Want More Love? – Part II
Last week in Part I, I spoke about sexless marriages and how that has been a theme of many of our Couples Retreats lately and how successful we’ve been in helping couples with that.
This week in Part II, I want to talk about how we’ve been seeing a growing number of people who are telling us they want more love and connection (and sex) in their lives. But actually, the biggest part is the love and connection piece.
Ironically, what we’re finding in these situations is that the real culprit is not love on the outside. It’s the lack of love the person is feeling for themselves that’s blocking love from coming in.
This lack of self love, lack of self acceptance, having an underlying belief that you’re not good enough, not deserving of love, can block everything in your life — not only love, but abundance and happiness and general well being.
The real question is, where does that come from and what can you do about it?
One of the things I love so much about what we do here at Sedona Soul Adventures is that we are so great at figuring that out and helping people with it.
We had a client here a few months ago who had been dealing with this issue for years, primarily with talk therapy. She knew she felt unloveable and thought it had to do with her disapproving and stern mother, who had died the year before. Her Angel Guide felt like there was probably more to the story and that’s exactly what happened. One of the first sessions that she did was a Karmic Clearing and in that session it came out that she had more than one past life with her mother where they had been adversaries and deeply competitive. She had actually killed her mother in one of those lifetimes. In the session, the karma and the soul contracts were completely cleared and she said she actually felt the energy and tension from all that flowing out of her body.
She then did a Core Belief Transformation session and in this one, she was dealing with the false belief “I’m not lovable”. This session is so powerful because it connects on all the levels – physical, mental, emotional and physical. Going back and seeing where this belief went in was so powerful and she had a huge emotional response, crying and just letting go. She said she was able to solidly replace that old false belief with the new empowering one – “I love myself just the way I am”.
But the breath work was the real capper. She literally went into the altered state and was viewing her mother’s life from a number of different angles and perspectives. She saw what a difficult life her mother had had, and why it had been so difficult for her mother to feel and express love. Just as she was feeling this huge surge of compassion for her mother, her mother suddenly appeared to her to in a vision, smiling and telling her how much she loved her. Needless to say, there was a lot of kleenex used in that session. But she told me she literally felt her mother’s love and felt it in a way that she had never felt before.
In her Spiritual Transformation session, the knowing that she truly loves herself went in really deep and she got some important tools to take home. And again, that’s another thing that’s so great about our retreats. Because we give people tools they can continue to use to not only maintain, but deepen the transformations which happen here.
She went home and everything had changed. She really loved herself. When we connected a few weeks ago, I found out she was getting married! And this week I got a Facebook post from her wedding.
Do you want more love in your life? It all starts with really loving yourself in a deep way. This can be a real struggle for many of us, especially when we don’t really know what has caused our lack of self love in the first place or what is blocking us. Call now to speak to one of our Angel Guides. They’ll spend time talking to you (or both of you if it’s a couple), really digging deep and discovering the blocks that are holding you back from the life or relationship you want. Then they’ll design the retreat that’s perfect for you.
Click here and one of our Angel Guides will call you. Or if you’d prefer, call us toll free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada). For our friends outside the US and Canada call 01 928-204-5988 or click here and one of our Angel Guides will call you.
Wishing you a week filled with love and connection,
Debra
Debra Stangl / Founder
Sedona Soul Adventures – Transforming Lives One Soul At A Time
(877) 204-3664
https://sedonasouladventures.com
Lauren says before her Soul Adventure she was “lost, sad and full of heartache”: after – “I love me!”
“I was in a very dark place and my heart knew I needed to travel to a special place for healing and clarity. I was lost, sad, and full of heartache. Sedona called my name at exactly the right time and I serendipitously came across the Sedona Soul Adventures website. My soul adventure provided a safe place to journey through the pain and grief, gave me the tools to continue the healing process, and helped me become balanced and whole. I am no longer hardened by the world – I am soft and gushy! I no longer react in anger or frustration, I can breathe life and peace inside when confronted with difficult situations. I understand who I am and I love me! Thank you Sedona Soul Adventures! I’ll be back – I promise!”
Lauren S., Dallas, Texas
Download your free copy of our “Sedona Guide to Spiritual Retreats”
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Want More Sex? Part I
Many of you know that I was a divorce attorney for over 20 years in Omaha, Nebraska. I was amazed during that time to find out how many of my divorce clients had pretty much stopped having sex towards the end of their marriage.
What I didn’t know until I started working with couples through Sedona Soul Adventures, is how many sexless marriages there are out there. People who stay in their marriage and don’t have sex.
I was stunned to discover this week that sexless marriage is the top-searched marriage complaint on Google, according to data scientist Seth Stephens-Davidowitz. Searches for “sexless marriage” are three-and-a-half times more common than “unhappy marriage” and eight times more common than “loveless marriage.”
That explains why we see this issue so much in our Couples Retreats. And — I’m happy to say — why it’s something we’re so good at helping people with.
One of the things I know from being a divorce attorney for 20 years and doing Sedona Soul Adventures for 14 years, is that your sex life is an indicator of what’s going on in the marriage. It’s certainly not the only indicator, but it’s a big indicator.
And while sex is an indicator, it is NEVER the underlying cause. There’s always other things going on. And the range of what those things are is also staggering. Sometimes it has to do with things that happened in childhood. Sometimes it has to do with something that happened during the marriage that one person can’t forgive the other for. Sometimes it’s because one person has cheated. Sometimes there’s an anger that one person can’t let go of. Sometimes there’s a shame that one person can’t admit.
And I’ve also been amazed to find out that it’s both men and women who don’t want to have sex. I think the stereotype that I grew up with is the cold, frigid woman. That’s certainly not the case. The number of women who come to us saying their husbands don’t want to have sex is staggering.
But it doesn’t matter whether it’s the man or the woman, this is devastating for both people in the relationship.
And getting at the underlying reasons can be difficult. We’re not sex therapists, we’re just good at getting what’s underneath the problem. We had a couple who first contacted us over one year ago. Actually, the wife contacted us (I’ll call her Linda, they have asked that we not use their real names). When Linda spoke with her Angel Guide she said that her husband (I’ll call him Bill) started this about a year earlier, always saying he felt too stressed out to have sex. Although Linda tried to talk to him about it, he wouldn’t talk about it and would get angry when she tried to push him.
After Linda spoke with her Angel Guide, she arranged for Bill to speak with the Angel Guide. Bill kept saying he was just stressed. The Angel Guide knew there was something much deeper. She designed a Couples Retreat, and Linda was enthusiastic, but Bill was not. Reluctantly, he agreed to come, mostly to appease Linda.
In their first session together, he finally got it that Linda wasn’t angry with him. She was hurt. He finally got it, even though they had done months of therapy. Understanding that she was hurt and not angry made his heart open to her in a way that he hadn’t felt in a very long time.
He then did a session on his own to release his anger. In the session, he was able to look at the stress in his life in a different way. He said he dropped his anger toward Linda, but he mainly dropped his anger toward himself. He said he felt an amazing release.
At the same time, Linda was doing a Core Belief Transformation session and in that she completely got it that this was not about her, this was not about anything that was wrong with her. That took a huge weight off her shoulders.
And then it happened. Bill did a breathwork session. Ironically, he hadn’t wanted to do it, as he felt it was a little too “woo woo” for him. He told me later that he started doing the breath thinking “I’ll just use the time for relaxation”, however, the Universe had something else in mind. He immediately went into the altered state and suddenly saw a vision of an event that had happened between he and his father when he was a teenager. His father had caught him doing something and had shamed him. Bill was completely devastated by the shaming and it was something he never told anyone about.
Bill’s father had died the year before (at about the same time the problems started) and Bill saw the connection in an instant — he saw that he was unhealed from the event that had happened with his father and that’s where all this had come from.
He saw that his father did not mean to shame him, his father thought that he was giving him sound advice that was in his best interests. Suddenly, Bill felt his father’s presence with him in the room and felt the deep love that his father had for him and that he had for his father.
The next thing that happened was that he saw Linda and felt this huge wave of love for her.
Bill said he was crying like he had never cried in his life but that it felt so good and so liberating. He told his practitioner that he couldn’t wait to get back to Linda to tell her all about it.
That night at their hotel they reported that they had an ecstatic and blissful time together.
The next day in their next couples session, they celebrated what had happened, but then their practitioner took it much deeper. They talked a lot about communication and about how they would handle issues that would come up in the future. They realized that the way they handled this – getting angry with each other, not talking, blaming each other — was also how they dealt with each other on other, seemingly smaller issues. Things had been resolved on both a small and large scale.
They learned a process to talk to each other from the heart and then to really connect in with each other through their hearts.
Bill said he loved it so much that all these awarenesses came from him — not from someone else telling him what it was.
Linda said “I can’t thank you enough. I was afraid I was going to have to leave our marriage and I didn’t want to – I love him”
Having spent 20 years as a divorce attorney divorcing people, I can’t tell you how spectacularly gratifying it is that I’ve now spent the last 14 years helping people stay together. And it’s so gratifying that we were named one of the top Marriage Retreats in the U.S. by Guidedoc last year.
If this is an issue that is plaguing you, or if there are other issues that are affecting your relationship, please contact us and do something about it now. You aren’t meant to live in unhappiness. The two of you came together for a reason and part of that reason is to heal together.
Call us and speak to an Angel Guide. They’ll talk to each of you separately and design the retreat that is perfect for the two of you — to bring you back into the love and connection you’re craving.
Click here and one of our Angel Guides will call you. Or if you’d prefer, call us toll free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada). For our friends outside the US and Canada call 01 928-204-5988 or click here and one of our Angel Guides will call you.
If you knew what could happen, you’d be calling us right now.
Wishing you a week filled with lots of love,
Debra
Debra Stangl / Founder
Sedona Soul Adventures – Transforming Lives One Soul At A Time
(877) 204-3664
https://sedonasouladventures.com
Frank and Valerie say “Sedona Soul Adventures saved our marriage”
“After months of marriage counseling the “D” word was coming up more and more. After our Soul Adventure, our relationship is renewed, passionate, and loving. We are connected more than the day we married back 12 years ago. Our communication is better than ever, and our romance is better than ever. Our marriage is safe, and there is no turning back. Thank you to your entire team of loving and talented individuals for all you do. Sedona Soul Adventures saved our marriage.”
Frank & Valerie F., Los Angeles, CA
Download your free copy of our “Sedona Guide to Couples Retreats”
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“Discover the Most Powerful Way to Create the Relationship You’ve Always Dreamed of – and Deep Soul Connection with Your Beloved”. Click here
Procrastination – It's Even Worse Than You Think – Read This Now – Don't it put off!
What if I told you that procrastination is even worse than you already think it is, that it can damage your health and relationships, decrease your happiness level by 94% and lead to deep regret? Yikes!
I read the most fascinating article this week by Sandip Roy, who is a regular contributor on NPR. The studies he was reporting on show not only how damaging procrastination is, but the fascinating part is the longer we allow the procrastination to go on, the worse the consequences.
The study involved students handing in a particular assignment. Even though they had over a month to do the assignment, 86% of the class waited to hand in the assignment until the very last day. But the amazing thing in this study is what happened in the last 24 hours. The longer the student waited to hand in their assignment, the lower their grade was. It kept dropping every hour. The longer the procrastination went on, the worse the consequences.
He cites two other studies, one with over 10,000 subjects that was conducted through the Procrastination Research Group. In that study, 94% of the subjects reported that procrastination had a negative effect on their happiness! In another study by Procrastination and Science, 70% were found to be less happy than the average person! Those are staggering numbers!
Roy reports in the article that habitual procrastination damages relationships and can have a huge negative impact on a person’s career. One of the most chilling things he writes is “Procrastinators frequently resort to lies to reason out their delays, and are often found out, leading to disastrous consequences.”
He talks about that the 3 areas where most people procrastinate have to do with:
1) Education – most of us start procrastinating in school and the behavior and label follows us throughout our entire life;
2) Career – not getting things done and not taking steps to move forward in a career when we know we should be; and
3) Health – not doing the things we know we should be doing for our physical, mental, and emotional well being.
All of which leads to a life filled with regret.
I see this all of the time with our clients who come here for a Soul Adventure. So many of them tell us, “I’ve been wanting to do a Soul Adventure for years”. One woman this week told me she’s been wanting to do a retreat with us for over 5 years! Everyone says pretty much the same thing: “I wouldn’t give myself permission to spend the money or spend the time and I was afraid it wouldn’t work and I kept putting it off. Now I’m at a point where I have to do it.”
And then at the end of their Soul Adventure they always say “I wish I had done this sooner!”
If you aren’t living your best life or if your relationship isn’t giving you all that you want, it’s time to do something about it.
Don’t put it off.
How long has this been going on? 2 months? A year?
If it’s been going on for awhile, what are you doing to change it? If you don’t do something, it isn’t going to change.
As Einstein said, “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result”.
Something has to change. You have to make a decision to do something different.
As the studies show, the longer you allow the procrastination to go on, the worse the consequences.
Come here to Sedona and do a retreat with us. You will be amazed at what will happen in just 3 or 4 days.
Contact us to speak to an Angel Guide. Your Angel Guide will speak with you (or both of you if it’s a couples retreat) on a deep level. Then they’ll custom design a retreat that will bring you into the life or relationship you’re craving. Do it now.
Click here and one of our Angel Guides will call you. Or if you’d prefer, call us toll free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada). For our friends outside the US and Canada call 01 928-204-5988 or click here and one of our Angel Guides will call you.
Wishing you a week filled with doing what you know you need to do,
Debra
Debra Stangl / Founder
Sedona Soul Adventures – Transforming Lives One Soul At A Time
(877) 204-3664
https://sedonasouladventures.com
Janet says after putting it off for years, her Soul Adventure was “the best thing I have ever done for myself”
“Sedona Soul Adventures was the best thing I have ever done for myself. I had seen the emails for years and longed to go but never made the commitment. When stress was overtaking my life and getting so out of control, it was the only place I felt I could turn to. It was an act of survival to get myself balanced again. Being a mother of two young children and working full-time I needed to take some rest and re-energize. It was better than I could have ever imagined it to be. The techniques I learned and the “AHA” moments gave me new life again. Trust me, everyone benefits with a better you. Thank you, Sedona Soul Adventures.”
Janet B, Henderson, Nevada
Download your free copy of our “Sedona Guide to Spiritual Retreats”
Would you like more information on our Retreats? Our free guide shows you how a private retreat in Sedona that is completely customized for you can transform your life in just 3 days. Click here
My guilty secret, perfection, not settling and Amazon Prime
I have to tell you a guilty secret. I love Amazon Prime.
I was realizing this week that I love Amazon Prime so much because it allows a level of perfection that we don’t always have in every area of our lives. It allows me to not only have perfection, but also to not settle for less than perfection. And as much as possible, I am determined to not settle.
I find that the less I settle, the happier I am.
I find that the more I settle, the less happy I am.
You do the math. Not settling = more happy.
I had another beautiful experience with Amazon Prime this week and that’s what got me thinking about having perfection in my life and not settling.
As you read this, you might think that what I’m talking about is trivial, but I assure you it isn’t. The more that we expect and demand things to be the best they can be, the more the Universe conspires to bring the best into our lives (and it doesn’t matter if you’re talking about the work you do in the world or a toaster).
I’ll tell you my experience this week in a moment, but first I want to tell you why I love Amazon Prime:
1. They have virtually everything and I do mean everything! I live in Sedona (which I adore, as you all know), but we are a small population (only 12,000) and the only shopping we have (except for $50 t-shirts) is a Walgreens and Bealls (a discount clothing store). We have to go to Flagstaff or Phoenix to do any real shopping.
Before Amazon, I used to settle for things that weren’t exactly what I wanted because it was all that was available, and I didn’t want to have to drive to Flagstaff or Phoenix. And they were seemingly insignificant things, so I would let it slide and just settle for not having exactly what I wanted.
But now, I can find virtually everything I want! How many things in life can you say that about? Where you can — in almost every situation — find your heart’s desire?
2. In this world filled with uncertainty, they are completely reliable. With Prime, I receive everything in 1-2 days. And when they say 1-2 days, they mean 1-2 days. They have never disappointed me. How many things (or people) can you say that about?
3. It’s so easy. I find what I want so quickly, I buy everything with One Click and then here’s the best part. If I don’t love what I got and want to return something, I click the box on the web site, I tape up the shipping box and go to UPS (a 4 minute drive and the same shopping center where I get manicures) and just drop it off (no standing in line). The minute UPS clicks on the box, the credit goes back on my credit card. So much easier than driving to Flagstaff or Phoenix. Ease — how many things do we have in our lives that are really easy?
4. They are a source of unlimited knowledge. With Prime, I can get an incredible number of movies and TV shows. “Transparent” is an original Amazon Prime show and it’s fantastic. Recently I watched a documentary about World War II and it was extraordinary. I buy all my books on Kindle now and it has set me free! I usually read 4 books at a time (one on spirituality or self development, a biography, a novel and something funny). When I would travel (like on my trip to Egypt last month), it would be such a drag to lug 4 books around with me. Now all of them are on my iPad mini (along with magazines and podcasts). All this knowledge at my fingertips – what a world we live in!
5. They want me to be happy and they don’t want me to settle. The source of all this bliss and contemplation of perfection and not settling is (amazingly) about a plastic cord cover. Again, you might think this is trivial, but it isn’t – read on.
In my beautiful home office (where I do all my writing), I have a beautiful, sleek Apple computer that has a big cord coming out of it. My desk faces the door of the office and is placed in perfect feng shui spacing. This leaves 4 feet of cord going to the wall. I changed the carpet in my office a few months ago to a beautiful thick, plush off white (not practical, but beautiful). The existing plastic cord cover is brown and ugly and very visible on the off white carpet. Every day I would look at that cord cover and it wouldn’t make me feel good.
Finally, last week I realized that the brown cord cover was detracting from my happiness, so I found a beige one on Amazon. I ordered it and it was here in 2 days (free shipping with Prime). But it was a dark beige and I didn’t love it. I went back on Amazon and found one in ivory. I clicked the button for the refund, printed out the shipping label and took the return to UPS the next day (as I was going for a manicure). The day after that the refund appeared on my credit card. The day after that, the ivory cord cover arrived and it matches my carpet perfectly. Every time I look at it, it makes me feel good.
And that’s what got me thinking about these little things about our lives that make all the difference. Having things that are easy and playful, that make us feel good, is so important.
Not settling for things that don’t make us feel wonderful, even down to the smallest details. Like a plastic cord cover. Because the small details make up the largest parts of our lives.
When you make the decision that you only want things in your life that make you feel good, your life will start to change. And I don’t just mean “things” like plastic cord covers, I mean everything — your work, your relationship, your body, your friends. Everything in your life either adds to your energy or takes away from it.
On the surface, these might seem like small things, but they’re not. I was in the habit of “settling” for something because Sedona has no shopping and I didn’t want to wait until the next time I went to Phoenix. Now I have exactly what I want and I have it delivered to my door by a friendly young man who gives my dog a biscuit every time he comes.
And that’s how our lives should be. Too often we’re “settling”. We’re putting up with mediocrity. And at the base of that is the belief that we don’t deserve better than that. And when we stay in that energy, the Universe keeps on delivering more mediocrity.
Changing one little thing can have a huge impact. It leads to changing more little things. And when you move into the energy of change, that’s when change starts happening on all the levels.
I invite you to take stock of your life. Where are you settling? Are you putting up with a mediocre life because it feels like that’s all you can have? I promise you, that’s not the way it works. When you start demanding and expecting things to be wonderful, things start to shift. Little shifts become big shifts.
The big shifts in my life (from unhappy to happy, from hating my work to doing the work of my dreams, from 40 pounds overweight to ideal weight, from $50,000 in debt to financial stability) came when I first started coming to Sedona in 1999. I made the decision that I wasn’t going to settle anymore for the life I had. I’m so glad I made that decision.
Your life can be different. Don’t settle.
If you’re ready to make a shift, if you’re ready to not settle, come to Sedona and do a retreat. It’s the fastest way I know of for you to make the big shifts start happening. Click here and one of our Angel Guides will call you. Or if you’d prefer, call us toll free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada). For our friends outside the US and Canada call 01 928-204-5988 or click here and one of our Angel Guides will call you. They will custom design your retreat to bring your life (or your relationship) into the perfection you deserve.
Wishing you a week filled with perfection,
Debra
Debra Stangl / Founder
Sedona Soul Adventures – Transforming Lives One Soul At A Time
(877) 204-3664
https://sedonasouladventures.com
Shelby says her Sedona Soul Adventure was “perfect”
“I could not have had a more perfect experience, I can take everything I have learned from this amazing experience, and apply it to daily life and make this a better life for myself and those around me. I don’t even know how much my entire trip cost, it did not and does not matter, what I learned and gained is so precious, how do you weigh the value of freeing a soul? You are all so inspirational, and I thank you for such a transforming experience.”
Shelby K., Foster City, California
One more room available for our Machu Picchu trip, June 17-30, 2016
If Machu Picchu is on your bucket list and if these dates work for you, take action now. We have one more room left on the trip, for either a couple or a Single. And if you’re a Single, don’t worry about coming on your own. One of the most wonderful things about our trips is that our groups are in love with each other within 48 hours. And make friendships that last a lifetime.
We still have one more space available – act now.
For information on our fantastic Day to Day Itinerary Click here
For information on Pricing Click here
If you have questions, please send me an email at:
[email protected]
or even better, give me call – 928/301-2896 – that’s my cell and you’ll reach me directly.