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Monthly Archives: July 2019

Make your relationship a priority or suffer the consequences

You know how it goes. When you’re first together, you want to be with that other person all the time, you can’t get enough of them. And then you get married, your work is so important, you have kids, etc, etc, etc. 

And then suddenly you look up one day and the thrill is gone…

In my new video, I have some surprising things that you can do about it.

Is it time to make your relationship a priority? If so, maybe think about doing a Couples Retreat with us. One of the huge benefits of our Couples Retreats is that they are completely private. All of your sessions are either one-on-one or two-on-one with our Master Practitioners, many of whom have over 20 years of experience working with couples. They know how to bring your relationship to the next level.

Or if you’d prefer, call us toll-free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada). For our friends outside the US and Canada, call 01 928-204-5988 or click here and one of our Retreat Guides will call you.

Our Soul Adventure “enhanced our relationship to another level…we feel more connected”

That’s exactly what happens when you do a couples retreat with us – it enhances your relationship to a new level, bringing you a deeper connection and closeness.

There’s no better way to make your relationship a priority!

Wishing you a week filled with proper prioritization!
 

Those of you who have been following me for a long time know that I was a divorce attorney for 20 years in Omaha, Nebraska before I had a life-changing experience in Sedona that led me to start Sedona Soul Adventures. And since then, for the past 20 years, we’ve worked with thousands of couples, helping them to save their marriages and deepen their relationships. 

One of the biggest things that I’ve seen in working with couples now for over 40 years, is a problem that is so easy to solve, it’s almost magical. And that’s making your relationship a priority.

So what happens? When you’re first together, you’re in love, you want to spend every moment with that other person, then you get married or live together, you have kids, your work is so important, you’re so busy, you’ve got so much going on, just getting through each day can be really hard. 

You stop talking that much, you stop hanging out with each other because you’ve just got so much else to do, then you start noticing those little things that before you thought were cute and now just annoy the heck out of you. And that’s when you know you’re on the road to trouble. It’s one of the top complaints we hear in our couples retreats. 

If your relationship is important to you and you feel it starting to slip away from you, if you don’t feel the same kind of zing that you used to, then you need to do something and you need to do it soon. 

So here’s the first thing I want to say: If you’re a woman out there reading this, please don’t go to your husband and say, “We need to talk.”

The four most dreaded words for most men don’t want to hear is, “We need to talk.”   

Go to him in a quiet moment, a moment where you’re both in a good space and say to him, “I’ve been thinking about this lately… What is one thing I could do to let you know that you’re a priority in my life?” 

And then shut up and listen to what he has to say. Don’t edit or criticize. It might take him a few tries and don’t get angry if he jokingly says something crazy like having sex with his favorite Hollywood star… get him to tell you something and don’t be upset if it’s something that won’t involve you or the kids. In fact, encourage him to have it be something that doesn’t involve you or the kids, something that’s just for him. And if it’s reasonable and possible, do it. Do it with happiness, love and enthusiasm. 

And if you’re a man reading this, do the same thing with your wife. Ask her, “What is one thing I could do to let you know that you’re a priority in my life?” 

And then shut up and really listen. If it’s something you can do and hopefully it won’t be some huge shift that she’s asking you to do for the rest of your life, such as stop watching sports, then do it. And again, do it with happiness, love and enthusiasm.  

After you’ve successfully completed this, say to your partner, “I want us to spend more time together, just us, having fun.” If you know of something fun that you used to do together, suggest that. Don’t demand. Just suggest. 

Women, I will tell you this will be music to your man’s ears. So many men tell us that they feel they are such a distant second after the kids.  

You can tell what’s important to you by how much time you spend on it. Spending fun time together is magical at bringing the sizzle back into your marriage. 

And speaking of sizzle, don’t blush or be offended when I say another big booster of relationship happiness is to have more sex. And if that does offend you, then we need to talk. 

Study after study shows that happy couples have regular sex that is truly enjoyable for both of them.

This is another one of the most common complaints we hear in our couples retreats and it’s not just men complaining about women, it’s women complaining about their husbands, and we hear the same complaint from our same sex couples. If you’re not having sex like you used to, just start initiating. Tonight! Or this afternoon – that’ll wake ‘em up! 

Doing little, thoughtful things for the other person can make such a difference. I absolutely love getting flowers and little gestures send me over the moon. I was recently gone for a week and Richard sent this to me. It came in this huge envelope and when it was delivered, I was like what the heck is this and then I opened it up and it’s a Big Hug. Is that the cutest thing? It just made my heart melt.

What is something you can do for your beloved? If one of you is the one who always does the same thing, like cooking or taking out the trash, surprise the other one by doing it for them occasionally. Is there something they’d love to do, but they’re not giving themselves permission because it’s expensive or time consuming? Invite them to do it and tell them, “Baby, you’re worth it.”  

A few months ago, we had a couple come to us and they were at the end of their rope. They were fighting all the time and they were ready to split up, especially the wife. They both worked really hard, they had two young children and the husband’s mother was very involved in their lives. They had all kinds of issues of “he does this” and “she does that,” which were very important to them, of course. But when we really sat and listened to them, all of those things were kind of inconsequential. And of course their sex…

When we dug deep with them, we got down to “What’s really going on?” We got down to the truth, which was neither of them felt like they were a priority in the other’s life. They both felt that the other’s jobs were more important; he felt like the kids meant more to her than he does and she felt like his mother meant more to him than she does, especially because there were many times he was taking the mother’s side. And underneath that was, “He doesn’t really love me” and “She doesn’t really love me.” 

And here’s the real kicker, because what we finally got to was that for both of them underneath that was, “I’m not loveable. My own wife/husband doesn’t love me, that must mean I’m not loveable.” They weren’t thinking this consciously of course, but when we dug deep, they both got it – that that was the culprit. 

They both grew up in homes where they were starved for love, both the husband and the wife. He kept trying to show up for his mother and doing things for his mother, because he wanted so desperately to have his mother’s love, not because she meant more to him than his wife.  

We had them do sessions individually to get at those core wounds, to dig them up and fill them back up with love. What was really amazing was that even though they both did separate breathwork sessions, each one of them had an experience of a vision of the two of them coming together in this incredible bliss, joy and love. 

In their final integration session, they said they have never been more in love and they totally know that the other person is the most important person in their life. They also told us they had more sex in the 5 days they were with us than they had in the 5 months before that. When you can get to the root of what’s really going on, like these two did, everything else just falls away and you can come back into the love that brought you together in the first place.

How about you? Would you like to come back into that love? If so, give us a call and do a couples retreat with us. Each retreat is completely private, not in groups and custom designed for exactly what the two of you need and want.

I hope this helped, and if you got value from this video, please take the time to like it, share it with someone in your life who think might get something out of it, subscribe to our channel.

To get more information, go to SedonaRetreatGuide.com and get your complimentary copy of The Sedona Guide to Couples Retreats today.

Or if you’d like to talk to someone about doing a retreat that’s custom designed for you call us at (928) 204-5988.

You can have the life  AND the relationship you want – I know it.

Are you burned out? It’s more serious than you think

We all talk about being burned out, like it’s a normal thing that happens all the time. But did you know that the World Health Organization has now recognized burnout as a legitimate condition that needs to be managed and treated?

It’s gotten so serious all around the world, that people are really starting to understand that this kind of stress is literally killing you. Watch my video:

She found her happiness

I love reading our reviews. Sometimes (confession time) I go into Trustpilot to see what new reviews have come in because it makes me feel so good to see what’s happening. Also, because I meet all these people when they first come in and I can see how much help they need, and then to have them have such huge turn-arounds each and every time is just so wonderful. It just warms my heart.

And I have to admit that sometimes when I meet people, at the beginning they are in such a state that I have the thought of, “Oh gosh, they might be the first person in a very long time to not have a life changing experience.” And as I leave, I say a silent prayer of, “Oh, God, please let it happen for them.” And you know what? It always does, it’s just absolutely amazing.

So would you like to find your happiness? Worse, are you feeling burned out? If so, you’ve got to do something about it — as the WHO has recognized, this can kill you!

Call us and speak with someone today. We’ll dig deep, finding out what’s at the root of your burnout – you probably think you know what it is, but after all these years of doing this work, I’ll tell you, it’s probably even deeper than you think. We’re masters at figuring that out, clearing it out and bringing you back in connection, joy and happiness!

Or if you’d prefer, call us toll-free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada). For our friends outside the US and Canada, call 01 928-204-5988 or click here and one of our Retreat Guides will call you.

Wishing you a week filled with peace, quiet and happy!
 

In these series of videos, I’m talking about concepts from my book, The Journey to Happy– How Embracing the Concept that Nothing is wrong can transform your life, and also the things we teach to help people have incredible transformations in their retreats with Sedona Soul Adventures.

Today I’m talking about Burnout…

Did you know that the World Health Organization has now recognized burnout as a legitimate condition that needs to be managed and treated?

That’s really important because that makes it a legitimate concern and something that people can get treated for.

So what exactly is burnout?

I love this definition from Help Guide, which is associated with Harvard University:

“Burnout is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress. It occurs when you feel overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and unable to meet constant demands. As the stress continues, you begin to lose the interest and motivation that led you to take on a certain role in the first place.

Burnout reduces productivity and saps your energy, leaving you feeling increasingly helpless, hopeless, cynical, and resentful. Eventually, you may feel like you have nothing more to give.

The negative effects of burnout spill over into every area of life—including your home, work, and social life. Burnout can also cause long-term changes to your body that make you vulnerable to illnesses like colds and flu. Because of its many consequences, it’s important to deal with burnout right away.”

And it’s important to note that burnout is different than stress. 

Stress spikes, burnout is just getting to the point where you feel like you just can’t take it anymore. There are many scientists and doctors that have done studies showing that the ongoing, continual stress that many people feel can lead to Burnout.

Now the condition that the WHO issued their findings about was specifically Burnout in the Workplace. But if you’ve ever experienced it, you know that it very much affects every area of your life and that’s exactly what they say in the definition above.

The first time I came to Sedona over 20 years ago, I was completely burned out.

I had just started my 20th year of law practice and the thought of spending another 20 years literally felt like a prison sentence. And the worst part is that it was affecting absolutely every area in my life…

  • I weighed over 40 pounds more than I weigh now.
  • It was affecting my marriage and ultimately led to divorce. 
  • My ex husband and I had made some bad business decisions during that time which led us into debt of over $50,000, which just added to the pressure.

And that’s the insidious thing about burnout – it creeps into every area of your life.

There were days I didn’t even want to get out of bed. It felt like nothing I did was making any difference.

The thing that changed everything for me was coming to Sedona. 

I came here for three days and was lucky enough to connect with an amazing practitioner who now works with me in Sedona Soul Adventures. The three days that I was here changed my life. 

I’m going to talk in other videos about other types of burnout and how to spot it, and also some things you can do to deal with it.

But I’ll tell you, if you want to really deal with your burnout, or if you’re married to or friends with someone who is suffering from burnout, the fastest and most effective thing I know to do is to come here to Sedona and do a retreat.

Now the difficult part is that if you’re suffering from burnout, very often you just don’t have the energy or the desire to do anything; it’s just easier to lie in bed. Or if you’re married to someone or friends with someone who’s suffering from burnout, they’re probably not going to be interested in doing anything.

If that’s how you’re feeling, if you’re just thinking, “What’s the use?” that’s exactly the indicator that tells you you’ve absolutely got to do something! You know this is affecting all the areas of your life. You know it’s affecting your family, you know it’s affecting your kids, and I’d be willing to bet money that it’s affecting your health. Because this is the stress that kills.

Let us help you. Let us get to the root of what’s ailing you. It’s in there somewhere and we’re masters at figuring that out, clearing it out, and bringing you back into connection.

I hope this helped, and if you got value from this video, please take the time to like it, share it with someone in your life who think might get something out of it, subscribe to our channel.

And If you want an even more direct path to dealing with your burnout, click here to get your complimentary copy of The Sedona Guide to Spiritual Retreats today.

Or if you’d like to talk to someone about doing a retreat that’s custom designed for you call us at (928) 204-5988.

You can have the life  AND the relationship you want – I know it.

Happy July 4, Happy Anniversary and I can’t believe she said that!

This past week was a big one. Not only was it Independence Day, but it was the 17th Anniversary of Sedona Soul Adventures going live on the internet – July 4, 2002! We specifically wanted it to be on Independence Day!

I hope you had a wonderful holiday and got some rest and relaxation, and that you were able to reflect on the amazing liberties and freedoms we have – we are truly blessed.

Last week I spent time reflecting on all that has happened over the past 17 years and while I was doing that, I had the most amazing thing happen. I was at a gathering for women in California, and I was in a small group when someone asked me about my work. I told them about Sedona Soul Adventures and one of the women said, “Yes, I did a Soul Adventure 10 years ago.” To which I replied, “What?!!?”

She said, “Yes, I did a Soul Adventure 10 years ago and of all the things I’ve done in all the 10 years since, all the workshops and all that, it is hands down the best thing I’ve ever done for myself.”

Well, of course, that was just the most amazing thing. So we spent time talking and she told me all about her life. It turns out that after her Soul Adventure, she has made the most amazing life for herself. She’s become a very sought-after publicist in Hollywood and I was so impressed by her roster of clients. She started a new business a few years ago and even she is amazed at how well it is going. She’s in a wonderful relationship and she told me that none of this would have happened without her Soul Adventure.

We had already been there for three days and when I asked her why she hadn’t said anything to me, she said she didn’t want to intrude on my privacy (she’s very conscious of that with her own clients). She said, “It’s so funny, I’ve kept up reading your newsletters all these years, I know everything about you — I know about Richard, I know about your dog, I know everything. It’s actually a little stalky!” 

It was so cute because then she told me, “I’ve always wanted to go to Egypt with you, but I couldn’t, because it’s always at the time of the Oscars and my clients are always at the Oscars! But they moved it up one week this next year, so now I really want to make it happen!”

Oh my Goddess, can you imagine this? I didn’t get to meet her when she came the first time, because I was in Peru with my group. To run into someone ten years later and have them tell me that this changed their life and that the transformations have just kept on coming all these years — well, all I can say is, Happy Anniversary! What a fitting thing to happen right at this time.

If you would like that kind of transformation, the real, long-lasting kind. Please give us a call. This is not unusual, this is what happens all the time, all day, every day.

Or if you’d prefer, call us toll-free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada). For our friends outside the US and Canada, call 01 928-204-5988 or click here and one of our Retreat Guides will call you.
They’ll connect with you (or both of you if it’s a couples retreat) in deep conversation. Then they’ll custom design the perfect retreat for you, working with our Master Practitioners here in beautiful, mystical Sedona to.

Wishing you a week filled with life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness!

I was lucky enough back then to connect with Jorge Luis Delgado, our shaman and guide. Jorge is a master and as everyone in all my groups always say, they can’t imagine doing Peru without Jorge, that it quite simply wouldn’t be the same. That’s a photo of my fabulous 2008 group.

On my first trip in 2008, I met his wife and son, who at the time was 14, a gangly teenager, and he spoke great English. He and I started talking and sat next to each other on our bus ride from Lake Titicaca to Juliaca.

We started talking about American politics, as the 2008 election was in full swing, and Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton were slugging it out in the primaries. He asked me if I thought it was possible that Obama might be nominated and possibly win, and we had a very spirited and enjoyable conversation.

Jorge told me later, “It’s so strange, I’m not sure how this happened, he’s so interested in American politics and all kinds of things from other countries.”

Over the years, I’ve always asked Jorge how his son was doing and the news just kept getting more and more interesting. He did very well in school, went to University, then ended up living and working in Japan, spent some time in China, and learned to speak Japanese and Chinese fluently. Now this year, he decided to return to Peru and he’s working with Jorge!

He was working with a Chinese group and he came to the airport in Cusco when we were about to depart for Lake Titicaca, and we got to spend some time talking. What a joy to see and feel what an incredible young man he has become.

I asked him why he had returned to Peru and he told me, “I want to really learn all the spiritual teachings.” Isn’t that fantastic? This gangly little kid I met 11 years ago, has become a worldly, accomplished man interested in all aspects of the world, including spirituality. He said he plans to stay here for about two years and then he’ll be off to some other place in the world.

It’s reminiscent of my godson, Anthony, who I also got to see on this trip and what a joy that was. Back in 2008 when we went to Amantani for the first time (a very rustic, beautiful island in Lake Titicaca where at the time they had no electricity and no running water), we did a very special ceremony and we spent the night in the home of his family.

Anthony was 6 months old at the time, a tiny, adorable baby.

I spent a large amount of that evening holding him and at times I was crying gently and processing. His parents, Juana and Joaquin, don’t speak English, but in some way we really connected.

It turns out that two days later they were doing a ceremony with Anthony that is somewhat similar to what we know as baptism.

They asked Jorge to ask me if I would like to be a godmother for Anthony because they felt I had such a strong connection to him. They said they didn’t want any obligation from me, just the spiritual connection. I was honored and the ceremony was very beautiful.

After that, I would see Anthony every year and I’ve also happily contributed to the family and Anthony’s education. This photo is from 2014, when I brought him some blowing bubbles. At that time, Anthony was six and he told me he wanted to become a doctor. He also said he was learning traditional Peruvian dance and he enjoyed that very much.

Starting in 2015, Anthony started going to boarding school on the mainland so that he could receive a really good education, so he was never at home when we would spend the night at Juana and Joaquin’s home on Amantani. But this year, what a surprise. They brought him, along with his sister, to Chiquito where we had a reunion.

He showed me his school Certificate of Excellence and his parents told me what a good student he is. One of the members of our group interpreted (thank you, Rhonda!), and he told me again that he wants to be a doctor and how much he still enjoys dancing. But now he also really enjoys football (soccer).

To think that this boy from a small island, where they have almost no electricity or running water and when you take a walk you continually run into people who are herding sheep and donkeys, is going to become a doctor…this reminded me of Jorge’s son. Anthony’s energy is so sweet and pure, yet he is also a determined little boy and I can’t wait to see how this unfolds.

Another really fun thing we do every year is to go to Seminario Ceramics in Ollantaytambo. Pablo Seminario is one of the premier ceramic artists in the world, his works are displayed in various museums around the world, including the Field Museum in Chicago.

When I brought my first group in 2008, when we were returning from Machu Picchu by train after a very long day, Jorge asked me, “Would you like to go to the ceramics place?” Not having any idea of what an incredible place this was, I said no because everyone was tired.

One of the members of the group, Jennifer Watt, overheard us and said, “What are we talking about?” and I said, “That we’re not going to the ceramics place.” She said to me in her usual very direct way, “Who made that decision?” and I responded that I did. I then said if she wanted to go, we’d go and I am so glad I did. His work is so incredible and over the years, I’ve brought many of his pieces to my home and each year he speaks to our group and we have a wonderful interaction with him and his wife Marilu.

After that trip, Jen and I became great friends and in 2010, I asked her to lead my Peru trip two years in a row (I had Egypt in March, Peru in April and Bali in June, and it was becoming too much to handle), she loved Peru and she had experience leading groups. She did a fantastic job and from that, got a job leading trips to Peru, especially for high school and college students and teachers.

She has now been to Peru 54 times! And one of the things she has incorporated into the tours is an intensive piece of learning about traditional ceramics through Seminario! She, Pablo and Marilu have become great friends.

So when we were there last week, we took a photo of all of us to text to Jen saying, “Wish you were here.” Jen had just been in Sedona the week before visiting us at our home and we showed Pablo this photo of Jen and our friend Ranjita (who had been on the Peru trip with me in 2008 and again last year).

I told Pablo this is the view from our home, and he and Marilu should come and visit us in Sedona. He said, “If Jen will bring me, I will come to Sedona!”

So it’s so incredible to me, all these connections that started with this first trip and have woven their way through my life, and all these other lives, through the years. Not to mention the other close friends I have made through these trips, people who came on the trips, people I love who are a huge part of my life.

Because at the end of the day, all of this is not so much about the sites (although they are absolutely incredible), it’s about the amazing people we share them with and keep connecting with.

This year again, our group has bonded in such a beautiful, special way. One of the women said to me yesterday, “I can’t believe how I love everyone in this group and feel so close to them. Doing this with other like-minded people has just been so wonderful.

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