Are you giving (and receiving) what you need in your relationship?
If you have any issues going on in your relationship (and let’s face it, most of us do) I REALLY want you to watch this video. After being a divorce attorney for 20 years and working with couples here at Sedona Soul Adventures for over 17 years, I know that the #1 problem that most couples have is not communication – it’s the lack of nurturing each other…of getting what you need and giving what the other one needs. Watch this and you’ll see what I’m talking about.
Let us help you get back into the Nurturing Zone. Come to Sedona and do a Couples Retreat. Can you imagine how good it would feel to come back into the love and connection that brought you together in the first place?
Call us and connect with one of our Retreat Guides. They’ll connect with both of you separately and really dig deep to discover what’s keeping you out of the Nurturing Zone.
Then they’ll put together a retreat that’s custom designed for exactly what you need and want, and to bring you back into the love, connection and sizzle that you crave.
Or if you’d prefer, call us toll-free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada). For our friends outside the US and Canada, call 01 928-204-5988 or click here and one of our Retreat Guides will call you.
You might also like to download your free copy of our “Sedona Guide to Couples Retreats.” That will give you a real idea of what we do and how it works. But please — for the sake of your relationship, do something to get yourself back into the Nurturing Zone.
Sherri completes her 4th Retreat (!) her 2nd Couples Retreat, and says, “Every experience has been unique and special, and worth every penny!!!”
Today I’m going to talk to you about How to get what you want in your relationship. If you’ve been following me for a while, you probably already know that I was a divorce attorney in Omaha, Nebraska for over 20 years. And then in 2002, I started Sedona Soul Adventures, where we do retreats for individuals and couples. So I spent 20 years divorcing people, and now I’ve spent almost 20 years helping people stay together.
Our record for helping people with their relationships is absolutely stunning and it’s because we’re able to dig deep to get at the root of the problem, and sometimes the problem is not what either person thinks it is. A big piece of this is finding out what each of you need in your relationship and deciding if you are willing to give it to the other person?
We had a couple here last year and it was stunning. The husband had an affair and on the surface it looked like just one of the usual situations that sadly we see a lot of. They had grown apart and the husband, I’ll call him Mike, had an affair. Even though he said he loved his wife, I’ll call her Linda, and he adored their two children, the affair had happened and it had gone on longer than Mike had originally told Linda. Linda, of course, was devastated and really, really angry and felt like she could never trust him again. And of course, those reactions are completely natural.
Mike’s father was a womanizer and his mother left his father when he was very young. He and his mother went to live with relatives in a household that was basically full of men-hating women. Mike grew up hearing about how terrible men are, how you can’t trust them and they’re all womanizers, and he grew up afraid that he would be like that too. But he wasn’t, he’d been married for 20 years, had never had the urge to have an affair and was even saying to us over and over again, “I can’t believe I did that, I can’t believe I jeopardized my whole life” like that.
Linda grew up in a family where her mother constantly criticized her father and so Linda thought that’s how you communicate with a husband. You get him to do what you want by criticizing him.
We discovered through our process that the needs that Mike has are Words of Praise and Gifts.
At this point, this might sound to some of you like the Love Languages work that is out there, which I like, but what we do is very different and very specific for each person.
We discovered through our process that the needs that Linda has are Listening, Conversation and Protection.
Which also made sense because Linda’s mother also criticized Linda and her father would never stand up for her with her mother, so Linda grew up believing, “I have no one to protect me.”
So Linda needs a man who will talk to her and protect her. And we quickly discovered that Mike just simply wasn’t talking to her and really hadn’t been throughout their marriage and she was, quite understandably, upset about it. And of course, the affair was the ultimate betrayal, how could anyone feel protected by someone who had betrayed them?
Mike didn’t want to have a lot of conversations with Linda because she was constantly criticizing him. She thought she was “helping him” by telling him what to do and how to do it, but it all just felt like criticism to him and Linda got it, how it would feel like that to him.
So here we have a man whose most basic relationship need is Words of Praise and all he’s getting is Criticism. We have a woman whose most basic relationship need is Conversation and we have a man who won’t talk to her.
But then here’s the kicker:
When we discovered that Mike’s other need was Gifts, we asked him about that. He started tearing up as he told us that he never got gifts when he was growing up, not even for his birthday.
And guess who gives him gifts? The woman that he had an affair with. And guess what else she gave him? Words of Praise. His other deepest need. It wasn’t about sex, it was about him feeling valued.
When Mike and Linda realized they were living in this crazy, vicious cycle of he needs Words of Praise and she’s criticizing him, and she needs Conversation and he doesn’t want to talk to her because he doesn’t want to get criticized…and how this had much more to do with their childhoods than with what is going on now…and it’s just this crazy thing that keeps on happening and keeps on going back and forth until someone finally says, “STOP! Wait a minute. He needs Words of Praise and Gifts, are you willing to give that to him?”
And we say to him, “She needs conversation and protection, are you willing to give that to her?” It was harder for him to say yes, because they had 20 years of not really talking to each other. But when she saw him tear up over the gifts thing, her heart just melted. When he got that she was just doing what her mother had taught her to do, he got it. They both got it — that you have to give the other one what they need, not what you think they need, but what they need and want, you have to nurture them in what they need.
If you’re not willing to do that, you don’t have a relationship. And you certainly don’t have a relationship that’s going to last for very much longer.
Now understand, I’m not saying that what Mike did was okay, far from it. Having an affair is simply not okay, but when Linda understood all this, she really got it, her heart opened and she was able to forgive him and love him again.
So How about you?
Do you know what you want in a relationship? I’ve been surprised to discover that most people don’t.
Do you know (really) what your partner wants?
Do you care? That’s actually the most important one, because if you aren’t willing to give your partner what they want, things aren’t going to work.
Have you spent any time thinking about how your parents were with each other because that can be really telling.
Were they happy?
Were they loving with each other?
Did they talk?
Did they fight?
What did they teach you? (Even though they probably didn’t think they were teaching you.)
But even more deeply, how was your childhood?
Did you feel loved?
Did you feel valued?
Were you criticized?
Did you grow up believing there’s something wrong with you?
Sadly, for many of us, things happen to make us believe that we’re not enough, that we don’t deserve love and then we bring all that into our relationships and it comes out in all kinds of crazy ways, like having affairs and mistreating the person we’re supposed to love.
What do you really want?
What do you crave?
What do you need?
Come to Sedona and we’ll help you discover that and help move out the blocks that are keeping you from the loving relationship you desire. That’s what we do all day, every day with our custom-designed retreats.
What you need is probably different than what your partner needs. The blocks that have happened for you are the result of different things that caused the blocks for your partner. We’ll dig all that out and bring you into the love that’s waiting for you.
Go to SedonaRetreatGuide.com and get your complimentary copy of The Sedona Guide to Couples Retreats today.
Or even better, if you’d like to talk to someone about doing a retreat that’s custom designed for exactly what the two of you need, call us at 928/204-5988.
I hope this helped, and if you got value from this video, please take the time to like it, share it with someone in your life who think might get something out of it and subscribe to our channel.
You can have the life AND the relationship you want – I know it!
The “Fun” (Almost Magical) Way to Get Out of Debt
Last week I talked with you about what your debt says about you and gave you very important (but unfun) ways to get out of debt. It’s very good and we got a huge response from it (if you didn’t see it, click here).
Today I want to talk to you about the “fun” (almost magical) way to get out of debt and I’ll tell you the story of the day that $50,000 dropped out of the sky (it’s almost unbelievable, but it’s true).
Being in debt is so awful – it just crushes you, it feels like this giant weight that is constantly there and you think and worry and fret about it all the time. At least that’s what I did.
Find out how I turned that around and how you can too!
As I said last week, I want to be very careful about what I say to you about doing a Soul Adventure if you’re in debt. I don’t want to encourage you to be irresponsible, but as I talk about in this video, I was $50,000 in debt the first time I came to Sedona and it changed everything around for me.
Let’s explore this together:
Or if you’d prefer, call us toll-free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada). For our friends outside the US and Canada, call 01 928-204-5988 or click here and one of our Retreat Guides will call you.
In my last video, I spoke with you about being in debt. And I spoke with you about what that reflects in your life and what I called the Unfun ways of coming out of debt – important things that you can start doing that will start to help you right now:
- Spending less
- Paying off debt
- Saving more
Important, but sort of boring and not fun. But today I want to talk to you about Really Fun ways to get out of debt and change things around for your money situation.
Here’s where this gets very interesting and exciting. Because no matter what you’re telling yourself right now, you can control how you think and feel about money
And you can turn the energy around.
I spend a lot of time talking about this in my book, The Journey to Happy, and I want to encourage you to spend 99 cents to buy the Kindle version of my book – yes, now I’m talking to you about spending money, because it’s the best 99 cents you’ll ever spend, because it will help you understand these ideas more deeply.
What I talk about in my book is that one of the truths that Einstein discovered (and that Quantum Physics continues to prove) is that Everything is Energy. Even this desk, which feels so stable and strong, is – at its core – just a bunch of particles racing around.
Money is energy. Most people don’t believe that and don’t understand it, and that’s why they have so much trouble.
If everything is energy (and now we know it is), that means that everything is much more elastic, much more malleable, and much more possible to change than we think it is.
Quantum physics has also proven that.
Putting our attention on something in any way changes it.
So, if everything is energy and if putting our attention on something in any way changes it, that means we are all creating our reality in every moment.
What we focus on expands.
We get more of whatever it is that we think about and talk about.
If you’re in debt, you are probably like I was when I was deep in debt: Thinking about it all the time, worrying about it all the time.
Because I was thinking about it all the time and worrying about it all the time and talking about it all the time, I was getting more and more of it, no matter what I did.
But here’s the good news – because everything is energy and because putting our attention on something in any way changes it…
You are creating your reality in every moment.
That means: You can change the parts that you don’t like.
That is really great news! If you are creating your reality, that means that you can change the parts that you don’t like – the parts that aren’t making you happy.
The trick is, you need to learn how to flip the switch.
The easiest way to do that is to Stop THINKING about what you don’t want and Stop TALKING about what you don’t want.
When I was afraid about money, it could never come to me or if it came, something else came along after to take it away. It’s simple physics – you have to be in the same high Vibration as the money. If you’re fearful, frustrated and upset about money, it literally cannot come to you.
Which makes it pretty difficult, right, because when you’re in debt or your money situation isn’t the way you want it to be, if you’re like I was, you’re thinking about it all the time…obsessing about it all the time…worrying about it all the time. Which makes it impossible for it to come to you.
But if you can learn to go with the flow, magical things happen.
Let me tell you the story of what happened to me and the day that $50,000 dropped out of the sky…
When I first came to Sedona over 20 years ago, my entire life was a mess. I had just started my 20th year of law practice and I hated it, I was in an unhappy marriage, I weighed 40 pounds more than I do now, and I was $50,000 in debt due to some very bad business decisions.
I worried constantly about money. It was always on my mind. I would wake up in the morning and start worrying about it and I would go to bed worried about it. I was always fearful, frustrated and upset, so of course money couldn’t come to me.
During those five years, I spent a lot of time praying and meditating, saying, “God, I’m so unhappy! Please tell me what to do!” Almost every time I did that, I would hear a voice say, “You need to leave your law practice.” I would immediately respond, “I can’t do that! I’ve got a mortgage and two car payments! I’m the sole supporter and I’m $50,000 in debt! I CAN’T leave my law practice!”
So the last thing in the world I should have been spending money on at this point in my life was a spiritual retreat. But I put it on my credit card and I came.
I came to Sedona and did one session – and in that session my Higher self appeared to me and told me I had to leave my law practice or I was going to die. Well, this time I heard the message.
I went home and after two weeks of trying to figure out how I was possibly going to leave my law practice when I was $50,000 in debt, there was a day where something just happened. I was meditating and praying, and I just felt all the worry and concern just lift off me. I just felt it. I remember saying, “Ok God, I’m going to do this. I don’t know how I’m going to do this, but I’m going to do it, but I need some help.”
Within about 8 hours, a former client called to ask me some questions and at the end of the call told me he had just bought a new business refinancing mortgages. I asked him if he thought he could get my mortgage payment reduced. He took my address and called me back in 10 minutes and said, “I can get your mortgage payment cut in half and I can get you $50,000 in cash.”
Now I had never told him I was $50,000 in debt. He certainly didn’t know about my going into that high vibrational state where I just released the worry and concern. But suddenly, within a few hours, the worry and concern that had haunted me for five years was gone.
And ever since then, whenever I feel worried about money, I just stop.
Because I know these principles:
Whatever I’m afraid of, is coming faster.
Whatever I’m excited about, is coming faster.
If I’m afraid of not having enough money, I do everything I can to take myself out of that feeling, because I KNOW my fear is keeping the money away. In my other videos, I’ve given you lots of things you can do to bring yourself out of those energies, such as:
- Tapping
- Deep Breathing
- Change Your Story, Change Your Life
I never talk to people about not having enough money, I only talk about abundance.
You can use other little tricks like…
Listening to Music
Petting your pet
Going outside in the sunshine
Writing in your Gratitude Journal
The trick is getting there and staying there. But the key is all in these three simple steps:
1. Get happy
2. Stay happy
And in order to get happy and stay happy:
3. Don’t think about what you don’t want and don’t talk about what you don’t want
It all comes down to stop worrying about money.
Again, I know that’s much easier said than done, because I was someone who worried about it for years and years, but I’ll tell you, when you can stop worrying and instead start getting excited about what’s on the way, money will start to flow to you.
So do this: When you start to worry – stop and instead, think about how great it will be to have your money woes behind you, think about how fantastic it will feel to have your credit cards all paid, visualize your bank statement having a balance that is really large. Feel the feeling of what it feels like to have money in savings. Feel what it feels like to have all that worry off your shoulders. Start appreciating what you have and really feel that.
This is so deceptively simple. It’s simple, I know it’s not easy, because I’ve been there through those sleepless nights, but I will tell you, when you flip the switch — and you can tell when that’s happening — miracles can actually happen.
I hope this helped, and if you got value from this video, please take the time to like it, share it with someone in your life who think might get something out of it and subscribe to our channel.
And If you want an even more direct path to dealing you’re your money issues, I’m going to say to you – think about doing a Soul Adventure. Money blocks for most people are huge and go way back and run deep. I don’t want you to be irresponsible, but look at what happened to me – I came here and $50,000 dropped out of the sky three weeks later.
I can’t tell you the number of people who have come here and gone home, and gotten the job of their dreams and had their entire life change around. You need to listen to your own guidance, but you may want to just start exploring the possibilities. Excited expectation is the key to all of this. Go to SedonaRetreatGuide.com and get your complimentary copy of The Sedona Guide to Spiritual Retreats today.
Or if you’d like to talk to someone about doing a retreat that can turn your life around call us at (928) 204-5988.
You can have the life AND the relationship you want – I know it!
What Your Debt Says About You
Twenty years ago, like many other Americans, I was drowning in debt. And it was really crazy because I was an attorney making a good income, but I didn’t know what was REALLY causing the problem.
In this video and the next, I’m talking to you about what money problems mean and what you can start to do to turn that around. So if you don’t have all the abundance you’re looking for in your life, you may want to take a listen.
This week I talk about what I call the “Unfun” ways to start getting out of debt and next week I’ll be talking about the “Fun” (even magical!) ways that turned everything around for me. Stay tuned!
I want to be very careful about what I say to you about doing a Soul Adventure if you’re in debt. I don’t want to encourage you to be irresponsible, but as I talk about in the video, I was $50,000 in debt the first time I came to Sedona and look what happened! Sometimes you just have to hit the restart button.
Let’s explore this together:
Or if you’d prefer, call us toll-free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada). For our friends outside the US and Canada, call 01 928-204-5988 or click here and one of our Retreat Guides will call you.
Today I’m talking to you about What Your Debt Says About You.
Let me ask you first off, does even that title make you flinch? If so, you’ve got a problem and you need to look at it.
So let me tell you some things that I have found in my own life and with working with people for over 40 years.
When we’re talking about money or debt or Abundance or however you want to frame it, here are my thoughts:
Money is a reflection of other things going on in your life.
Money problems reflect other problems
If you’re embarrassed to talk about money, then there’s usually a problem.
Are you a saver?
Are you a spender?
Both of those reflect two sides of the same coin.
So now I’m going to say the thing that will have you either continuing to listen or to pop off to something else, but before you pop off, this might be really important.
If you have debt that is beyond just your mortgage and your car, you are living your life unconsciously and you need to do something about it.
Now before you react, please understand, this is coming from someone who used to be in deep debt. I used to rob Peter to pay Paul, I was continually opening new credit card accounts and transferring balances at 0 percent interest and then moving it to another credit card a few months later. I’ve been here, I know what it feels like to wake up in the morning and to immediately start worrying about money – it’s one of the most horrible things in the world.
Also, please understand that I get how our modern society is completely set up for you to be in debt. Credit card companies are preying on kids who aren’t even working, the messages that you get all the time are, “Buy now, pay later,” that’s how our modern society has set you up.
So if you are someone who does not have debt beyond your mortgage or car, I want to really congratulate you. This means you are living your life consciously in this area of your life.
This is very interesting and something you should look at. If you find that you have other areas of your life that aren’t working as well, you might want to take a moment to get conscious about what you’re doing around money that’s working, and then extend that to this other area that’s not working so well.
For example, if your money situation is good, but you’re severely overweight, you may want to look at that. With money, you have self control, you are able to put off instant gratification. Are you able to do that with food? You may want to look at why it’s working for you in one area but not in another. What could you do to bring empowerment into that area? How can you make it work for you?
Let’s go back to what’s happening if you find yourself in debt, especially if you find yourself in a lot of debt.
Here’s The Good News: This is something that you have control over. This is not like something that you find out about that you have no control over, this is something that you can control. It might not feel like that right now, in fact it probably doesn’t feel like that right now, because when you’re drowning it feels horrible. But when I say you have control, I’m actually talking about two things…
And I’m going to talk about the “Unfun one” first and the really “Fun one” second, so stick with me.
Here’s the Unfun one:
You have control over the basic parts of this – how much you spend, how much you save and what you do with your money.
And don’t tell me, “Debra, I don’t have any control over how much I spend. I don’t have any extra money.” I’d be willing to bet that if I actually sat down with you and went over everything that you spend money on, that if you allowed me to be ruthless with your life, which is what I would be, I’d be able to find hundreds of dollars that you’re spending each month that you don’t absolutely need to spend.
How do I know that? Because I’ve done it lots and lots of times in working with people. I have been absolutely amazed and flabbergasted to talk to people and find out that they are tens of thousands of dollars in credit card debt and then I can see, even without asking, that they…
- Have a very expensive mobile phone
- Wear acrylic nails (which is expensive to maintain)
- And very often, they are holding a Starbucks cup of frappuccino or mochaccino that they drink twice a day
And as we start talking, I find out that they:
- Have a large cable bill and watch a lot of TV
- Are going out for a very large percentage of their meals
Why are they doing all these things?
Because our culture is telling us that you have to have a smart phone – no you don’t, you just need a phone where you can call and text people if you have an emergency and those phones and those plans are very inexpensive.
Our culture has somehow convinced that it’s normal to pay $5 for a cup of coffee.
There was a very wonderful commercial on TV a few years ago where 4 or 5 people, who are obviously living in the 1970s, are sitting around drinking coffee and they say, “Wow this coffee tastes so good. You know, we could open a special coffee shop and make our special coffee and charge people $5 a cup.” And then suddenly, everyone laughs and says, “That would never work, no one is ever going to pay $5 for a cup of coffee!”
Well, fast forward to today and guess what?
Now I’m not saying don’t go to Starbucks or other coffee shops. I’m saying don’t spend $5 on a cappuccino every day if you’re $50,000 in debt. You can make coffee at home for a few cents.
So let me ask you a few more un-fun questions:
How much are you spending on Cable?
How much are you spending on your phone?
Ladies, how much are you spending on your nails or hair?
How much are you spending on dining out?
This is probably the biggest one that you can look at, change and control. When I was growing up, and I don’t want to completely sound like an old person here, but I can literally remember all the times my family went out for dinner. It was that rare. And part of it was that we had six kids and we were all very rambunctious as my mother used to say, but my parents wouldn’t even consider taking us all out for dinner as a regular thing. We never even went to McDonald’s. And I mean never, not once. The few times we did go out, it was such an incredible treat, we even dressed up.
Now, many Americans report they go out for dinner 2-3 times per week. It’s gotten crazy from a money standpoint, but it’s also gotten crazy from a health standpoint, because it’s also contributing to the overweight and diabetes crisis that is happening in our country.
So Step 1: If you are in debt, look ruthlessly at your life and lower these amounts that you’re spending on your phone, your cable, dining out, and other unnecessary expenses, and start taking that money to start paying off your bills.
That’s the Unfun way to get out of debt – it’s important, it’s the stuff you need to do, but watch for my next video where I’m talking to you about the Fun Way to Get Out of Debt.
I hope this helped, and if you got value from this video, please take the time to like it, share it with someone in your life who think might get something out of it, subscribe to our channel.
And I still want to talk to you about doing a Soul Adventure retreat, because that can really change everything around for you. Of course, I don’t want you to be irresponsible, but the first time I came to Sedona I was $50,000 in debt and three weeks after I left Sedona $50,000 virtually dropped out of the sky and into my lap – I’ll tell you about that in my next video.
To get more information, go to SedonaRetreatGuide.com and get your complimentary copy of The Sedona Guide to Spiritual Retreats today.
Or if you’d like to talk to someone about doing a retreat that’s custom designed for you call us at (928) 204-5988.
You can have the life AND the relationship you want – I know it.
Announcing our Peru trip June 16-29
“The Peru trip was the best experience I have ever had.”
– Kerry Grant
We haven’t even officially announced it (it’s just been up on our website), but already 5 people have signed up for the trip!! It’s kind of amazing — the 2020 Egypt trip sold out in about two weeks, is that what will happen with this trip?
Why is it so fantastic? Here are just a few of the reasons:
- Jorge – We are in Peru for 2 weeks with our incredible shaman and guide, Jorge Luis Delgado. Every year people say that they feel sorry for people who go to Peru without being with Jorge. It’s just not the same experience.
- Life-changing – The ceremonies, being with Jorge, being with other like-minded people, is transformational and life-changing.
- Everything is taken care of for you. I’ve been doing this trip since 2004 and I have to say, it’s pretty much perfect. We have everything meticulously planned and flawlessly executed. You don’t have to think about anything, just the transformations you’re having. We handle everything else.
- Traveling with other like-minded adventurers adds such a depth to this trip, making friendships that last a lifetime.
- We see parts of Peru that other tourists don’t see. We see the important places in Peru — Machu Picchu, Ollantaytambo, Lake Titicaca, Pisac, the Sacred Valley — but Jorge also takes us to out of the way places that the typical tourist doesn’t see. In particular the Doorway of Aramu Muru, which was discovered by Jorge (and which he discusses in his book “Andean Awakenings”).
- We are at Machu Picchu for three days – this is important because of the changes. So many other tours only go to Machu Picchu for one day, which I find totally amazing. They take the train, run around for a few hours and leave. Let me tell you, that is NOT the way to experience Machu Picchu.
Before last year, your ticket allowed you to be at Machu Picchu all day. Now, the Peruvian government has changed it so that you are there in the morning or the afternoon, you are not allowed to be there all day.
The next day, we will get up at dawn to be there at 6 am so that we can do sunrise ceremony. The next day we will also get up as early as possible so that we can spend the entire morning there. We want everyone to be able to luxuriate in their experience of Machu Picchu.
- We have so much fun! We do so many amazing, incredible, fun things, in addition to all the beautiful and uplifting spiritual things we do. The shopping is incredible. We go to one of my favorite restaurants in the world, Indio Feliz in Aguas Calientes, and we see so many special places, including the compound and workshop of Seminario, a world famous master of ceramics. He’s a dear friend of Jorge’s and we get to visit with him on almost every trip.
Download our beautiful “Machu Picchu & Sacred Peru” Report
Read all about Peru and its sacred sites, Machu Picchu, Ollantaytambo, Pisac, Lake Titicaca, the Sacred Valley and more. Get a feel for the amazing places, the people and the country itself.
Click here for all the info on the trip, including pricing.
And then I hope you’ll decide to join me on this amazing trip.
Questions? Email me at [email protected] or
call me at (877) 204-3664. I love talking about Peru!
Our 2 Year Wedding Anniversary!
Our 2 year wedding anniversary is tomorrow, October 7. I’m so happy we were able to get married surrounded by the beautiful red rocks of Sedona and family and friends (we were limited to 40 guests for the wedding, so later that evening we had a huge bash that included all of our friends).
I can hardly believe it’s been 2 years! So much has happened in the past 2 years – most of it absolutely wonderful and some of it painfully sad.
It’s incredible to me that in the past 2 years we’ve lost three of our beautiful fur babies – first Richard’s dog, Prancer, 2 years ago, then my sweet Katie Kat last year and my beautiful, amazing Daisy this year.
Richard and I still talk about how we can’t believe they’re gone.
We still have our sweet Missy and she is so adorable (and we definitely feel their presence at certain times). This photo was taken shortly after Richard moved to Sedona; that’s Daisy the Golden Retriever on the left, Missy the Labradoodle in the middle and Prancer on the right.
But the most joyous thing has been that Richard is such a true partner. In our wedding ceremony, there was a portion added that I knew nothing about beforehand. My two dear friends, Ranjita and Yana, officiated the wedding. Eighteen years prior to that, I attended a Couples Workshop by Ranjita and during that workshop, one of the men said to his partner, “I’ve got your back.”
That day and throughout the years, Ranjita and I were constantly referencing that and talking about wanting to find a man who would “have our back.” Shortly after Richard and I connected, we were talking about something and he suddenly said “I’ve got your back, baby.” I couldn’t wait to get off the phone to tell Ranjita!
So she incorporated that into the ceremony, with us making the pledge to each other to always have each other’s back (the funniest part was that we were unprepared for this, she had us leaning against each other, we were on slick grass, I was wearing high heels and we both felt throughout this part of the ceremony that we were about to fall over, which would not have been the most auspicious start!).
And throughout these past two years, Richard has constantly been showing me how he has my back (and I hope he feels that way about me as well).
It is also such a dream come true that he has become such a support for me with Sedona Soul Adventures. With his extensive business background in Silicon Valley and his love of what we do, he’s just the perfect partner. He’s been to Peru with me three times and Egypt twice.
When I was preparing to write this, I went back and found the email I sent 2 years ago saying, “I got married yesterday.” What a blast from the past! I enjoyed reading it so much, I’ve included it below if you’d like to read it. I talk about how incredible it was that we even met in the first place and I included the poem that Richard had written, “735” (which is the number of miles between Sedona and San Jose, where he was living when we met).
Richard read the poem at our wedding and one of our clients who had been on the Peru trip with us that year and had done a Soul Adventure, got inspired after she read the poem in the newsletter and did a multimedia piece for us as a wedding gift entitled “735.”It includes the poem, a map between San Jose and Sedona, and beautiful colors. This photo doesn’t do it justice. It’s so beautiful and we have it hanging in the feng shui relationship corner in our home. Thanks again, Stephanie!
To finally be in a happy, joyous, amazing relationship at this stage of my life is almost unbelievable. And don’t get me wrong, we still have our stuff. We see some of our Sedona Soul Adventures Practitioners regularly because we always want to stay on top of everything. We want to make sure we’re doing everything we can to make this love and joy last and to be operating at the highest vibration.
Do we do it all the time? No, but we’re trying really hard in a wonderful way.
A few years ago, I was starting to believe that maybe this wasn’t possible, but I’m so happy to have found out that it is.
I wish all of you that kind of joy and love in your lives,
Debra
And here’s the newsletter from 2 years ago:
I got married yesterday in the beautiful Red Rocks of Sedona. My whole family was there and it was so incredibly beautiful. At least, I’m assuming it was. I wrote this on Monday, because I won’t have any time to write this once everyone starts arriving on Thursday. This photo was taken at our photo shoot on Thursday out in the beautiful Red Rocks of Sedona (Cathedral Rock, to be precise).
But the part I can say without any question is how amazed, surprised and happy I am about everything, and how incredible this whole thing has been. And I have to say it’s all because of Sedona Soul Adventures that this thing has happened at all.
After my divorce 7 years ago, I was hurting and really at a low point in my life. I was amazed that even after all the spiritual work I’ve done over the years, I was still having feelings of “not enough.” I was having thoughts of, “Is there something wrong with me?”, “Why wasn’t I able to make the marriage work?” and all that stinkin’ thinkin’ that goes with all that. I was stunned, because I thought I had dealt with all that sort of stuff a long time ago.
But you know, these core wounds run deep. They go back to our childhoods and some threads are even deeper than that, going back to past lives and beyond. Luckily for me, I had my amazing practitioners to help me. I practice what I preach. I know from 15 years with Sedona Soul Adventures that everything can be turned around. It’s not necessary to stay stuck or to stay unhappy. So I dove in, just like I tell people who come to do a Soul Adventure to do.
I discovered I still had some deep wounds from my childhood and from my past marriage. Isn’t it so interesting how that stuff just comes out in layers? Think onions… and at each layer one cries from the release of that stuck energy of the past. I did a number of very intense sessions with many of my practitioners, some of the deepest work I’ve ever done in my life. It was so liberating to come out of the other end of that.
But the best part was that I emerged from all that happy and whole (not perfect – we never reach that – but grounded and secure in the knowledge that I WAS enough). And I see now that’s what set everything in motion for love to come back into my life. If Richard and I had connected 7 years ago, I’m sure this wouldn’t have worked out. I just wasn’t in the space that you need to be in for a healthy relationship to come in and stay.
But when we connected, we were both in that happy and whole space. And it’s so interesting to me, that Richard and I should never have connected in the first place. We both had been on Match.com for a long time and I had made the decision over 2 years ago that if someone contacted me who was more than a two hour drive away that I wasn’t interested. I had done a long distance relationship 3 years ago and it was just too difficult. So if someone contacted me who was far away, I simply wouldn’t respond to them. At first that felt a little rude, but if I did respond to people that I wasn’t interested in a long distance relationship, that would always start this back and forth of them saying, “Oh come on,” “We can make it work,” etc. So I just didn’t respond at all, because I avoided all that.
Then last year I was sitting in the Hotel Casa Del Mar in Santa Monica with my sister watching another gorgeous Southern California sunset and drinking champagne. We were celebrating my book having reached Amazon #1 Bestseller, plus my sister loves sunsets. Suddenly I got a ping on my phone from Match. Richard had seen me on Match and he “liked” me. I saw his picture and his beautiful blue eyes, and then I read his profile. I loved what I saw, especially the way he spoke about his work and when he was speaking about his spiritual life and how important that was to him, I had a real reaction. But then I saw that he was from San Jose, California and my heart sank. I showed his picture to my sister and she said, “Cute!” I thought to myself, “This one I’m not going to be rude to” and I wrote him a message that said, “You look great, but you’re in San Jose.” I thought that would be the end of it.
Instead, he wrote back, “I know, I saw the potentially insurmountable distance. But I saw your picture and I see what you’re doing in the world and I just want you to know there’s someone out here who appreciates who you are.”
Wow.
I showed his response to my sister and she said “Good answer!”
We texted back and forth a little and then I told him I was visiting my family and we should talk next week. He called me the following week and that started the talking, texting and Skyping that went on for six weeks before he came to Sedona to visit me. Shortly after we were together for the first time, he wrote a poem called “735,” because it’s 735 miles between San Jose and Sedona. We read the poem at our wedding. He’s given me permission to share it with you.
735
Seven-hundred-thirty-five miles is a long way
They said
To travel so far to meet her
I was reminded that after hundreds of lifetimes
With and without her
With a hundred decades between our last love meeting
We have both come so far on our separate paths
Weaving, bobbing in-and-out of our crusted, heavy worlds
Falling, rising, drowning in our own lives only to surface again
To find each other
Finally
Deeply
Forever, again
735 miles was nothing
~ 2-9-17 RMK
I feel so blessed. I feel so happy. I’m so full of love that I want everyone to have that and share it. One of our gifts from my bridal shower was a couples massage and we did that last Tuesday. As I was leaving, one of the women there who had been helping us all evening said to me, “I wish you every happiness and you give me hope that I could find a relationship again.” It’s been so amazing how many people have said that to both of us and we love that so much. We want to give people that hope. We feel blessed to be able to inspire others to reach for their hearts-desires.
Whether you’re looking for love or for happiness and wholeness, please do something to make that happen. Do what I did – come here and work with our practitioners. They are masters and they can help you.
Connect with us and speak with one of our Retreat Guides. They’ll know if in a very short period of time how we can help you.
Or if you’d prefer, call us toll-free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada). For our friends outside the US and Canada call 01 928-204-5988 or click here and one of our Guides will call you.
Wishing you a week filled with love, connection and laughter,
Debra