3 reasons to NOT do resolutions and what to do instead
Here’s the vital question: how can you be happier at the end of 2016?
I stopped doing New Year’s resolutions 16 years ago. The day I decided to do that [or not do that], I felt such a huge relief. And believe it or not, that was one of the most amazing and productive years of my life.
Instead, I do something else (more on that below).
But first, as promised, here are the 3 reasons why I’m advocating you should NOT do New Year’s Resolutions:
1. They don’t work – people don’t keep them
Studies show that only 8% of Americans have stuck to their New Year’s Resolutions by 6 months out. I think it’s actually worse than that. My favorite “New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Work” story is from one of my friends who owned a restaurant in Omaha, where I used to live. They had great food and a fabulous salad bar and over the years they discovered that on January 2, people ate twice as much salad, because they were acting on their resolution to eat healthier and lose weight. However, by January 3 it was already back to normal, with people ordering the same amount of cheeseburgers, fries, etc. as they had before. Their resolve was only good for one day!
2. They’re so negative – they make you feel bad about yourself
Even though the resolution can be couched in positive terms, such as “I resolve to eat healthier”, “I resolve to be more organized”, what people are actually doing in these situations is going over the behavior they are telling themselves they shouldn’t be doing. “I should stop eating like a pig”, “I should stop being a couch potato”. Even thinking those things about yourself is negative and counterproductive and doesn’t lead to change.
3. They’re too general and not specific enough – they’re not juicy
Most people are making vague and general resolutions like “I’m going to lose weight”, “I’m going to get more healthy”, “I’m going to be less stressed”. All of these are too general, not specific and not measurable. Getting more specific — “I’m going to lose 25 pounds” or “I’m going to do yoga twice per week” tells the brain exactly what you want to have happen and it’s measurable.
But let’s face it. The worst part of most resolutions is they just sound so boring. “I’m going to lose weight”, “I’m not going to spend so much money”, those just make me want to slit my wrists. Boring, not fun, not juicy. That’s why they don’t work. There’s not enough juice to get you going, to get you excited, to get you to take action.
So here’s what I recommend – Set the intention to do something – ONE THING – that’s going to trip your trigger, rev you up and get you excited
Really spend some time thinking about what is one thing you could do this year that would really make a difference in your life?
That would really make you happy?
That if you did it, you would look back at the end of the year and think, “wow – now that was a productive, amazing year”.
It doesn’t have to be a huge thing like achieving world peace, but it needs to be something that interests you, that excites you, that would make you think and feel differently about yourself.
The amazing thing is, that if you do something like this, it will make the usual resolutions start to fall into place. For example, let’s take something big — if you decide you want to run a marathon this year, you will accomplish the following resolutions (which happen to be the top resolutions people make):
- you’ll get healthier
- you’ll stop smoking
- you’ll drink less
- you’ll probably lose weight
- you won’t feel like a couch potato
- you’ll feel less stress
- you’ll probably play fewer video games and watch less TV
- you’ll probably spend less money on things you don’t need
- you’ll probably make new friends
And you would do it (at least most of it) feeling happy, excited and jazzed, which, of course, is the real reason behind resolutions in the first place — to feel happier at the end of 2016 than you did at the beginning.
What trips your trigger? What gets you revved up? What gets your juices flowing?
Maybe a better question is, what’s holding you back? What’s preventing you from having the most amazing, incredible, fantastic year of your life?
For most people the answers are: time, money, my job, my family, my husband, my wife, my kids.
But what if you didn’t allow for those things to hold you back this year?
The year I stopped making resolutions was the year I started coming out to Sedona and doing sessions with the amazing practitioners here. I started the year unhappy, depressed, overweight, hating my work, stressed out, burned out and feeling completely stuck. I ended the year so happy I almost couldn’t see straight!
I started that year thinking and feeling that my life was a total mess. I ended the year feeling so blessed and taken care of. It’s amazing what can happen in the space of a few months.
Did this year make you happier? If it didn’t, are you going to do something about it for next year? This is the decision that is at the heart of all New Year’s resolutions — what can you do to feel happier at the end of this year?
If you want to feel happier at the end of 2016, do what I did and come out to Sedona and do a retreat with us. The changes and transformations that can happen are almost unbelievable.
And the amazing thing is, you won’t have to wait all year to feel better. It can happen in 3 or 4 days! And you’ll feel better, the whole rest of the year!
Speak to one of our Angel Guides – they’ll connect with you and design a retreat that is customized for exactly what you need to make this the most amazing year of your life.
Click here and one of our Angel Guides will call you. Or if you’d prefer, call us toll free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada). For our friends outside the US and Canada call 01 928-204-5988 or click here and one of our Angel Guides will call you.
Wishing you the most spectacular year ever,
Debra
Debra Stangl / Founder
Sedona Soul Adventures – Transforming Lives One Soul At A Time
(877) 204-3664
https://sedonasouladventures.com
Janet says “I saw the emails for years and never made the commitment.”. When she finally did her Soul Adventure, “it was the best thing I’ve ever done for myself”, ” better than I could have ever imagined it to be.”
“Sedona Soul Adventures was the best thing I have ever done for myself. I had seen the emails for years and longed to go but never made the commitment. When stress was overtaking my life and getting so out of control it was the only place I felt I could turn to. It was an act of survival to get myself balanced again. Being a mother of two young children and working full-time I needed to take some rest and reenergize. It was better than I could have ever imagined it to be. The techniques I learned and the “AHA” moments gave me new life again. Trust me, everyone benefits with a better you. Thank you Sedona Soul Adventures.”
Janet B., Homer Glen, Illinois
Is travel on your list of New Years Resolutions? Is Machu Picchu on your bucket list? Join us June 17-30
Is seeing Machu Picchu on your bucket list? If so, make the decision that this will be the year you do it. Our Mystical Peru journey is so amazing. Spending 3 days at Machu Picchu, experiencing Lake Titicaca, the Uros Islands, Cuzco, the Sacred Valley, Ollantaytambo, Sacsayhuaman and so much more. And experiencing all of this with our amazing shaman, Jorge Luis Delgado, adds a level that you won’t find on any other tour. Jorge is truly one of the masters of our time and hearing his wisdom and doing ceremonies with him in these amazing places is transformational. Plus traveling with other like-minded adventurers – it’s truly the trip of a lifetime.
“If you’re looking for deep and meaningful travel that connects you to other amazing people, takes you way behind the scenes and most important, creates the space for a deep dive into yourself, Debra and Jorge and Sedona Soul Adventures has it down. Had I attempted to navigate my recent [2015] trip to Peru on my own, I’m confident I would have only experienced about 30% of the true magic Peru has to offer. Because the trip was so well organized and our guides were so knowledgeable, we experienced things every day that other travelers, lost on their own or stuffed in a tour bus, never got to see or feel. It was the trip of a lifetime and I am grateful and truly transformed.”
Lisa Sasevich
CEO, The Invisible Close
For our amazing Day to Day Itinerary – Click here
For all the information on pricing – Click here
To download a brochure – Click here
If you have questions, send me an email at [email protected]
Or better yet, give me a call – 928/301-2896 – I love talking about Peru!
The best Christmas present, bar none
The best Christmas present you can give yourself and others? – presence.
I want to invite you to give two extra presents to yourself this year. The gift of presence. The present of presence.
It’s perfect. It’s free, it feels good and it doesn’t require wrapping paper.
It just requires a little bit of time and attention.
Let me be clear about what I mean.
Being present with yourself means being right here, right now. It means you’re not worrying about the future or fretting about the past.
Being present with others means that you give them your full attention, right here, right now.
Can you imagine the level of energy that you would release if you stopped thinking about the past and what you should have done, or what you should have said and how things could have been different? Think of the energy that would be available to you in the here and now if you re-routed the energy you’re using worrying about a future that hasn’t even come to pass. It’s staggering.
Is there anything more delicious than being with someone who is really being present with you? Who is listening to every word you’re saying and really understanding what you’re saying?
Is there any more precious gift that you could give to someone than giving them your full attention?
Is there any more precious gift that you could give to yourself than being present?
Do this for Christmas
Give a present to yourself and to others. For yourself, do this – at sometime during the holiday, take just a few minutes to be alone and quiet. Take a deep breath and light a candle. Look at the flame and give it your full attention for a few minutes. Focus only on the fire and the flame and if thoughts of other things come into your head, keep bringing yourself back to the flame. Make a commitment to yourself that starting now you are going to stay more and more in the present moment – bringing yourself back whenever you wander off.
For the present to others, use this with a family member or friend at a gathering or a party. Decide that with at least one person you are going to be completely present with them. Look them in the eye, listen to every word they say, ask them questions based on what they’ve said to you. Don’t look at other people in the party, other people walking in the door, or your cell phone. Just hang on every word they say. That person will probably not have had anyone really listen to them like that in a long time, and it will feel delicious to them.
These practices are simple, but powerful. They affect everything on all the levels – physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. As you do this practice, you’ll find it gets easier and easier, but more and more powerful.
I hope you have a blessed holiday and know that we are here for you. If you’ve been reading my newsletters for a long time, and thought about doing a retreat but you haven’t given yourself permission, maybe this is the year. It’s definitely the gift that keeps on giving. Click here and one of our Angel Guides will call you.
Wishing you a wonderful holiday week,
Debra
Debra Stangl / Founder
Sedona Soul Adventures – Transforming Lives One Soul At A Time
(877) 204-3664
https://sedonasouladventures.com
Carly Simon and Unworthiness
I think almost everyone has at least some level of unworthiness in them. At least, in all the years I’ve spent working with people, it seems to be true. It’s been amazing to me to find people in all walks of life, incredibly successful and accomplished, but who suffer from a sense of unworthiness.
But I have to say it was really stunning for me to read Carly Simon’s new memoir Boys in the Trees and to discover how insecure and unworthy she felt. I have always loved Carly Simon. I had all her albums and belted them out when I was alone. I thought she had it all — she was an incredible songwriter, she had a fabulous voice, she was gorgeous in an offbeat way, she had an amazing and long career and she married my other favorite singer, James Taylor, and they had 2 beautiful children. No matter how you look at it, she had it all, right?
But it wasn’t enough. When she married James Taylor in 1982, her 2nd album had just come out and it was climbing the charts and getting rave reviews. In her diary at the time she wrote “I don’t feel any more worthy inside than I did previously”.
In the book she writes:
“Where, oh where did that feeling of unworthiness come from? I knew only that it was something that was with me all the time. Why did I expect marriage to change how I felt? Were my expectations too dramatic?… These thoughts mixed in with another voice… “But you’re not quite good enough.”
If Carly Simon, at the height of her fame and at the apex of her relationship thought she wasn’t good enough, what hope is there for the rest of us?
But that’s the real point — your worthiness (or lack of it) doesn’t have anything to do with what you’re doing or not doing. It has to do with how you feel at your core.
Do you feel like you’re a good person?
Do you feel lovable?
Do you feel like you’re living your life the way it was meant to be lived?
I always loved the old Stuart Smalley skits on Saturday Night Live. Stuart was a 12 step and self development junkie who had a mock self help show called “Daily Affirmations with Stuart Smalley”. He always ended his show by looking in the mirror and saying “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!”. It was always funny and sad to watch poor Stuart saying that to himself (because you could tell he didn’t really believe it). So, how about you?
Are you good enough?
Are you smart enough?
And doggone it, do people actually like you?
Unworthiness is an issue we deal with in so many of the retreats we do here at Sedona Soul Adventures. Not only in the individual retreats, but also in our couples retreats, because a deep feeling of unworthiness affects all parts of your life, not only your success, but also your relationships. One of my favorites of these sessions is called Core Belief Transformation. The first part of the session uses a number of processes to discover the deepest core belief that is not serving you and is holding you back. Then other processes are used to release that belief. Then other processes are used to substitute the old belief with a new belief that is rock solid and empowering. It’s not just a positive thinking exercise. The different processes that are used deal with all the levels — physical, mental, emotional and spiritual — so that the empowering beliefs are really set in at your core.
The first time I did this session, I assumed I knew what the disempowering belief was. I was completely wrong! Discovering what it was, moving it out and then moving the new one in was one of the most powerful sessions I’ve ever done (and as you can imagine, I’ve done a lot of sessions!) But most importantly, it had a life changing impact on how I felt about myself and my life.
One of the things I know for sure about you is that you are a beloved child of God. Every single religion in the world teaches us this. So if God loves us, don’t you think it’s time for you to start loving you?
I know it’s easy for me to tell you “start loving yourself”. I know it’s easier said than done. When I first started coming to Sedona in 1999, unworthiness was an issue I had to deal with in a big way and truth be told, it’s still something that will show itself. But the good news is, help is available. This is one of the biggest issues we deal with here and the results are extraordinary. Read what happened with Susan, who not only did not love herself, but was in a deep depression:
Susan says after her Soul Adventure “I’m not afraid, I’m high on life and I love myself like I never have before”
“Tears fill my eyes as I write this. I was in a major depression for the past 2 years. I have slept through the daytime during this time because I didn’t have the strength or desire to face life. It was so very dark. I was only up during the night and I was so alone and felt completely lost. My best friend of thirty years has been involved with Sedona Soul Adventures for a couple of years and she knew this would be the right place for me. I loved every minute of my experience. I am now alive and awake for the first time in 20 years. It is a new birth for me, an exciting new beginning. I can’t wait to get up every day. I am so high on life it’s so exciting. I am not afraid anymore. I love myself like I never have before.I am forever grateful to all of my teachers and healers. I can’t wait for my next trip. I love you Sedona Soul Adventures! My Prayers of love will be sent out into the Universe for you to be helping others like myself.”
Susan P., Stone Mountain, Georgia
Click here and one of our Angel Guides will call you. Or if you’d prefer, call us toll free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada). For our friends outside the US and Canada call 01 928-204-5988 or click here and one of our Angel Guides will call you. They will talk to you (or both of you if it’s a couple), they’ll figure out the blocks that are holding you back and they’ll design a retreat that will bring you into the love and joy that is your birthright.
As I always say, if you knew what could happen, you’d be contacting us right now!
Wishing you a week filled with the knowing that you’re good enough, your smart enough and doggone it, people like you!,
Debra
Debra Stangl / Founder
Sedona Soul Adventures – Transforming Lives One Soul At A Time
(877) 204-3664
https://sedonasouladventures.com
Taking the portal to other dimensions on our Peru trip (June 17-30, 2016)
I don’t know why, but I love this picture. The one on the left is me doing ceremony at the Doorway of Aramu Muru on one of our past trips to Peru. This is another of the wonderful ceremonies we do on our trip each year. Jorge Luis Delgado (our shaman and guide) is very well known for discovering the Doorway of Aramu Muru (the photo on the right is Jorge doing ceremony at the Doorway). And each year we do an amazing ceremony here. The doorway is considered a portal to other dimensions, but I’m happy to say we’ve never lost anyone yet! I’ve had some amazing experiences at this place.
“The Peru trip was life changing”
Alan & Susan Gold
For information on our fantastic Day to Day Itinerary Click here
For information on Pricing Click here
If you’d like to download our Peru Brochure Click here
If you have questions, please send me an email at:
[email protected]
or give me call – 928/301-2896 – I love talking about Peru.
From separate hotel rooms to marriage saved
I love it so much that we’ve had so many couples that we’ve helped through Sedona Soul Adventures. We’ve had so many couples come here on the brink of divorce (or breaking up if they’re not married) and it’s so amazing what happens. But a few weeks ago I was afraid it wasn’t going to work for one of the couples that came to us.
In the 13 years of doing this work, I had never seen before. The relationship was so done, so over, that they weren’t even staying in the same hotel room together. They didn’t even travel to Sedona together.
The first session that we do with everyone is an Orientation, so they know what’s happening and what’s going to happen and sort of ease them into the retreat. When it’s possible, I like to come to the Orientations for just a few minutes and say hello. When I got to the office for this Orientation, I was expecting to see Chris and Pat together but only Chris was there. I was early and their Angel Guide wasn’t there yet, so I started talking to Chris. Most people starting a retreat are usually a combination of excited and nervous. But Chris started telling me she wasn’t excited, she wasn’t all that interested in being here and doing this because as far as she was concerned the relationship was over. She felt like she was just doing this as a final ending for Pat to accept that it was over. And that’s when I found out they were staying in separate hotels.
Pat came in next and we hugged. I told them both I was happy to meet them and they went onto their Orientation. As I left, my heart felt a little sad, because I assumed the marriage wouldn’t be saved. I said a prayer for both of them that whatever would happen would be best for both of them, but there was a part of me that felt that disappointment that we wouldn’t be able to work our magic on this.
But I was wrong.
A miracle happened.
Everything turned around.
The marriage was saved.
You would think that after all these years and thousands of people that I wouldn’t get amazed anymore. But I really did with this one.
So what happened? Well, the first thing that happened was that the Angel Guide put together an absolutely perfect retreat for this situation. Again, I shouldn’t be amazed at that, the Angel Guides always do that, but it really was beyond perfect. One of the things I’ve found over the years in working with couples (first as a divorce attorney for 20 years and now doing couples retreats with Sedona Soul Adventures) is that when a relationship is coming close to ending that usually both people are very focused on what’s wrong with the other person. They’re usually so focused on that, that they aren’t looking at their part in the situation, not even a little bit. That’s completely understandable, especially when there have been a lot of hurts, or when infidelity is an issue.
If you aren’t familiar with how we do our retreats, we have you spend a lot of time talking with one of our Angel Guides on the phone before you come to Sedona so that the Angel Guide can get a really good idea of what’s going on, what’s happening, and what you would like to have happen in the retreat. When it’s a couples retreat, the Angel Guide speaks with both people separately. Then based on that deep conversation, the Angel Guide custom designs your retreat with different sessions and different practitioners. We have over 50 practitioners and many of them have been doing work with individuals and couples for over 20 years. The Angel Guide is a master at putting you together with the perfect sessions and the perfect practitioners.
We have a Proven Process that we use and it is so amazing how incredibly well it works. All of the sessions are completely private, so that you are working one-on-one or two-on-one with the Practitioners. In a couples retreat we find that the best retreat is usually a combination of some sessions as a couple and some sessions focused on each individual. What we find is that each person is bringing their own hurts, triggers, blocks and issues to the relationship and when we can clear those, magic can happen.
And that’s exactly what happened here. The retreat started with a session with both of them together, talking about the problems and the hurts, but that first session ended with both of them saying they loved each other and even Chris said that if the marriage could work again that would make her very happy, but she didn’t see how that could be possible.
Then they each did two days of individual sessions focused on their own issues. For Pat, she realized what a huge issue her anger is, especially within the relationship. During these sessions, she was able to see the source of her anger and change her relationship with it (which would then change the anger issues within the relationship with Chris). She said she felt free after this experience.
For Chris, she saw how events in her childhood had given her the false belief that she is unloveable. She saw how she was telling herself that the relationship with Pat was giving her more feedback that she is unloveable. She saw how by demanding that Pat love her, she was actually pushing Pat away. When she could stand solidly in her love for herself, all the negative parts dropped away. In her breath journey session, she saw visions and felt a direct connection with that highest part of herself, feeling a deep love for herself. She said she felt like a weight had been lifted.
They came into their final day of sessions as a couple, but things had changed for each them as individuals. Chris had dropped all her anger at Pat. Pat had dropped her demands. They learned a powerful forgiveness process that brought them into the realization that they love each other and want to stay together. Everything had changed around.
They left here in love with themselves and in love with each other and with tools to not only maintain that, but to keep it growing deeper.
As they said, it was “a new beginning for their relationship and for their personal self renewal”.
When I heard all this I was amazed and so happy.
As I said, we do this all the time so I shouldn’t have been so amazed. But with the way this started off, I was especially happy and grateful.
If your relationship is not where you want it to be, don’t wait until things are at the point of no return. Speak to one of our Angel Guides and have them custom design a retreat that will be perfect for you and your beloved.
Click here and one of our Angel Guides will call you. Or if you’d prefer, call us toll free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada). For our friends outside the US and Canada call 01 928-204-5988 or click here and one of our Angel Guides will call you.
Wishing you a week filled with miracles,
Debra
Debra Stangl / Founder
Sedona Soul Adventures – Transforming Lives One Soul At A Time
(877) 204-3664
https://sedonasouladventures.com
Sue says her life has been forever changed by her her Soul Adventure
“I expected results but was overwhelmed with the tremendous spiritual and emotional experience that took place. My adventures were paced perfectly so that each session seemed to build upon the next and I felt my body and mind were ready to move to the next level. The intentions I set the first day were achieved and my life has been forever changed for the better. I would recommend Sedona Soul Adventures to everyone, everywhere!”
Sue B., Aptos, California
Do ceremony at Machu Picchu on the Solstice on our amazing Peru trip (June 17-30)
One of the most amazing things we do on our Peru trip is the ceremony we do at Machu Picchu on the Solstice (June 21) with our incredible shaman, Jorge Luis Delgado. We rise before dawn and Jorge takes us to a special place within the complex. We’re sort of hidden away and on our own in this majestic place. Jorge leads us in a special ceremony as we start to feel the sun’s rays. It’s magical.
Come with me and other soul adventurers as we experience mystical Peru with one of the spiritual masters of our time, Jorge Luis Delgado. It’s truly a life changing experience.
“How do I EXPLAIN our trip to Peru with words? It’s almost impossible. But let me start by saying that Sedona Soul Adventures delivered the most sacred, fun and caring container for diving into an exploration of my own self and the connection to the Universe. Debra took complete care of us to fly and go deep, and Jorge was the perfect guide to open the real connection to the roots of Peru. Thank you Sedona Soul Adventures!!! We’ll travel with you to Egypt soon…”
Juan Montenegro
For all the information on pricing and our fabulous Itinerary Click here
You can also download our Peru brochure – Click here
If you have any questions, send me an email at
[email protected]
or better yet – call me on my cell at 928/301-2896