Carly Simon and Unworthiness
I think almost everyone has at least some level of unworthiness in them. At least, in all the years I’ve spent working with people, it seems to be true. It’s been amazing to me to find people in all walks of life, incredibly successful and accomplished, but who suffer from a sense of unworthiness.
But I have to say it was really stunning for me to read Carly Simon’s new memoir Boys in the Trees and to discover how insecure and unworthy she felt. I have always loved Carly Simon. I had all her albums and belted them out when I was alone. I thought she had it all — she was an incredible songwriter, she had a fabulous voice, she was gorgeous in an offbeat way, she had an amazing and long career and she married my other favorite singer, James Taylor, and they had 2 beautiful children. No matter how you look at it, she had it all, right?
But it wasn’t enough. When she married James Taylor in 1982, her 2nd album had just come out and it was climbing the charts and getting rave reviews. In her diary at the time she wrote “I don’t feel any more worthy inside than I did previously”.
In the book she writes:
“Where, oh where did that feeling of unworthiness come from? I knew only that it was something that was with me all the time. Why did I expect marriage to change how I felt? Were my expectations too dramatic?… These thoughts mixed in with another voice… “But you’re not quite good enough.”
If Carly Simon, at the height of her fame and at the apex of her relationship thought she wasn’t good enough, what hope is there for the rest of us?
But that’s the real point — your worthiness (or lack of it) doesn’t have anything to do with what you’re doing or not doing. It has to do with how you feel at your core.
Do you feel like you’re a good person?
Do you feel lovable?
Do you feel like you’re living your life the way it was meant to be lived?
I always loved the old Stuart Smalley skits on Saturday Night Live. Stuart was a 12 step and self development junkie who had a mock self help show called “Daily Affirmations with Stuart Smalley”. He always ended his show by looking in the mirror and saying “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!”. It was always funny and sad to watch poor Stuart saying that to himself (because you could tell he didn’t really believe it). So, how about you?
Are you good enough?
Are you smart enough?
And doggone it, do people actually like you?
Unworthiness is an issue we deal with in so many of the retreats we do here at Sedona Soul Adventures. Not only in the individual retreats, but also in our couples retreats, because a deep feeling of unworthiness affects all parts of your life, not only your success, but also your relationships. One of my favorites of these sessions is called Core Belief Transformation. The first part of the session uses a number of processes to discover the deepest core belief that is not serving you and is holding you back. Then other processes are used to release that belief. Then other processes are used to substitute the old belief with a new belief that is rock solid and empowering. It’s not just a positive thinking exercise. The different processes that are used deal with all the levels — physical, mental, emotional and spiritual — so that the empowering beliefs are really set in at your core.
The first time I did this session, I assumed I knew what the disempowering belief was. I was completely wrong! Discovering what it was, moving it out and then moving the new one in was one of the most powerful sessions I’ve ever done (and as you can imagine, I’ve done a lot of sessions!) But most importantly, it had a life changing impact on how I felt about myself and my life.
One of the things I know for sure about you is that you are a beloved child of God. Every single religion in the world teaches us this. So if God loves us, don’t you think it’s time for you to start loving you?
I know it’s easy for me to tell you “start loving yourself”. I know it’s easier said than done. When I first started coming to Sedona in 1999, unworthiness was an issue I had to deal with in a big way and truth be told, it’s still something that will show itself. But the good news is, help is available. This is one of the biggest issues we deal with here and the results are extraordinary. Read what happened with Susan, who not only did not love herself, but was in a deep depression:
Susan says after her Soul Adventure “I’m not afraid, I’m high on life and I love myself like I never have before”
“Tears fill my eyes as I write this. I was in a major depression for the past 2 years. I have slept through the daytime during this time because I didn’t have the strength or desire to face life. It was so very dark. I was only up during the night and I was so alone and felt completely lost. My best friend of thirty years has been involved with Sedona Soul Adventures for a couple of years and she knew this would be the right place for me. I loved every minute of my experience. I am now alive and awake for the first time in 20 years. It is a new birth for me, an exciting new beginning. I can’t wait to get up every day. I am so high on life it’s so exciting. I am not afraid anymore. I love myself like I never have before.I am forever grateful to all of my teachers and healers. I can’t wait for my next trip. I love you Sedona Soul Adventures! My Prayers of love will be sent out into the Universe for you to be helping others like myself.”
Susan P., Stone Mountain, Georgia
Click here and one of our Angel Guides will call you. Or if you’d prefer, call us toll free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada). For our friends outside the US and Canada call 01 928-204-5988 or click here and one of our Angel Guides will call you. They will talk to you (or both of you if it’s a couple), they’ll figure out the blocks that are holding you back and they’ll design a retreat that will bring you into the love and joy that is your birthright.
As I always say, if you knew what could happen, you’d be contacting us right now!
Wishing you a week filled with the knowing that you’re good enough, your smart enough and doggone it, people like you!,
Debra Stangl / Founder
Sedona Soul Adventures – Transforming Lives One Soul At A Time
Taking the portal to other dimensions on our Peru trip (June 17-30, 2016)
I don’t know why, but I love this picture. The one on the left is me doing ceremony at the Doorway of Aramu Muru on one of our past trips to Peru. This is another of the wonderful ceremonies we do on our trip each year. Jorge Luis Delgado (our shaman and guide) is very well known for discovering the Doorway of Aramu Muru (the photo on the right is Jorge doing ceremony at the Doorway). And each year we do an amazing ceremony here. The doorway is considered a portal to other dimensions, but I’m happy to say we’ve never lost anyone yet! I’ve had some amazing experiences at this place.
“The Peru trip was life changing”
Alan & Susan Gold
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If you have questions, please send me an email at:
or give me call – 928/301-2896 – I love talking about Peru.