In Praise of Being Full
Fifteen years ago I was a very unhappy and dissatisfied person. I was a divorce attorney in Omaha, Nebraska and I was 40 pounds overweight. I had 2 prevailing thoughts: I hated my work and I hated my body. I felt stuck. I was 47 years old. My mother had become ill with cancer at the age of 47 and eventually died at the age of 51. My mother had also been unhappy and dissatisfied and felt stuck. She finally came un-stuck by leaving the planet.
I remember thinking all the time “if I died tomorrow, I would be really pissed off”. I remember thinking that if died tomorrow, I would have never experienced a true feeling of happiness or joy or full, deep satisfaction. It was also interesting how that showed up with my body. Because I was constantly dieting, I felt hungry all the time. But even when I would eat, I would most often eat past the point of feeling full. I don’t think I had experienced the feeling of feeling full or completely satisfied. At least, not enough to really know what it felt like.
And then it all changed. I came to Sedona for the first time in 1999, had a life changing experience, left my law practice and started coming out here to do my own personal healing work. I did that for 3 years. About 2 years into that, I had the most incredible experience of sitting in my kitchen in Omaha, looking at the huge trees swaying in the wind and this intense feeling came over me and I suddenly had the thought of “if I died tomorrow, it would be okay”. Through all the healing work that I had done, I had suddenly and without any warning, come into a place of deep contentment. There wasn’t anything that had happened — I hadn’t seen God, I hadn’t just won the lottery and I had no idea what I was going to be doing with my life or my work, nothing at all had happened. This feeling of peace and serenity and true joy just sort of took me over.
This morning I had another one of those moments. I’m leaving to go to LA to visit my sister and see her latest play (she’s a director) and I’m going on a plane and I had a crazy thought about the plane crashing. And I was suddenly overcome with this rush of joy and love and this thought of “that would be perfectly fine. I’m so happy, I’m so full, that if I went tomorrow it would be okay.” I was so overwhelmed by it, that I started crying these tears of joy, which have continued for hours while I’m writing this.
The same thing happened with my body. After so many years of crazy dieting, manic exercising, buying exercise equipment and pills, working with trainers, etc., etc., etc., I had an experience that came out of the blue where I suddenly started loving my body. This had come as the result of doing lots of work and sessions, etc., but when it came, it came very suddenly and without warning. I was shown that my body was perfect exactly the way it was. That I could be happy without being thin. This sense of joy and peace and serenity just overwhelmed me and I stopped all the crazy dieting and exercise. I just stopped.
And then here’s the kicker. The minute I did that, with no effort, the weight just started melting off. I lost 40 pounds and went from a size 14 to a size 6. That was over 5 years ago and I now eat and drink whatever I want, whenever I want and I’m still a size 6 and my latest medical checkup was the best it’s ever been.
When I eat now, I instantly know when I’m full. I’m full and complete and I just stop eating. Sometimes the plate has been licked clean and sometimes there’s still food left. I don’t over-eat something because it tastes good, I eat to that delicious point where I feel full and complete and satisfied.
Similarly, when I stopped pushing against my law practice and healed those unhealed parts of myself, all of these incredible and amazing circumstances came together and I started Sedona Soul Adventures, which has become the most satisfying and fulfilling and delicious experience of my life.
It is so incredibly amazing what happens when we finally allow in this feeling of fullness, of deep satisfaction, to finally come into our lives. Because it’s a choice. The Universe is sending us everything and we are either allowing it in or not. Before I wasn’t allowing in these feelings of being full. I thought I had to be thin to be happy. I thought I had to have the perfect job show up before I could be fulfilled.
When I stopped railing against everything and took responsibility for my own healing, everything fell into place. Everything came into joy. And that’s what made me cry those tears of joy this morning.
My prayer for you is that you could experience that kind of joy in your life. And you can. It’s just gunk and blocks that are holding you back and we can find those, eliminate them and bring you back into connection with that highest part of yourself. When you come back into connection, you experience that sense of fullness, of deep satisfaction and serenity, that we’re all craving and that we can all have.
Want to come back into connection?
Call us toll free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada) or click here to request a complimentary Angel Guide Session.
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Wishing you a week filled with love, joy, bliss and connection.
Debra Stangl, Founder