3 Reasons you shouldn’t make New Year’s Resolutions
Before moving to Sedona 18 years ago, I lived in Omaha, Nebraska and one of my friends there owned a fast food restaurant that was part of a small regional chain. They had fabulous burgers, wonderful fries, heavenly onion rings and a fantastic salad bar. It was close to Mutual of Omaha, so they got a huge lunch crowd.
The first year he had the franchise, my friend was told by corporate to stock up the salad bar to double proportions for January 2, but to go back down to regular portions again on January 3. He was told the reason and didn’t quite believe it — people go with their New Year’s Resolution of “losing 10 pounds” or “eating healthy” for exactly one day. They’ll be back to the burgers and fries by January 3.
He did what he was told and corporate was exactly right. They sold double salad bar on January 2 and by January 3 it was back to business as usual. By the time he told me this, he had owned the restaurant for 10 years and it had been true every single year.
All this week I’ve been deluged with emails about “How To Have Your Best Year Ever!” and the messages are full of making “resolutions that will last”. The problem is, as you and I know, human beings just don’t stick to resolutions. For the vast majority of people, the longest they last is to the end of January, according to all the articles. Based on the salads vs. cheeseburgers scenario, I don’t think it’s even that long.
The one article that I read that was really illuminating on the subject came from “Psychology Today”, entitled “Why People Can’t Keep Their New Year’s Resolutions”, by Ray Williams. In it, he says:
“Habitual behavior is created by thinking patterns that create neural pathways and memories, which become the default basis for your behavior when you’re faced with a choice or decision. Trying to change that default thinking by “not trying to do it,” in effect just strengthens it. Change requires creating new neural pathways from new thinking.”
And the problem is, creating this new type of thinking is very difficult to do, especially when you are living your life, doing all your old behaviors and surrounded by all of your usual stimuli that you are reacting to (your spouse, your work, your children, your boss, your in-laws, etc.). That’s why most people are back to the burgers in a very short time.
So don’t make a bunch of New Year’s resolutions this year and here are the 3 reasons why:
1. The chances are you won’t stick to it.
2. It can make matters worse. Some studies show that people who resolve to lose weight actually gain weight during January. I believe this is true because “what you focus on expands” – literally!
3. The worst part is, as soon as you break the resolution you’ll feel bad about yourself, you’ll start being hard on yourself and that’s the last thing you need to begin the New Year. You need to feel good about yourself, not the opposite.
So my suggestion is to not make the standard New Year’s Resolution. Instead, do something that works, that has a high level of success and that can change around your thinking — make the decision to come to Sedona and do a Soul Adventures retreat. That can actually change your life or your relationship around.
Every week we have people come here who go from unhappy to happy, from disconnected to connected, to feeling lost to finding their soul purpose and living it. We have couples come to us who are on the verge of divorce, things are turned around and they are happier and juicier than they’ve ever been and committed to their future. We’ve even had people lose weight! Have you seen the YouTube video of our client who lost 17 pounds of what she called “protection weight” in the month after she went home? Wow – 2 resolutions in one! – Get Happy and Lose Weight!
There actually is a way to “Make 2018 The Best Year Ever!” – come here and we’ll show you. Connect with us and we’ll create a retreat that’s custom designed for exactly what you need to bring you into the life or the relationship of your dreams. Click below to set up a time to connect with one of our Retreat Guides:
Or if you’d prefer, call us toll-free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada). For our friends outside the US and Canada call 01 928-204-5988 or click here and one of our Retreat Guides will call you.
Would you like to speak to someone today? We’re even open on Sundays, because we’re here for you.
Wishing you a fabulous 2018 filled with adventure and transformation,
Debra
Debra Stangl / Founder
Sedona Soul Adventures – Transforming Lives One Soul At A Time
(877) 204-3664
https://sedonasouladventures.com
8 months later, Federico says his Soul Adventure was “life changing, transformational” and “the best thing I have ever done for myself in MY LIFE”
“Wow!!!! I’m in complete bliss and stillness…so fresh and renewed…I can’t thank you enough Sedona Soul Adventures…8 months later and I’m still feeling such powerful and incredible shifts…your work is truly beyond amazing and intuitive…Thank You!!!
My retreat was the best thing I have ever done for myself in MY LIFE and I wish the whole world would do this for themselves….it would make the world a much better place!!!
My retreat ROCKED!!! Hands down – life changing, transformational, powerful, cleansing, shifts, synchronicity, alignment, consciousness, awareness, love, peace, joy, happiness, freedom, ABUNDANCE…..you name it….it did it for me!!!
Most of all, it taught me how to integrate these teachings into my daily life and that I can keep myself in alignment in LIFE, no matter the level of stress in the high-paced world of finance and intensity of New York, or regardless of what life throws at me and the “external” circumstances…personal, relationships, or professional….it taught me that I HAVE IT ALL…ALL INSIDE ME….and that is the most POWERFUL thing and highest vibration in the Universe – tapping into your HEART AND SOUL!!!! Thank You Sedona Soul Adventures – All of YOU, THANK YOU!!!”
– Federico T., Brooklyn, New York
Where would you like to go this year? Egypt or Machu Picchu?
There is one decision you can make this year that will have an incredible impact — where would you like to go? Egypt or Machu Picchu?
The Egypt trip is so incredible. We go to all the must see places – the Great Pyramid, the Sphinx, Abu Simbel – plus we also go to places the average tourist doesn’t see – the Isis Temple at Philae, the Hathor temple at Dendara. Plus, we do ceremonies in the temples and tombs, including 2 hours of private time just for our group inside the Great Pyramid. The trip is February 11-25, 2018 – Click here for all the information including pricing:
Or is Machu Picchu the one on your bucket list? What an amazing trip. It’s April 14-27, 2018. Machu Picchu, Lake Titicaca, Cuzco, Sacsayhuaman, Ollantaytambo. Plus, being with our guide and shaman, Jorge Luis Delgado, is life changing. Click here for all the information:
If you have any questions about either trip, please send me an email at:
[email protected]
Or call me at (877) 204-3664 – I love talking about Egypt and Peru!
Merry Christmas plus Wedding Video
Richard and I sent out this e-Christmas Card and Wedding video last week to our family and friends (many of whom are people who started out as clients of Sedona Soul Adventures and through the years became friends). We had such an overwhelmingly sweet response to the card and to the Wedding video that I thought, I should send this out to you, my Sedona Soul Adventures family.
We certainly do feel blessed and Sedona Soul Adventures has been such a huge part of it — I know that all the work I’ve done over the years with our fabulous practitioners helped me to recover from my divorce 7 years ago and brought me to the point of being in a place where I could bring in this beautiful, intelligent, spiritual and loving man right at the time when I was ready.
When I think about where I was two Christmases ago and where I am this Christmas, I can hardly believe it. Two Christmases ago, I was alone. As much as I loved my life, I suddenly felt like I really wanted to have someone to share my life with.
I set two intentions for 2016 – I wanted my book to come out and become an Amazon #1 Best Seller and I wanted to have a really deep, wonderful love relationship.
I did some sessions with some of my fantastic practitioners, making sure that any blocks to love were removed and gone and any thoughts of unworthiness were blasted through. My astrologer told me the end of 2016 was a great time for the book to come out and for someone to come into my life. My book (“The Journey To Happy”) hit Amazon #1 on October 16 and I remember thinking around that time, “okay, the book is done, now I have time for the man to come in”.
A few weeks later, I met Richard. So last Christmas I was filled with hope and excitement about all the possibilities, never dreaming that by this Christmas all this amazing stuff would happen.
So I’m sending you lots of love and many blessings on this very special Christmas. My prayer for you is that if your life isn’t exactly the way you want it right now, that by next Christmas it will be. If you want to make that happen, please connect with us, let us help, come here to Sedona and do a retreat. So that next Christmas you can say, “wow, I can’t believe what’s happened since last Christmas!”.
If that sounds good, give yourself this Christmas present — Click here to speak to one of our Retreat Guides. True to our promise, we’re here for you and someone is actually working today to be available to you. But don’t worry, I gave them all Christmas off!
If you would like, Click here to watch our 4 minute Wedding video, it’s very sweet.
Wishing you a happy and blessed Christmas,
Debra
Debra Stangl / Founder
Sedona Soul Adventures – Transforming Lives One Soul At A Time
(877) 204-3664
https://sedonasouladventures.com
How to change a difficult family member
How would you like to spend Christmas with this bunch? Especially the guy on the end who has a bottle of bourbon in front of him?
We all seem to have difficult people in our lives. The ones you just can’t seem to get along with, the ones that no matter what you do, your interactions are unpleasant or worse. If it’s a family member, you’re forced to be with them during the holidays and you can already feel yourself gearing up for what you know is going to be unpleasant, not fun and the opposite of how you want to feel, which is happy, joyful and full of Christmas cheer (not the kind in a bottle!).
Not too long ago a woman came to us for a Soul Adventure telling us that she simply couldn’t live with her husband anymore. She said he was driving her crazy, didn’t appreciate anything she did, was constantly criticizing her and never doing anything to express his love for her or to do anything to help her. He had shut down and they weren’t communicating, and when they were communicating, she felt like he wasn’t truthful with her. She wanted to do the retreat to recenter, and gather her strength so that she could leave the marriage.
Instead, something else happened.
And a few weeks after she got home she reported “It’s a miracle. It’s like he’s a completely different person. It’s almost unbelievable.”
What happened? What caused her husband to change? It’s simple – she changed.
How did that happen? During her retreat, she was able to really get it that everything she was complaining about was something that she was doing to him. She was stunned. She realized she was driving him crazy, she didn’t appreciate anything he did, she was constantly criticizing him and never doing anything to express her love or to help him. She realized that she had shut down also and neither of them were communicating with each other, and when they were communicating there were many times she wasn’t completely honest with him, because she wasn’t telling him how she was truly feeling.
Digging a little deeper, we discovered that she was mirroring her own parents’ relationship. Her mother didn’t appreciate her father, was constantly criticizing him, they never expressed their love for each other and there would be long stretches of time where she would give him “the silent treatment”, just like she was doing with her husband.
She had also had a difficult relationship with her mother who she felt never really loved her. She realized how much she was trying to get the love she never got from her mother from her husband. She was shocked to remember that her mother kept secrets from her father and engaged her in that conspiracy, and she was doing the same thing with one of her daughters, setting up this Us vs. Him dynamic.
In her sessions, all that got changed around. In her Core Belief Transformation, she was able to go into compassion for her mother and for her husband and for herself. She was able to let go of the belief “I’m not lovable”. She was able to see that her husband truly does love her. She was able to see how her lack of self love was preventing her from giving and receiving love to and from her husband.
But it was her Clarity in Relationships session that really nailed it for her. She discovered how she was projecting all over her husband. When they reached the turn-around phase of the session, she was absolutely dumbfounded. She saw the truth that it wasn’t him, it was her – the results of her wounds, her pain and the negative beliefs she’d been holding. And the best part is, it wasn’t us telling her all this, it was her coming to that understanding completely on her own. That’s one of the magical pieces of what we are able to do here.
In her Breath Journey, her mother (who had passed away many years ago), came to her in a vision. She came up to her, looked deeply into her eyes and hugged her. Nothing was said, but she felt this overwhelming love from her mother, unlike anything she had ever felt before. It completely filled up the empty hole that had always been there. She told me later “feeling all this love from my mother, somehow made me start feeling all this love for myself and for my husband and for my children and really, for everyone!”
In her final Integration session (where we map out a plan for integrating all the awarenesses and implementing all the tools you’ve received), she made the commitment to herself that she was going to maintain all this. Not only was she not going to leave the marriage, she realized how much she loved her husband and how much she wanted their family. She decided she wasn’t going to demand anything from her husband or try to get him to change, she was just going to go home and love him.
She went home and said to her husband, “I love you. I know I’ve criticized you and blamed you and I’m sorry for that. It stops now.” She set one boundary with him and said “I’m going to be truthful in all my communication with you and I want you to be truthful with me”. He agreed.
She didn’t force him to engage. She didn’t force him to communicate with her, but suddenly, amazingly, that’s exactly what he started doing. He saw immediately how changed she was and started asking more questions about what had happened on the retreat and she answered him openly and honestly. They cried together.
She got it. She started living what the poster says:
He told us he started feeling all the love from her. He couldn’t believe all the changes and how peaceful and calm and happy she is. And guess what? After the holidays they’re coming for a Couples Retreat. He’s the one who suggested it! He wants what she’s having — peace and calm and lots of love. He wants the same kind of turn-around she had and they want to really learn how to communicate and to grow more deeply together.
I love this quote from Byron Katie – Everyone is a mirror image of you — your husband, your wife, your children, your mother, your father, your annoying relatives that you have to be with at Christmas. Everything you don’t like in other people is a mirror of something you don’t like in yourself.
But the good news is, it’s something that is trying to come up for healing — that’s why it keeps coming up!
And the really good news is – The only difficult family member you need to change is you!
It starts with a simple decision:
Decide to have a different Christmas.
Decide to have a different year next year.
Decide to heal these wounds that are holding you back and keeping you from the peace and joy we all yearn to celebrate during the holidays.
Decide to have a turn-around. Decide to come and do a Soul Adventure.
It will turn everything around.
Connect with us and speak with one of our Retreat Guides. They’ll get you started on the turn-around.
They’ll connect with you (or both of you, if it’s a couples retreat) in deep conversation. Then they’ll custom design the perfect retreat for you.
Or if you’d prefer, call us toll-free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada). For our friends outside the US and Canada call 01 928-204-5988 or click here and one of our Retreat Guides will call you.
Would you like to speak to someone today? We’re even open on Sundays, because we’re here for you.
Wishing you a wonderful holiday season,
Debra
Debra Stangl / Founder
Sedona Soul Adventures – Transforming Lives One Soul At A Time
(877) 204-3664
https://sedonasouladventures.com
Eileen says, “This experience has changed my life!”
“Ok, this has taken so long coming back to you because I wanted to be able to say something helpful instead of “It was so great!!” which it was, but to be more articulate…” I was at a point in my life where after a few rough years, I simply needed some help, I sought it and found Sedona Soul Adventures. This experience has changed my life, it centered me, allowed me to see the amazing life I already have and appreciate it, it has given me direction and an idea about how I want my future to be. I was extremely impressed and grateful for the customized sessions for my particular needs and the quality of the practitioners and SSA staff. Thank you Sedona Soul Adventures!”
– Eileen G., Northport, Maine
On the Egypt trip, we take care of everything! Join us Feb. 11-25
One of the most wonderful things about our Return to Egypt tour (Feb 11-25, 2018) is that we take care of absolutely everything! On a trip like this you want to make sure that you’ll be safe and taken care of by people who really know Egypt.
This is my 18th trip to Egypt, I’ve been going there since 1983. I’ve been working with Guardian Travel since 1995 and have been taking groups to Egypt each year since 2004.
Guardian Travel is known and respected throughout Egypt and they handle everything in such a magnificent way. From the largest most important things to the smallest details, everything is taken care of masterfully. It starts in Cairo where they greet us so warmly at the airport and from that time on, you won’t have to touch your bags for the next two weeks – it’s one of the small details that I love.
They arrange everything at our fabulous 5-star hotels and 5-star Nile Cruise.
They take us to wonderful restaurants like the one that has a panoramic view of the Sphinx and the Great Pyramid and on one of the nights we have dinner at the Fayed home which is across the street from the Sphinx!
They’re with us all the time on all of our excursions from our camel ride to the Great Pyramid to slipping some extra baksheesh (tip money) to the guards at temples so we can do a private meditation there (ssshhh – don’t tell anyone!).
Our guide is giving us all the information about the amazing places we’re going to, answering all of our questions, reading hieroglyphics to explain a particular carving, making jokes and shepherding us to the ins and outs of all the most important places.
Every day we’ll be going to yet another magnificent place and each one is even more incredible than the last.
Every day is planned so beautifully so that we have the perfect combination of seeing the sites, connecting with the energy and having fun!
I took a trip to England and Paris a few years ago and found myself in the position of having to plan everything — the hotels, getting around, deciding where to go and how, where were we going to eat each day, etc., etc., etc. Even though I’m good at it, it was exhausting. It gave me a renewed appreciation for everything that Guardian Travel does and how over the past 14 years I’ve designed this trip so that it truly is the perfect spiritual tour of Egypt.
We even provide you with traveling companions! Don’t worry if you don’t have someone to travel with, our groups are typically in love with each other within 48 hours and make friendships that last a lifetime. It’s so wonderful to have these experiences with other like-minded adventurers.
Everything is completely taken care of — you can come and just focus on all the fun and the amazing transformations that will happen in this sacred place.
“I went to Egypt with Debra two years in a row, 2013 and 2014. The country is so amazing–the energy is so high and I’ve felt drawn to so many of the temples and sites. Guardian Travel is so wonderful and our tour guide made the trip unforgettable! I could go back year after year and still discover new things. I felt completely safe on both tours, the people were so warm and welcoming. All of the travel arrangements were perfect. We never waited for a bus to be there, meals were great, and everyone was always more than willing to help out with anything we needed or answer any questions. And I’ve made friendships that will last a lifetime. Don’t wait to sign up for this amazing tour!”
– Betty Ann Dean (that’s Betty Ann on the end in the red sweater)
If you have any questions about our trip, send me an email at: [email protected]
Or feel free to give me a call, toll-free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada)
Or Click here and I’ll call you – I love talking about Egypt!
SSA featured in Forbes Magazine “my Soul Adventure was a major turning point in my life”
I am so incredibly thrilled that Sedona Soul Adventures has been featured in an amazing article this week in the Forbes Magazine online blog. It’s entitled
Autumn is an amazing person. This year she launched a clothing company that is ethically based, utilizing women in India, Holland, Kenya and New York. But even after having this incredible success, she was still feeling an imbalance in her work life and personal life. As she says in the article, here she was in “a time of dreams coming true with the release of my collection”, but at the same time she “was also filled with anxiety, uncertainty, stress and tears”.
I started my business in pursuit of professional satisfaction that would also create a sense of personal happiness. I decided to follow my dream at all costs sacrificing so much to make it happen, so when my dreams started coming true I was supposed to be happy right? I was wrong. My life was out of balance and I was very unhappy.
I was focusing so much on my business that my personal life was suffering. I longed to achieve a work-life balance. But how? I am blessed beyond measure to do my passion as daily work, but also longed to feel that other side of life: friendship, love, children, fitness, personal travel and time to myself to just be, laugh and enjoy the world.
Lately, my life as an entrepreneur was becoming stifling. There was always so much to do, so many rejections to arrive at one yes, attempting to manage my interns while I was having trouble managing myself, my time and emotions.
I needed to reset. It was time to make an effort in my own life in order to break unhealthy patterns that were binding me both personally & professionally.
The Catalyst For Cure: A Sedona Soul Adventure
I booked a spiritual retreat with Sedona Soul Adventures because I wanted to experience something transformative. I could have gone to Sedona to spend time in nature, hike the red rocks, meditate in their stillness. But I loved the idea of connecting with individual practitioners over a 4-day period, who specialized in everything from reiki and hypnosis to sound therapy and bodywork/massage.
From Thursday To Monday I engaged in the following 7 sessions:
- Radiant Heart Healing – Learning to open the heart chakra & self-love techniques for healthier relationships.
- Nurturing Massage – Identifying chronic muscular body aches and releasing them through massage/bodywork.
- Healing The Relationship Wound – Looking at childhood wounds and beginning to heal them.
- Inner Journey With Breath and Sound- Breath and music meditations with a focus on chakra activation.
- Angelic Guidance – A psychic reading on a horse ranch just on the outskirts of Sedona.
- Yoga, Heart & Soul Transformation – Barefoot yoga session on Sedona’s red rocks with prayer and meditation for manifesting life shifts.
- Reiki & Hypnotherapy – Healing childhood wounds through visualization, mild hypnosis and reiki.
Through these sessions, I took a good look at my inner child, seeing how childhood wounds were affecting me as an adult. A realized the gravity of connecting to my center daily through meditation, yoga and exercise; and the importance of spending time in nature as the best healer. Being in NYC for over a decade I don’t think I realized how much that lack of nature was affecting me.
I think the most powerful tool of my Sedona Soul Adventure taught me was my intention to fix the perceived work/life imbalance, followed by my action to embark on the sessions needed for healing. These two tools used in tandem- intention followed by action- were symbols of my real openness to change. When you follow intention with action magical things happen.
All creative and entrepreneurial people understand the relationship between intention and action. In order to turn the invisible into the visible- to create something from an idea or inspiration- be it a business, change in one’s life, relationship, or health transformation you must first set the intention. Then that intention has to then be followed by action.
Intention without action means nothing. The overweight person who intends to start a new workout and plan but doesn’t follow that with action will remain overweight.
The workaholic who intends to find a work-life balance but doesn’t follow that intent with action, will see no change. I know my trip to Sedona will represent a major turning point in my life. For years I have had the intention of achieving this balance but done nothing to affect that change. My trip and investment in myself by taking a Soul Adventure represent my willingness to change. I feel some major changes coming. Watch this space.
Autumn Adeigbo is an ethical fashion advocate and entrepreneur. She is founder and creative director of her eponymous women’s wear label autumnadeigbo.com.
She came to us in November and had an incredible experience. She loved working with the individual practitioners and in the article she outlines what happened in each session. She especially discusses “seeing how childhood wounds were affecting me as an adult”. She had major healing and says her Soul Adventure was “a major turning point” in her life.
And if you would like to bring balance into your life, connect with us. Isn’t that what life is about, having balance? Even if we are having success in one area of our life, sometimes we can be out of whack in the other areas. The key is to have balance in all parts of our lives – physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Click below to connect with one of our Retreat Guides.
They’ll connect with you (or both of you, if it’s a couples retreat) in deep conversation. Then they’ll custom design the perfect retreat for you.
Or if you’d prefer, call us toll-free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada). For our friends outside the US and Canada call 01 928-204-5988 or click here and one of our Retreat Guides will call you.
Would you like to speak to someone today? We’re even open on Sundays, because we’re here for you.
Wishing you a week filled with balance,
Debra
Debra Stangl / Founder
Sedona Soul Adventures – Transforming Lives One Soul At A Time
(877) 204-3664
https://sedonasouladventures.com
Shelley says the Egypt trip was “soul searching” and “life changing” Join us Feb 11-25
If you have any other questions, please email me at:
[email protected]
or call me at (877) 204-3664
I love talking about Egypt!
What’s Your Reaction To These Monkeys? [What’s Your Reality?]
Richard and I just got back from our second honeymoon. We didn’t intend to take two honeymoons, but here’s what happened. My dear friend, Sylvia (who I first met when she did her Sedona Soul Adventure, and then did another one, then went on one of our group trips to Egypt and then moved to Sedona and years later became one of our amazing practitioners!), gave us the most incredible wedding present — a week at her timeshare that is in Spain on the Costa del Sol. What a fantastic present!
But the earliest we could get in was a month after the wedding, so we decided we couldn’t just go home after the wedding and do email, we needed to go somewhere right after the wedding. So we went to the Grand Caymans, which was absolutely beautiful and wonderful. But what felt like the real honeymoon was going to Spain and it was fantastic, being right on the Mediterranean (here’s us on our balcony) and seeing things like the Rock of Gibraltar, the Alhambra and spending a day in Morocco. Thank you, Sylvia!
Going to Gibraltar was so fascinating because it’s incredibly beautiful (it’s where the Mediterranean and the Atlantic come together), plus the people who live there are so interesting. Even though it’s attached to Spain, it has been a British colony since 1873, so everyone we talked with spoke with a British accent, yet they feel very much that they are a separate entity.
And then there’s the monkeys. There are wild monkeys in Gibraltar, over 300 of them and they belong to five different troops (isn’t that a great word?). They are considered the biggest tourist attraction in Gibraltar. They are protected and have a very interesting background. At times, humans tried to get rid of the monkeys to no avail. Now they are loved and protected and taken care of. Queen Elizabeth came to visit them in 1954 and they were even featured in a James Bond movie!
They show up all over the place, you never know where you are going to find one and they usually travel with a few of them together. When you visit Gibraltar, the guides tell you not to feed them and not to carry food where they will see it, as they are very good at coming up and grabbing it out of your hands.
During our time there we had a lot of fun watching the monkeys and watching people interact with the monkeys. People would get a little anxious if one of them jumped on them, but that typically only happened if someone was (illegally) feeding one monkey and another one would see it.
But I wasn’t prepared for these two young women (in their twenties), who were absolutely screaming frantically every time they saw a monkey. The two girls were in front of us in a line for the cable car that goes to the top of the Rock and three of the monkeys started walking in the large room where we were. Even though the monkeys were not even close to them and were rather small, both girls started screaming. The monkeys were not in any way doing anything to them, but the girls kept screaming. If one of the monkeys turned to the right, the girls would scream some more. Never at any time did the monkeys threaten them in any way, but the girls just kept screaming.
At first the other tourists who were around (including us) thought it was somewhat amusing because these girls were having such a huge reaction. Some of the tourists even stopped taking pictures of the monkeys and were taking pictures of the girls. But in a very short time, it became increasingly annoying. The girls wouldn’t stop screaming. People were trying to help them, they were telling them they were okay, they weren’t in any danger, but the girls kept screaming. They tried to get the girls to move out of the room, but the girls wouldn’t move. The monkeys didn’t do anything to them at any time, in fact, after a little while the monkeys didn’t like the screaming either and they left.
Luckily, they weren’t in our cable car and we didn’t see them (or hear them) again. I can’t imagine how they navigated the rest of their visit, as the monkeys are everywhere. Richard and I kept wondering why in the world they would come to such a place when everyone who comes here knows about the monkeys. And how could they be so terrified of something that wasn’t doing anything to them? The monkeys were just walking around being monkeys. They weren’t harassing anyone, they weren’t taking anyone’s food, they weren’t even connecting with the girls, the monkeys were trying to get away from the girls as they kept on screaming. The whole thing only lasted a few minutes, but it was very unnerving.
I don’t know the girls’ back story. Maybe both of them were attacked by monkeys as young children and so they have a phobia (the odds against that seem pretty high). Maybe someone told them that the monkeys would attack everyone. Maybe the girls wanted attention.
But I don’t think that’s it. They seemed to be genuinely terrified.
After being annoyed for a short time, I started wondering about what was going on. It amazed me that they were so afraid. It didn’t matter that people were helping them, the girls were refusing any offers of help. It didn’t matter that they could have walked away from the monkeys, the girls remained where the monkeys were. It didn’t matter that the monkeys weren’t doing anything to them – they still kept screaming.
And then I started thinking about everyone else’s reaction. The room was full of people and everyone had different reactions. The vast majority of the people were enjoying the monkeys, they would laugh as they struck a funny pose or looked particularly cute. Some of the people were actively trying to engage the monkeys, talking to them or giving them something to eat. Other people seemed a little skittish (especially as the two girls kept screaming), but no one else went into that level of upset.
It made me start to think about how we all react to something happening. Everyone in that room was reacting to the exact same thing, the same “stimuli” as my college professor would call it. The monkeys came in and they were being monkeys. They were walking, they were climbing, at one point they were grooming each other, they took food from people who were giving them food. They sat on the floor.
But the reactions to the monkeys were different for each person. Some people were laughing, some people were obviously having a lot of fun, a few people were a little anxious and the two girls were terrified and screaming.
Isn’t it interesting that different people can have so many different reactions to the exact same happening? I would have loved for every person in that room to have written a report of exactly what happened. The “reality” of what happened would have been different for almost everyone. Some people would have written that there were cute monkeys and the two girls would have probably written that “killer apes” had been unleashed.
And that’s the point because it wasn’t about the “reality”. It had nothing to do with the monkeys, it had to do with the person. It’s not about what’s happening on the outside [monkeys], it’s what’s happening on the inside — in this case it ran the gamut from joy, happiness and amusement to annoyance, fear, and terror.
We all pretty much have the same things happening to us — stuff going on with work, stuff going on with our relationships, stuff going on with our everyday lives. How are you reacting to all that? With joy or happiness or amusement or annoyance or fear or terror? What “reality” are you choosing?
And when something upsetting does happen, how do we deal with that? It was interesting to me that even when it was offered, the two girls refused help. They were terrified, they were screaming, people offered to help them, but they weren’t interested in getting help. They evidently just wanted to go on feeling badly.
We continued our tour and went to the top. Isn’t this view magnificent? At the top, we had a beautiful brunch and we sat next to two British couples who were talking about the two girls. They were not kind or compassionate, they just kept talking about why would these girls come to this place if they were that afraid of the monkeys?
I said to Richard, that’s another terrible part of what happens for most people when they’re experiencing problems in their lives — most other people don’t care and they wish you would just shut up about it!
Luckily, that’s not how we feel about it. After all these years of working with people, I know that our reactions are all different and they’re all the result of so many different things — our thoughts, our feelings, how we were raised, our wounds, our hurts, the “good” things that have happened to us, the “bad” things that had happened to us — there are so many factors. But the thing I know more than anything is that we can change our reactions and that also changes the reality of what happens to us.
Before I came to Sedona in 1999, I did a lot of what I call “stinkin’ thinkin’”. Even though I knew it wasn’t good for me, I simply didn’t know how to NOT do it. When I got to the root of what was causing that, everything changed. I changed my reactions, and my “reality” changed. My life changed.
How do you react? How is your “reality” showing up? Are you mostly experiencing joy, happiness and amusement or annoyance, fear, and terror?
You can change your reactions. And when you change your reactions, you can change your reality. That’s what we do, all day every day. People come here stressed out, burned out, having a particular problem in their life, or feeling lost and without purpose. They leave here, happy, content, knowing their life purpose and ready to live it. Couples come in crisis or having lost their sizzle – they leave with a deeper and firmer commitment and love for each other that they never dreamed was possible.
Would you like some of that? It’s my wish for you. Please connect with us and see how a Soul Adventures retreat can transform your life or relationship. Click below and connect with one of our Retreat Guides:
They’ll connect with you (or both of you, if it’s a couples retreat) in deep conversation. Then they’ll custom design the perfect retreat for you.
Or if you’d prefer, call us toll-free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada). For our friends outside the US and Canada call 01 928-204-5988 or click here and one of our Retreat Guides will call you.
Would you like to speak to someone today? We’re even open on Sundays, because we’re here for you.
Wishing you a week filled with new realities,
Debra
Debra Stangl / Founder
Sedona Soul Adventures – Transforming Lives One Soul At A Time
(877) 204-3664
https://sedonasouladventures.com
Regina says her Soul Adventure gave her a “different perspective” and she “had a true spiritual awakening” and she is “changed in so many ways”
“This adventure was so much more than expected! I went into this experience hoping to work some things out and walk away with a different perspective, and I am changed in so many ways! I gained so much more, and had a true spiritual awakening. This isn’t just a “break from the daily grind” but a very real adventure that will position you to dig beneath your layers and plant the seeds to grow into your truth. I am grateful to the staff at Sedona Soul Adventures and all the practitioners for creating a comfortable, safe, nurturing environment to do this work in. Just dive in, you will be glad you did!”
– Regina C., Atlanta, GA
Diane says “my soul has been enlightened” in Egypt. Join us Feb. 11-25
Click below to get all the information.
If you have any other questions, please email me at:
[email protected]
or call me at (877) 204-3664
I love talking about Egypt!