counseling, and we both decided that our relationship and our family were #1 and we were going to work through our differences. Things lightened up, but I could tell we were not quite there yet. Our 12 year wedding anniversary was approaching. We have always spent some alone time together for our anniversary. I wanted to do something special for her, and our relationship. I also wanted to do something special for me. I wanted to bring back into our relationship all that had been stripped away. Trust, passion, communication and most importantly the connection. I decided I was willing to learn more about my wife’s new interest, combine that with her learning more about me and blend that together to find that special place all over again. I was searching for something with a spiritual base, designed for a couple like us, in a special setting. I sent my wife the link to Sedona Soul Adventures… she could not believe that it came from me. She was so excited, and so was I. I cannot share the details, but what I can share is that our relationship is renewed, passionate, and loving. We are connected more than the day we married back 12 years ago. I learned I do have a spiritual side. I am a spirit having a human experience. My wife is beautiful just the way she is. She now loves her new found ability to communicate. Our communication is better than ever, and our romance is better than ever. Our marriage is safe, and there is no turning back.
Debra, thank you to you and your entire team of loving and talented individuals for all you do. Thank you from me and my wife. Perhaps someday my children will thank you too. A-ho!”
Frank & Valerie Farmington
Wow – that makes me cry every time I read it.
Unleash the Power and Potential of Your Relationship
I’d like to invite you to a complimentary Couples Discovery Session with one of our Angel Guides.
In a private heart-to-heart conversation, they will explore where you are in your relationship… and what you dream of for your future.
Based on this powerful conversation, this wise and compassionate counselor will build the perfect customized retreat of private sessions. Each session builds on the others – and every single one is chosen for its ability to meet the deepest soul needs of you and your partner.
Call us toll free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada) or click here to request your complimentary Couples Discovery Session.
If you are outside the US and Canada call 001 928-204-5988 or click here and we’ll call you.
If you knew what could happen with your relationship, you’d be calling right now!
Wishing you a week filled with love, joy, bliss and connection.
Debra Stangl, Founder