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How to do a Negativity Detox

Did you know that scientific studies (including one at Yale) show that being positive is more important for living longer than:

  • Cholesterol levels
  • Weight 
  • Smoking
  • Blood pressure
  • Exercise

Watch my video and learn how to do a Negativity Detox.

I hope this helped, but I also know that sometimes we’re in such a negative spiral that we absolutely have to have some help. That was my situation when I came to Sedona 21 years ago – every part of my life was a mess. And thinking positive thoughts (which I was trying to do), just wasn’t cutting it; things were just continuing to get worse. I needed help and that’s why I came to Sedona all those years ago.

Maybe a trip to Sedona could help you. What a perfect way to really get this year going. Call us. We’re masters at getting to the root causes of what’s causing your negativity, moving it out and bringing you back into Connection, to live in Love and Joy and Harmony. And it just might help you live longer.

Call us right now (we’re even open on Sundays because we’re here for you). We’ll connect with you and then we’ll custom design a retreat that’s perfect for exactly what you need to start moving you back into positivity. Click below and we’ll call you.

i want my transformation

Or if you’d prefer, call us toll-free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada). For our friends outside the US and Canada, call 01 928-204-5988 or click here and one of our Retreat Guides will call you.

Karen says her “magical and mystical” Soul Adventure “was definitely a 10” and gave her a “positive perspective”

“My experience with Sedona Soul Adventures was definitely a 10. My work with the different practitioners allowed me to achieve a positive perspective of my life, the challenges that I had faced in the past few years, and let go of the feeling of loss that I had been carrying. It was a very enlightening and comforting experience from start to finish. The whole interaction with Sedona Soul Adventures was great – from the description of what an individualized experience could be on the website, to the first phone interaction when I called. Everything was just what I had hoped for. I felt very nurtured and cared for. It was just as magical and mystical an experience as I had hoped to find in Sedona.” 
~ Karen H. 

Laura says, “My trip to Peru was a life-altering experience. My heart has expanded to new levels. I am so open and the feeling is other worldly.

“My trip to Peru was a life-altering experience thanks to the efforts of Debra, as well as an amazing group of sacred travelers. The universe is such a powerful place. I find it truly amazing how much coordination and dedication it takes to have so many pieces come together to create such a perfect moment in my life. I feel blessed to have been a part of that moment in time as it opened a whole new portal in my life. I cannot begin to express my gratitude. This is an excerpt of an email I sent to one of my best friends after the trip: I laughed. I cried. I was awed. I experienced new dimensions. I felt love and gave love. My gratitude is endless. I feel fortunate to have experienced the Andes Mountains and people. My heart has expanded to new levels. I am so open and the feeling is other worldly. I have made amazing friends. The group, the leaders and the guide were all amazing teachers. I cannot wait to share everything with you.
~ Laura McConnell

Today I want to challenge you to do a Negativity Detox. 

Everybody is always talking about doing a detox from sugar, a detox from carbs or a liver detox, and those are great if they make you feel better – but I’m talking about a detox that will not only make you feel better, but there are scientific studies that show it could help you live longer.

And that’s what a Negativity Detox does – taking 30 days to identify and eliminate all the negativity in your life. It can be a daunting but very exciting task, and I really want to invite you to give it a try. If you do it for 30 days, you could be on the road to a happier, healthier and longer life. 

And I’m saying that because there are so many studies out there on this, but one of my favorite ones is a study at Yale University. The study followed 660 people for up to 23 years that were aged 50 and older. The ones who had a more positive outlook about getting older lived 7 years longer than those who had a negative outlook about it. 

But here’s my favorite part: the Positive Attitude had a greater impact than… 

  • Cholesterol levels
  • Weight
  • Smoking
  • Blood pressure
  • Exercise

All the things that everyone tells us to be worried about. People need to be more worried about not being so worried and not being so negative all the time. 

So how do you go about doing this? 

First, you need to know about your thoughts. According to the National Science Foundation, an average person has about 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. Of those, 80% are negative and 95% are repetitive thoughts. So if you’re like most people, you’re thinking the same negative thoughts over and over again. 

That’s what’s causing all the problems and that’s where the Negativity Detox comes in. If you want to change it, you’ve got to do something about it – you need to do something to interrupt that pattern. 

So how do you do a Negativity Detox?

The idea is to eliminate as much negativity as you can from your life. And it starts with YOU. What type of person are you naturally? Are you a “the cup is half empty” or “the cup is half full” kind of person? 

If you’re a “the cup is half full” person, you’ve got a leg up. If you’re a “the cup is half empty” person, the key is turning that around, to flip the switch.

So, just for the next 30 days, decide to react positively no matter what the situation. It can help to decide on a phrase that you automatically tell yourself when something happens that you would normally react negatively to. Something like, “Wow, that’s interesting,” or if it’s something with a person, it could be something like, “Gosh, I wonder what’s going on with them?” Come up with a phrase that works for you that you can start using automatically. 

It’s about dropping the judgment and the automatic reaction. So if someone cuts in front of you in traffic, instead of getting all angry and flipping them off, you have your prepared statement, “Wow, that’s interesting, I wonder what’s going on with them?” Can you see how that would help if you did that every single time for the next 30 days?

If you’re having negative thoughts about yourself or your life, have another statement for that: If you find yourself thinking, “My life sucks,” immediately say or think to yourself your prepared statement, something like, “Wow, isn’t it interesting how these thoughts come in?” And then try to think about something that makes you feel better, like your dog or cat or grandbaby or a funny movie, ANYTHING that can bring you into thinking something more positive. 

How do you get out of bed in the morning? Do you lie there and think, “Oh my God, I can’t even drag myself out of bed,” or do you immediately start thinking about all the 10 million things you have to do today?  

How about coming up with a different way to start your day, just for the next 30 days? Would it help you to literally jump out of bed and say, “Wow, another great day!”? Would it help you to get up 15 minutes early and meditate, exercise or do something (anything) that would be guaranteed to make you feel good? Think of a way to change your pattern in the morning, get up differently, feel differently, do things differently, put your pants on with a different leg first… things that tell your brain you’re doing things differently. 

And then, are there people or situations that are just always negative for you? If so, can you simply avoid these people or places for the next 30 days? 

Of course there are some places you can’t avoid, like your workplace.  

How is the atmosphere there? If it’s really toxic, is it possible for you to speak with your co-workers or a supervisor and talk about ways that your workplace could be a happier place to be in?

If there are people or situations there that bug you, have your prepared statement, “Wow, that’s interesting” or “Gosh, I wonder what’s going on with them.” If you keep that up for even three days, I think you’ll be amazed at what happens when you don’t allow yourself to go into the automatic response you’re so used to. 

If you feel really industrious, I want to invite you to keep a journal about this. You might start each day bounding out of bed and decide to do a gratitude journal. Take three minutes to write down what you’re grateful for – you could even write down positive things about that coworker who bugs you, something like, “She is smart and knows what she’s doing.” And then at the end of the day, journal about how the day went. Give yourself permission to not be perfect; you’re already wired to think thousands of negative thoughts per day, you’re not going to stop them all at once, but just start noticing how you’re thinking more positively and feeling a little better. 

Do this for 30 days and see how you feel. See if you’re thinking and feeling differently about things. If so, keep on incorporating that into your life. 

And sometimes we find ourselves in a negative spiral that even positive thinking can’t help. For some people, it’s from trauma they’ve suffered in the past. For some people, they’ve grown up in an atmosphere where nothing they did was right, they were criticized constantly and it led to them feeling negatively about everything. Unless and until you clear this stuff out, it’s probably always going to be with you. That’s when you might want to think about doing a retreat with us. My life was in a downward, negative spiral until I came to Sedona and worked with the amazing practitioners who are here. We’re masters at getting to the root causes of what’s causing your negativity, moving it out and bringing you back into connection, to live in love and joy and harmony.

I hope this helped, and if you got value from this video, please like, share the video with someone you think might get something out of it and subscribe to our channel

And if you’d like more information, go to SedonaRetreatGuide.com and get your complimentary copy of The Sedona Guide to Spiritual Retreats today.

Or if you’d like to talk to someone about doing a retreat that’s custom designed for you call us at (928) 204-5988.

You can have the life  AND the relationship you want – I know it.

Get uplifted, watch “It’s A Wonderful Life”

Merry Christmas! Almost! Wow, it’s here again! 

I’m wishing you a wonderful, fabulous happy Christmas and I want to tell you again (I say this to everyone every year), please, please, please watch “It’s A Wonderful Life,” the movie with Jimmy Stewart during this holiday season. 

It is such an incredible parable of how we can go from hating our lives to total gratitude and love in an instant.

We all know that real happiness comes from living a life that matters — that includes love, connection and service. And for so much of it, all we have to do is shift our thinking around. Just like Jimmy Stewart does in the movie.

 
 
 
How about you? Are you looking for a Christmas miracle? Does your life seem small and insignificant? Are you ready to make the change so that you’re living the life you want? I first came to Sedona when I was in the depths of despair and it changed everything.

Connect with one of our Angel Guides — they’ll tune into you and get to the heart of what’s holding you back in your life or your relationship. Then they’ll custom design a retreat to take you from where you are to where you want to be.
i want my transformation

Or if you’d prefer, call us toll free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada). For our friends outside the US and Canada call 01 928-204-5988 or click here and one of our Angel Guides will call you. Remember, we’re even open on Sundays, because we’re here for you.

Wishing you the most amazing Christmas ever, where you understand the deep significance of who you are.

Many blessings,
Debra

It’s Christmas and one of the Christmas traditions that I’ve had for many years is to watch the movie “It’s a Wonderful Life” each year. If you don’t do that, or especially if you’ve never seen the movie, you have to see it and I hope you’ll watch it again. There are 2 reasons why I want you to watch it or watch it again… 
Because it will make you feel good. It will fill you with Christmas cheer. It will make you laugh and it will make you cry, but mainly it will just make you feel good and that’s what all of this is all about. 
 
But here’s the other reason why I want you to watch it – it’s because of the backstory and of what happened with the movie and why it’s such a wonderful story about second chances. 
 
The movie came out in 1946, the year after the end of the second World War. It stars Jimmy Stewart, a very famous Hollywood actor and he was just back from serving as a pilot in the war. It was directed by Frank Capra, a very famous Hollywood director who also served in World War II. 
 
It’s the story of George Bailey, a small town boy who has dreams of traveling the world, but when his father dies unexpectedly, he has to take over the family business, a savings and loan company that makes home loans for people who don’t have a lot of money. 
He falls in love, gets married and has children, but he always feels he never really got to live the life he wanted. Then his uncle loses some of the savings and loan money, and George is faced with ruin.
It’s so seriously awful that he’s thinking about suicide, he’s about to jump off a bridge, when an angel is sent down from heaven to help him. The angel jumps in first and George saves him, and then the angel shows George how life in their small town would have been without him.
George sees the incredible impact he’s had on the lives of so many people and he truly appreciates all the love he has in his life. His life is saved but even more than that, it’s completely renewed. He has a second chance at his life. 
 
The movie came out and it was a flop. It got mixed reviews and very little box office time. It went into that place of the forgotten movie. And then a weird thing happened – the copyright lapsed and the movie went into the public domain. That meant television stations could show it, at no cost. Suddenly this once-forgotten movie started to be shown every year at Christmas and for many people, myself included, it’s a Christmas tradition each and every year. 
 
Both Jimmy Steward and Frank Capra always said it was their favorite film they had ever made. 
 
So just like George Bailey in the story, the movie got its own second chance and is now a beloved classic. 
 
Isn’t that amazing? Isn’t it a wonderful Christmas story to know that even if we’re in the pit of despair like George was, we can have a second chance?
All it takes it to look around and appreciate what we have, to recognize the love that we have in our lives. 
 
So please, watch the movie, feel the love and I hope you have a very merry and joy-filled Christmas.   

I hope this video makes you feel a little happier and if it did, please like, share the video with your friends and subscribe to our channel.
And if you want a more direct path to getting and staying happy – then go to SedonaRetreatGuide.com and get your complimentary copy of The Sedona Guide to Couples Retreats today.
Or if you’d like to talk to someone about doing a retreat that’s custom designed for you call us at 928/204-5988.
You can have the life AND the relationship you want – I know it.

How To Create Peace In Your Life

The holiday season is supposed to be the Season of Peace, but really?? And from what most people say to me, “peace” is something they crave, but have a lot of difficulty finding.

So here’s an early Christmas present — the gift of Peace. Some really practical ways to bring more peace into your life right now — just in time for the holidays.

Sometimes meditating and slowing down aren’t enough to really bring you into the Peace you’re craving. Sometimes there’s lots more going on that just needs to be cleared once and for all to bring you back into the connection that fosters that Peace. If that’s the case, think about giving yourself the perfect Christmas gift — the gift of taking care of yourself with a Sedona Soul Adventures retreat. Call us and speak with one of our Retreat Guides. They’ll dig deep to see where the blocks are in your life or your relationship, and custom design a retreat that will take you into the Peace you’re craving.

i want my transformation

Or if you’d prefer, call us toll-free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada). For our friends outside the US and Canada call 01 928-204-5988 or click here and one of our Retreat Guides will call you.

Would you like to speak to someone today? We’re even open on Sundays, because we’re here for you.

Diane says after her Soul Adventure: “I never imagined I would be feeling so much peace and joy and love”

“I still cannot really describe into words the experience I had, not only with Sedona Soul Adventures, but also with Sedona itself. All I can say is that I never imagined that after such a process, I would be feeling so much lighter… clearer… and overflowing with so much peace… joy… love and light! What an amazing experience, to say the least. I wish to extend to everyone at SSA and all the Practitioners who were all absolutely awesome that I worked with my deep love and warm-hearted gratitude!”
~ Diane S.

Over the years, one of the biggest challenges I’ve seen in the people who come to us is the lack of peace. In fact, when we ask people what they want, it’s usually one of the top things they are saying they don’t have, that they want.

If this is something you’ve been feeling here are some possible reasons why…

We hear it all the time, but only because it’s true. Stress kills, but it also creates this lack of peace that can make your life almost unbearable.

everything perfect

Do you believe that everything has to be perfect (or everything has to be a certain way) in order for you to be happy?  

That’s a big one. Can you see what a set-up that is for creating stress and a lack of peace? 

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?

If you don’t, that can create a lot of problems in your life.

What’s driving you? Is something driving you? Are you driving yourself irrationally? Are you constantly pushing yourself to do more and more and more? The question is: What’s underneath that?

Are any of these true for you?

You see, when we look a little deeper, we uncover what’s really going on and then when you go deeper still, you see the compounding affects showing up in many areas of your life.

So how is a lack of peace affecting other areas of your life?

stress

When we’re stressed out all the time, it affects everything.

We had a woman come here to do a retreat last year and she was really at the end of her rope. She had a very demanding job, her marriage was having some problems, she has two kids —  a teenager and a 7-year-old, her elderly parents were requiring more help, she was overweight, she was a soccer mom, she was active in her church, and she was completely frazzled. She was driving herself crazy and she was driving everyone around her crazy. 

She kept putting off doing the retreat for over 6 months because she kept saying, “I can’t find 4 days where I can come.” Finally, her husband said to her, “I love you, but you have to do something about this. You’re killing yourself and you’re killing our family.” 

She came to Sedona and during her retreat, we uncovered that she was driving herself so hard because she was raised in a family where her parents were always demanding that she do more and more. She was made to feel like she wasn’t enough, she always had to keep proving over and over that she deserved to be loved. 

We did sessions with her that moved those old blocks and patterns out and she came into his huge realization of knowing and really believing that she deserves to be loved just because of who she is, not because of what she does. We gave her tools to deal with the stress, plus an action plan of simple but powerful ways to maintain everything she received here. 

She went home feeling so much lighter and happier. That was last year. I just heard from her a few weeks ago and she said the changes are absolutely incredible. 

She gets up 15 minutes before everyone else does and meditates. That keeps her centered for the day. When she goes to bed at night, the last thing she does is to say a prayer of gratitude. She spends one hour every other week doing the Breath Journey she learned here and she told me, “Debra, you can’t imagine the impact that’s had on my life.” She said even when she’s had things happen, it moves things out…no matter what’s happened, it brings her back into a peaceful state. 

change yourself and everything changes

She came home so happy and peaceful, and stayed that way, that her husband and people at work all said, “What happened to you?” Her husband came out for a retreat and two of her friends have also come for retreats. She changed herself and it changed everything in her life.

So what can YOU do to begin to start feeling peace in your life?

Meditate – 15 minutes a day changed everything for Leanne, it can do the same for you.

meditate outside

Breathe – Just taking a few deep breaths when you’re in a stressful situation can help, especially if you do it before you say something you’ll be sorry for later.

Slow down – It’s amazing what can happen when you just slow down. I recommend this to my coaching clients all the time. Stop rushing around everywhere. All that rushing maybe only saves you a few seconds and it’s taking away your peace of mind.

stop comparing yourself

Stop comparing yourself to other people – This is always a losing game.

Try to figure out what’s underneath all this – Do you have an idea of what’s driving you? Is some of this coming from feeling that you are not enough or that you constantly have to prove something? Knowing what’s underneath this can start the healing process. 

self care

Start doing some kind of self care – Take hot baths, get a massage regularly, schedule a regular night out with your friends, schedule a date night. Taking care of yourself has huge benefits.

I hope this video makes you feel a little happier and if it did, please like, share the video with your friends and subscribe to our channel.

And if you want a more direct path to creating peace in your life- then go to SedonaRetreatGuide.com and get your complimentary copy of The Sedona Guide to Spiritual Retreats.

Or if you’d like to talk to someone about doing a retreat that’s custom designed for you call us at 928-204-5988.

You can have the life or the relationship you want – I know it.

Some surprising ideas on How to Survive the Holidays

Thanksgiving is Thursday – Brace Yourself!
 
I love Thanksgiving and Christmas, but let’s face it — too often, being around our families triggers old wounds and old resentments. And sometimes we’re left feeling hollow and empty, realizing that we can’t even get along at the holidays. But it doesn’t have to be that way.
 
Watch my 8-minute video and let me know if it helps.
 
 
I hope this helped, and if you got value from this video, please like, share the video and subscribe to our channel.
 
Let’s face it, surviving the holidays can be a daunting task. 
 
Thanksgiving is this week and then we’ll have Christmas, but what I’m talking about really is true for any kind of holiday or family gathering. It all comes down to:
 
How do you want to feel?
 
That’s a really important question because most people don’t ask themselves that question ever, about anything, but it’s the one thing you should be asking yourself all the time.
 
We all want it to be like this. We want to have a happy, harmonious, beautiful loving time with our families, and it’s okay to want that, but how often does that really happen? Regrettably, not very often. 
 
Too often, being around our families triggers old wounds and old resentments, and we’re left feeling hollow and empty realizing that we can’t even get along at the holidays. But it doesn’t have to be that way.
 
The biggest problem with this image is that it’s a set up for an idealized version of life that for most people, just doesn’t exist. So understand that and take this very important piece of advice:
Take you and your family off the hook. Lower your expectations. Stop telling yourself that “this is how it should be.” Stop “Shoulding” all over yourself. Whenever you start using words like “this is how it should be,” that’s when you’re going to have trouble. Lower your expectations and don’t demand that your family has to act in a particular way.
 
So included in this are things like
 
Don’t talk about politics. Let’s face it, that’s just a recipe for disaster. 
 
Limit your alcohol intake. Do what you can to limit your Drunk Uncle’s imbibing. Things can go off the rails pretty quickly when people have had too much holiday cheer.
 
What if you simply didn’t go? This is a somewhat radical idea– what if you made the decision to simply not partake at all in the holiday celebration, to simply not go, not participate. Would it maybe be better to not subject your children to your Drunk Uncle and his cutting remarks? Would it be healthier for you to not subject yourself to your mother’s constant criticism? 
 
Before you automatically say no to this, let’s just think about it for a while. If you already know what you’re walking into, why decide to do that? Well, it might start a family fight and you don’t want that to happen, but are there some ways around that? Could you take your mother out for a Christmas lunch instead? Or do some other kind of outing with your kids? 
 
It’s your life. It’s your mental health and peace. There is no law that says you have to spend your precious holiday time with people who are going to be difficult to be around. I’m not saying we should stop all family gatherings, what I am saying is that we don’t have to do them the same old way.
 
And that starts by you deciding, as I said before: How do I want to feel?
I’m assuming you want to feel happy and connected. So let’s talk about some ways that can happen if you decide that you do want to be with your family.
 
As I said before, Lower your expectations. Decide that your goal is to simply feel okay about everything.
 
Decide to love your family just the way they are. That’s what you want also, right? You want your family to love you just the way you are, right? So start by loving them just the way they are.
 
Spend some time to think about each person you’re going to be seeing. On the ones you actually like and love, spend a few minutes thinking about what you like and love about them.
 
And now here’s where it gets interesting. Then spend some time thinking about the ones who you know are going to drive you crazy. Think about what it is that drives you crazy about them, what are the things they’re going to do that you just know are going to trigger you?
 
Then spend some time doing a quiet meditation about this. See yourself in the situation and see the person doing what it is that they do that bugs you. And then visualize yourself not getting upset, just sort of stepping back, or rising above it as you chuckle to yourself, “yep, they did it again.” But see yourself just not getting all worked up over it.
 
And then let’s go deeper still. Think about them and try to get some idea about why they act this way. If they’re a pompous know-it-all, they probably are actually very insecure underneath all that. See and try to feel yourself sending them love and some compassion. See yourself again, interacting with them and sending them love while you’re talking to them. And then see what happens when you actually get together with them.
 
If this is someone who has done something in the past to hurt you, find my video on Ho’oponopono to understand this process. Suffice it to say, this is an ancient technique from the Hawaiian kahunas, that is incredibly simple, but very powerful. Just think of this person and the situation a bunch of times before the holiday get together and say to yourself over and over:
 
I’m sorry
Please forgive me
I love you 
Thank you
 
This process is incredible and it might just bring you some amazing results. If it does, please let me know.
 
These things I’ve talked about can actually move the energy completely around in your family situation.
  • Lower your expectations
  • Decide to love your family just the way they are  
  • Visualize a happy outcome
  • Ho’oponopono

And these of course, are the best solutions. Changing the way you think and feel about getting together with your family can change how your family get togethers feel. 
And maybe it could actually look and feel like this after all. Wouldn’t that be amazing?

I hope this video makes you feel a little happier and if it did, please like, share the video with your friends and subscribe to our channel.

And If you want a more direct path to getting and staying happy – then go to SedonaRetreatGuide.com and get your complimentary copy of The Sedona Guide to Couples Retreats today.

Or if you’d like to talk to someone about doing a retreat that’s custom designed for you call us at 928/204-5988.

You can have the life AND the relationship you want – I know it.

Your self-critic is killing you! Here’s how to shut them up

How big a part of your life is your inner critic? Do you ever say things to yourself like, “You’re so stupid” or “What’s wrong with you?” or “Why did you do that?!” If so, you’ve simply got to STOP! Because you’re killing yourself!

Watch my video where I talk about a scientific study that proves that your inner critic is killing you and hear about things you can do right now to get that inner critic off your back and out of your head.

If you’d like to finally get that inner critic to shut up once and for all, please contact us and speak with one of our Retreat Guides. They’ll connect with you on a deep level, getting to the root of the problem. Then they’ll custom design a retreat that is specifically designed to root out the blocks and gunk that are feeding that inner critic, bringing you back into peace and the experience of being your best self.

i want my transformation

Or if you’d prefer, call us toll-free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada). For our friends outside the US and Canada, call 01 928-204-5988 or click here and one of our Retreat Guides will call you.

Lauren says after her Soul Adventure, “I understand who I am and I love me!”

“I was in a very dark place and my heart knew I needed healing and clarity. My soul adventure provided a safe place to journey through my pain and grief, gave me the tools to continue the healing process, and helped me become balanced and whole. I am no longer hardened by the world – I am soft and gushy! I no longer react in anger or frustration; I can breathe life and peace inside when confronted with difficult situations. I understand who I am and I love me! Thank you Sedona Soul Adventures!”
~ Lauren S., Dallas, TX

I love when I read studies that are verifying the work that we do here at Sedona Soul Adventures. It used to be that all of this stuff we talk about was considered New Age gobbledygook, but now studies by medical doctors and scientists are verifying what we’ve been saying all along. Which is:

Self criticism is killing you.

stop being hard on yourself

This particular study was published in the Journal of Psychotherapy Integration and reported in the New York Times with the title, “Why You Should Stop Being So Hard On Yourself.”

Here’s all the things they discovered: 

  • Self-criticism can take a toll on your mind and body 
  • Self-criticism can impact your body by stimulating inflammatory mechanisms that lead to chronic illness and accelerate aging 
  • Self-criticism can have measurably destructive effects, including symptoms of depression, anxiety, substance abuse, negative self-image and decreased motivation and productivity (When they say measurable they mean empirical studies have proven this)
  • Self-criticism can interfere with your productivity
  • Self-criticism leads people to becoming preoccupied with failure 
brains wired

The article then goes on to talk about why we humans do this and the answer is, (in their words): “Blame evolution” 

Which means that our brains are wired to notice our mistakes and for most of us, we then go on to tell ourselves that what we’re doing is either Good or Bad. That’s great, because if we do something that needs to be corrected, then we can go ahead and correct it. The problem is that for a lot of us, we then go on and rather than just learning from the mistake, we allow it to take us into a shame spiral…

correct what needs to be corrected

Chronic illness 
Accelerates aging 
Interferes with your productivity 
Depression 
Anxiety 
Substance Abuse 
Feelings of Failure 

And when you do that long enough and often enough, it leads to all the bad stuff they were talking about earlier:

self criticism effects

Is that serious enough for you to get you stop? 

Do you say things to yourself like:

“You’re so stupid” 

“You’re an idiot” 

“I Hate You” 

“What’s Wrong with you?”

Or do you lie awake at night endlessly replaying a negative situation over and over again in your head, telling yourself you should have said this, or you should have done that?

In the article, the next thing they ask is, “What should I do?” And their one word answer is: Self-Compassion

Self-Compassion is the practice of being kind and understanding to ourselves when confronted with a personal flaw or failure.  

self-compassion

And they offer three steps to help with Self-Compassion:

  1. Meditation  
  2. Meet your criticism with kindness (change your self talk from “you’re a loser” to “everybody makes mistakes”)
  3. Start noticing how you feel better when you are more compassionate with yourself, and then keep doing it over and over again 

When they’re discussing the three steps in this article, they wrote: “This is, of course, easier said than done.” And that’s the whole problem, isn’t it? 

I’m sorry, but you and I both know that simply telling someone to stop calling themselves a loser and telling them to start meditating is not going to stop a lifetime of self-loathing and self-criticism. I had years of therapy and it didn’t stop it, because it didn’t get to the root of what was causing it. 

You see, so much of the pain and self-loathing comes from so many deep places and they affect us on all levels — physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. When we have issues of not loving ourselves completely and unconditionally (and I have to say every single person I’ve ever met has that to one degree or another), it shows up on all those levels. 

On the Physical level, we feel insecure about our bodies (haven’t you noticed how even people who are “beautiful” think they aren’t perfect?). 

On the Emotional level, we deeply feel the self-criticism and it goes to our core. 

On the Mental level, we’re thinking things like “I’m a loser,” “I’m so stupid,” etc. 

On the Spiritual level, we actually believe that there’s something wrong with us. 

Unless we’re dealing with this on all four levels, it just stays there, stuck and not moving. 

We had a man come to us last year who, on the outside, seemed to have it all. He was very successful in his work, he had what seemed to be a great marriage, he was in good health, and his kids were doing well. His wife contacted us because all of a sudden he was feeling really unhappy and withdrawn – not really depressed, he just wasn’t happy and he had no idea why. We told her that we couldn’t set up the retreat for him unless we spoke with him directly and made sure he actually wanted to come (that’s the only way this will work).  

When we connected with him, he was saying all this self-deprecating stuff about himself, which he told us he did because he didn’t want other people to think he had a big ego. But as we delved deeper, we really got to it. 

did you feel

We discovered that he had been given up for adoption at birth and he was never able to find any kind of information about either of his parents. Even though he had been adopted by a very loving family who took great care of him, we discovered that he had a very deep seated belief that “there must be something wrong with me,” for his own mother to have given him up.  

He had never told anyone, not even his wife, that he felt this way. He hid the fact that he was adopted, he was ashamed of it, and he felt that in some way, he was a phony. That if people “really knew” him, really knew the truth about him, they wouldn’t like him. In his emotional clearing session all of this finally came spilling out, all these years of holding all this in, this self-loathing that literally had been eating away at him like a cancer. 

And then he did a Radiant Heart Healing and the hole that was left from all the self-loathing was suddenly filled with all this love that he was feeling for himself…he said it was just gushing and gushing. 

But the most amazing thing was in his Breath Journey. He was already feeling great, and feeling all this self love when suddenly he had a vision of a woman who he just knew was his mother, even though he had no idea of what she actually looked like.

I told him later that I thought this was the Divine Mother, the mother of us all coming to him and he stopped me and said, “Debra, no I know it was my mother, the spirit of my mother.” Now you have to understand this is a very successful, very straight business man who started out being very skeptical about all of this stuff, saying all this to me and of course, I just loved it and was so happy for him that he was feeling all this healing love.  

He went back home and his wife told me later that he is totally a changed man. She then told me she had been afraid he actually had cancer because he seemed to her to be withering away, even though he had been tested and there was no indication of that. I told her that self-loathing can be a type of cancer – it eats away at us and now these studies are showing all the negative effects it can have on us. 

If this is an issue that you’re struggling with, please reach out and let us help. We’re masters at getting to the root of what’s causing the self-loathing, clearing it out and moving you back into connection on all levels – physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.

I hope this helped, and if you got value from this video, please take the time to like it, share it with someone in your life who think might get something out of it and subscribe to our channel

And If you want an even more direct path to really loving yourself completely, – then go to SedonaRetreatGuide.com  and get your complimentary copy of The Sedona Guide to Spiritual Retreats today. 

Or if you’d like to talk to someone about doing a retreat that will turn your life around, call us at 928/204-5988. 

You can have the life AND the relationship you want – I know it!

Are you giving (and receiving) what you need in your relationship?

If you have any issues going on in your relationship (and let’s face it, most of us do) I REALLY want you to watch this video. After being a divorce attorney for 20 years and working with couples here at Sedona Soul Adventures for over 17 years, I know that the #1 problem that most couples have is not communication – it’s the lack of nurturing each other…of getting what you need and giving what the other one needs. Watch this and you’ll see what I’m talking about.

Let us help you get back into the Nurturing Zone. Come to Sedona and do a Couples Retreat. Can you imagine how good it would feel to come back into the love and connection that brought you together in the first place?

couples retreat

Call us and connect with one of our Retreat Guides. They’ll connect with both of you separately and really dig deep to discover what’s keeping you out of the Nurturing Zone.

Then they’ll put together a retreat that’s custom designed for exactly what you need and want, and to bring you back into the love, connection and sizzle that you crave.

i want my transformation

Or if you’d prefer, call us toll-free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada). For our friends outside the US and Canada, call 01 928-204-5988 or click here and one of our Retreat Guides will call you.

You might also like to download your free copy of our “Sedona Guide to Couples Retreats.” That will give you a real idea of what we do and how it works. But please — for the sake of your relationship, do something to get yourself back into the Nurturing Zone.

Sherri completes her 4th Retreat (!) her 2nd Couples Retreat, and says, “Every experience has been unique and special, and worth every penny!!!”

sedona soul adventure retreat testimonial

Today I’m going to talk to you about How to get what you want in your relationship. If you’ve been following me for a while, you probably already know that I was a divorce attorney in Omaha, Nebraska for over 20 years. And then in 2002, I started Sedona Soul Adventures, where we do retreats for individuals and couples. So I spent 20 years divorcing people, and now I’ve spent almost 20 years helping people stay together. 

Our record for helping people with their relationships is absolutely stunning and it’s because we’re able to dig deep to get at the root of the problem, and sometimes the problem is not what either person thinks it is. A big piece of this is finding out what each of you need in your relationship and deciding if you are willing to give it to the other person?  

We had a couple here last year and it was stunning. The husband had an affair and on the surface it looked like just one of the usual situations that sadly we see a lot of. They had grown apart and the husband, I’ll call him Mike, had an affair. Even though he said he loved his wife, I’ll call her Linda, and he adored their two children, the affair had happened and it had gone on longer than Mike had originally told Linda. Linda, of course, was devastated and really, really angry and felt like she could never trust him again. And of course, those reactions are completely natural.  

Mike’s father was a womanizer and his mother left his father when he was very young. He and his mother went to live with relatives in a household that was basically full of men-hating women. Mike grew up hearing about how terrible men are, how you can’t trust them and they’re all womanizers, and he grew up afraid that he would be like that too. But he wasn’t, he’d been married for 20 years, had never had the urge to have an affair and was even saying to us over and over again, “I can’t believe I did that, I can’t believe I jeopardized my whole life” like that. 

Linda grew up in a family where her mother constantly criticized her father and so Linda thought that’s how you communicate with a husband. You get him to do what you want by criticizing him.  

We discovered through our process that the needs that Mike has are Words of Praise and Gifts.

At this point, this might sound to some of you like the Love Languages work that is out there, which I like, but what we do is very different and very specific for each person. 

We discovered through our process that the needs that Linda has are Listening, Conversation and Protection.

Which also made sense because Linda’s mother also criticized Linda and her father would never stand up for her with her mother, so Linda grew up believing, “I have no one to protect me.” 

So Linda needs a man who will talk to her and protect her. And we quickly discovered that Mike just simply wasn’t talking to her and really hadn’t been throughout their marriage and she was, quite understandably, upset about it. And of course, the affair was the ultimate betrayal, how could anyone feel protected by someone who had betrayed them?

Mike didn’t want to have a lot of conversations with Linda because she was constantly criticizing him. She thought she was “helping him” by telling him what to do and how to do it, but it all just felt like criticism to him and Linda got it, how it would feel like that to him. 

So here we have a man whose most basic relationship need is Words of Praise and all he’s getting is Criticism. We have a woman whose most basic relationship need is Conversation and we have a man who won’t talk to her.

But then here’s the kicker:

When we discovered that Mike’s other need was Gifts, we asked him about that. He started tearing up as he told us that he never got gifts when he was growing up, not even for his birthday.  

And guess who gives him gifts? The woman that he had an affair with. And guess what else she gave him? Words of Praise. His other deepest need. It wasn’t about sex, it was about him feeling valued. 

When Mike and Linda realized they were living in this crazy, vicious cycle of he needs Words of Praise and she’s criticizing him, and she needs Conversation and he doesn’t want to talk to her because he doesn’t want to get criticized…and how this had much more to do with their childhoods than with what is going on now…and it’s just this crazy thing that keeps on happening and keeps on going back and forth until someone finally says, “STOP! Wait a minute. He needs Words of Praise and Gifts, are you willing to give that to him?”

And we say to him, “She needs conversation and protection, are you willing to give that to her?” It was harder for him to say yes, because they had 20 years of not really talking to each other. But when she saw him tear up over the gifts thing, her heart just melted. When he got that she was just doing what her mother had taught her to do, he got it. They both got it — that you have to give the other one what they need, not what you think they need, but what they need and want, you have to nurture them in what they need. 

If you’re not willing to do that, you don’t have a relationship. And you certainly don’t have a relationship that’s going to last for very much longer. 

Now understand, I’m not saying that what Mike did was okay, far from it. Having an affair is simply not okay, but when Linda understood all this, she really got it, her heart opened and she was able to forgive him and love him again. 

So How about you?  

Do you know what you want in a relationship? I’ve been surprised to discover that most people don’t. 

Do you know (really) what your partner wants? 

Do you care? That’s actually the most important one, because if you aren’t willing to give your partner what they want, things aren’t going to work. 

Have you spent any time thinking about how your parents were with each other because that can be really telling.

Were they happy?
Were they loving with each other?  
Did they talk?  
Did they fight?  
What did they teach you? (Even though they probably didn’t think they were teaching you.) 

But even more deeply, how was your childhood? 

Did you feel loved?
Did you feel valued?
Were you criticized?
Did you grow up believing there’s something wrong with you?  

Sadly, for many of us, things happen to make us believe that we’re not enough, that we don’t deserve love and then we bring all that into our relationships and it comes out in all kinds of crazy ways, like having affairs and mistreating the person we’re supposed to love. 

What do you really want? 

What do you crave? 

What do you need? 

Come to Sedona and we’ll help you discover that and help move out the blocks that are keeping you from the loving relationship you desire. That’s what we do all day, every day with our custom-designed retreats. 

What you need is probably different than what your partner needs. The blocks that have happened for you are the result of different things that caused the blocks for your partner. We’ll dig all that out and bring you into the love that’s waiting for you. 

Go to SedonaRetreatGuide.com and get your complimentary copy of The Sedona Guide to Couples Retreats today. 

Or even better, if you’d like to talk to someone about doing a retreat that’s custom designed for exactly what the two of you need,  call us at 928/204-5988. 

I hope this helped, and if you got value from this video, please take the time to like it, share it with someone in your life who think might get something out of it and subscribe to our channel

You can have the life AND the relationship you want – I know it!

The “Fun” (Almost Magical) Way to Get Out of Debt

Last week I talked with you about what your debt says about you and gave you very important (but unfun) ways to get out of debt. It’s very good and we got a huge response from it (if you didn’t see it, click here). 

Today I want to talk to you about the “fun” (almost magical) way to get out of debt and I’ll tell you the story of the day that $50,000 dropped out of the sky (it’s almost unbelievable, but it’s true).

Being in debt is so awful – it just crushes you, it feels like this giant weight that is constantly there and you think and worry and fret about it all the time. At least that’s what I did.

Find out how I turned that around and how you can too!

As I said last week, I want to be very careful about what I say to you about doing a Soul Adventure if you’re in debt. I don’t want to encourage you to be irresponsible, but as I talk about in this video, I was $50,000 in debt the first time I came to Sedona and it changed everything around for me. 

Let’s explore this together:

i want my transformation

Or if you’d prefer, call us toll-free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada). For our friends outside the US and Canada, call 01 928-204-5988 or click here and one of our Retreat Guides will call you.

fun ways to get out of debt

In my last video, I spoke with you about being in debt. And I spoke with you about what that reflects in your life and what I called the Unfun ways of coming out of debt – important things that you can start doing that will start to help you right now:  

  • Spending less 
  • Paying off debt 
  • Saving more 

Important, but sort of boring and not fun. But today I want to talk to you about Really Fun ways to get out of debt and change things around for your money situation.  

control how you think about money

Here’s where this gets very interesting and exciting. Because no matter what you’re telling yourself right now, you can control how you think and feel about money 

And you can turn the energy around. 

The Journey to Happy Book by Debra Stabgl

I spend a lot of time talking about this in my book, The Journey to Happy, and I want to encourage you to spend 99 cents to buy the Kindle version of my book – yes, now I’m talking to you about spending money, because it’s the best 99 cents you’ll ever spend, because it will help you understand these ideas more deeply.  

einstein

What I talk about in my book is that one of the truths that Einstein discovered (and that Quantum Physics continues to prove) is that Everything is Energy. Even this desk, which feels so stable and strong, is – at its core – just a bunch of particles racing around. 

Money is energy. Most people don’t believe that and don’t understand it, and that’s why they have so much trouble. 

money is energy

If everything is energy (and now we know it is), that means that everything is much more elastic, much more malleable, and much more possible to change than we think it is.  

Quantum physics has also proven that.

Putting our attention on something in any way changes it.  

So, if everything is energy and if putting our attention on something in any way changes it, that means we are all creating our reality in every moment

what we focus on expands

What we focus on expands.  

We get more of whatever it is that we think about and talk about.  

If you’re in debt, you are probably like I was when I was deep in debt: Thinking about it all the time, worrying about it all the time. 

credit card debt

Because I was thinking about it all the time and worrying about it all the time and talking about it all the time, I was getting more and more of it, no matter what I did. 

everything is energy

But here’s the good news – because everything is energy and because putting our attention on something in any way changes it…

You are creating your reality in every moment. 

That means: You can change the parts that you don’t like. 

That is really great news! If you are creating your reality, that means that you can change the parts that you don’t like – the parts that aren’t making you happy

The trick is, you need to learn how to flip the switch. 

The easiest way to do that is to Stop THINKING about what you don’t want and Stop TALKING about what you don’t want.

When I was afraid about money, it could never come to me or if it came, something else came along after to take it away. It’s simple physics – you have to be in the same high Vibration as the money. If you’re fearful, frustrated and upset about money, it literally cannot come to you. 

Which makes it pretty difficult, right, because when you’re in debt or your money situation isn’t the way you want it to be, if you’re like I was, you’re thinking about it all the time…obsessing about it all the time…worrying about it all the time. Which makes it impossible for it to come to you.  

But if you can learn to go with the flow, magical things happen. 

Let me tell you the story of what happened to me and the day that $50,000 dropped out of the sky…

When I first came to Sedona over 20 years ago, my entire life was a mess. I had just started my 20th year of law practice and I hated it, I was in an unhappy marriage, I weighed 40 pounds more than I do now, and I was $50,000 in debt due to some very bad business decisions.  

I worried constantly about money. It was always on my mind. I would wake up in the morning and start worrying about it and I would go to bed worried about it. I was always fearful, frustrated and upset, so of course money couldn’t come to me. 

During those five years, I spent a lot of time praying and meditating, saying, “God, I’m so unhappy! Please tell me what to do!” Almost every time I did that, I would hear a voice say, “You need to leave your law practice.” I would immediately respond, “I can’t do that! I’ve got a mortgage and two car payments! I’m the sole supporter and I’m $50,000 in debt! I CAN’T leave my law practice!”  

So the last thing in the world I should have been spending money on at this point in my life was a spiritual retreat. But I put it on my credit card and I came. 

I came to Sedona and did one session – and in that session my Higher self appeared to me and told me I had to leave my law practice or I was going to die. Well, this time I heard the message. 

I went home and after two weeks of trying to figure out how I was possibly going to leave my law practice when I was $50,000 in debt, there was a day where something just happened. I was meditating and praying, and I just felt all the worry and concern just lift off me. I just felt it. I remember saying, “Ok God, I’m going to do this. I don’t know how I’m going to do this, but I’m going to do it, but I need some help.” 

Within about 8 hours, a former client called to ask me some questions and at the end of the call told me he had just bought a new business refinancing mortgages. I asked him if he thought he could get my mortgage payment reduced. He took my address and called me back in 10 minutes and said, “I can get your mortgage payment cut in half and I can get you $50,000 in cash.” 

Now I had never told him I was $50,000 in debt. He certainly didn’t know about my going into that high vibrational state where I just released the worry and concern. But suddenly, within a few hours, the worry and concern that had haunted me for five years was gone.  

And ever since then, whenever I feel worried about money, I just stop. 

Because I know these principles: 

Whatever I’m afraid of, is coming faster. 

Whatever I’m excited about, is coming faster. 

If I’m afraid of not having enough money, I do everything I can to take myself out of that feeling, because I KNOW my fear is keeping the money away. In my other videos, I’ve given you lots of things you can do to bring yourself out of those energies, such as:    

  • Tapping  
  • Deep Breathing
  • Change Your Story, Change Your Life

I never talk to people about not having enough money, I only talk about abundance. 

You can use other little tricks like…  

Listening to Music 
Petting your pet 
Going outside in the sunshine 
Writing in your Gratitude Journal 

The trick is getting there and staying there. But the key is all in these three simple steps:  

1. Get happy  
2. Stay happy 

And in order to get happy and stay happy: 

3. Don’t think about what you don’t want and don’t talk about what you don’t want  

It all comes down to stop worrying about money.

Again, I know that’s much easier said than done, because I was someone who worried about it for years and years, but I’ll tell you, when you can stop worrying and instead start getting excited about what’s on the way, money will start to flow to you. 

visualization

So do this: When you start to worry – stop and instead, think about how great it will be to have your money woes behind you, think about how fantastic it will feel to have your credit cards all paid, visualize your bank statement having a balance that is really large. Feel the feeling of what it feels like to have money in savings. Feel what it feels like to have all that worry off your shoulders. Start appreciating what you have and really feel that. 

This is so deceptively simple. It’s simple, I know it’s not easy, because I’ve been there through those sleepless nights, but I will tell you, when you flip the switch — and you can tell when that’s happening — miracles can actually happen. 

I hope this helped, and if you got value from this video, please take the time to like it, share it with someone in your life who think might get something out of it and subscribe to our channel

And If you want an even more direct path to dealing you’re your money issues, I’m going to say to you – think about doing a Soul Adventure. Money blocks for most people are huge and go way back and run deep. I don’t want you to be irresponsible, but look at what happened to me – I came here and $50,000 dropped out of the sky three weeks later.

I can’t tell you the number of people who have come here and gone home, and gotten the job of their dreams and had their entire life change around. You need to listen to your own guidance, but you may want to just start exploring the possibilities. Excited expectation is the key to all of this. Go to SedonaRetreatGuide.com and get your complimentary copy of The Sedona Guide to Spiritual Retreats today.

Or if you’d like to talk to someone about doing a retreat that can turn your life around call us at (928) 204-5988.  

You can have the life AND the relationship you want – I know it!

My Favorite Spiritual Movies – “Groundhog Day”

Have you ever seen the movie “Groundhog Day” with Bill Murray? It’s one of my favorite spiritual movies of all time. It has such incredible messages – watch my video:

Do you ever feel like Phil (the Bill Murray character) feels? Feeling stuck in your life and there’s nothing you can do about it?

There is something you can do about it.

Call us, let us help.

It’s all about moving out the gunk and the blocks that are holding you in disconnection and then moving you back into connection on all the levels – physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. The specific ways are different for each person. That’s why our custom-designed retreats are so powerful and effective.

Would you like to speak to an Angel Guide today? Or later this week? Call us – connect with one of our Angel Guides and let them design a retreat that can bring you back into Heaven on Earth.

Or if you’d prefer, call us toll-free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada). For our friends outside the US and Canada, call 01 928-204-5988 or click here and one of our Retreat Guides will call you.

And remember, we even work on Sunday, we’re here for you.

If you knew what could happen you’d be contacting us right now.

Kelly says her Soul Adventure “surpassed all my expectations” and
was “worth every penny.”

“Sedona Soul Adventures surpassed all my expectations. The practitioners are deeply committed, knowledgeable, and caring. I felt like l had the best possible experts all working together to help me find and focus on my ‘true’ self. I have a tool box that I can use when faced with challenges and am better able to recognize triggers and instead of reacting, I’m able to reconnect with my inner voice and follow a path that is informed by love, instead of ego or fear. Worth every penny, and I plan to go back again for a refresher and/or to continue my development.”
~ Kelly R., Chicago, Illinois

In these series of videos I’m talking about concepts from my book, The Journey to Happy– How Embracing the Concept that Nothing is wrong can transform your life…with processes that can help you feel a lot happier right away. 

And most of the time when I’m doing these videos, I’m talking to you about very heavy issues – and today I want to do something a little bit different. 

I have a list of what I call, “My Favorite Spiritual Movies” and I’m going to be talking to you about them today and into the future for two reasons: 

  1. They have messages that are really amazing, wonderful and helpful.    
  2. Watching a movie can very often immediately make you feel better. 

One of the things that I talk about a lot in my book is that when you start to feel yourself beginning to slip and just starting to not feel great, do something – anything – to start making yourself feel better… like listening to music, petting your dog or your cat, or watching a movie that makes you laugh or simply feel good. 

So here’s one of these movies for me: “Groundhog Day” with Bill Murray. Have you seen this movie? Your first reaction might be, “This is a spiritual movie?” Because it is very, very funny, very irreverent; it’s Bill Murray at his best. But yes, I want to assure you it’s definitely at the top of my list of the top 10 spiritual movies of all time.  

And you may not know the backstory of this – that it was written and directed by Harold Ramis, a Buddhist (he passed a few years ago), and this movie is all about consciousness. It’s all about how we perceive things and how everything can shift in an instant.

So if you’ve never seen it, watch it. And if you’ve never watched it from this perspective, definitely watch it again and you’ll see what I mean. 

In the movie, Phil, played by Bill Murray, is reliving the same day (Groundhog Day) over and over again. He plays a weatherman who is covering whether or not the groundhog sees his shadow. He is stuck in his own personal hell with himself – he’s selfish, egotistical, shallow and doesn’t care about anyone other than himself. 

Worse, he can’t get out of it and he can’t get away from himself. He even tells us that he hates himself. 

He’s completely stuck.  

And when he figures out what’s happening, that he’s reliving the same day over and over again, he goes through anger, frustration, manipulation, depression and even suicide (which doesn’t work) until something changes. He falls in love and begins to live his life from a completely different perspective; in that instant, his life changes.  

It’s such an incredible parable: 

When we start allowing what is, our life transforms. 

When we love with no expectation or demands, we get exactly what we want. 

We can transform from living in hell, to living in Heaven on Earth. It’s our choice and it just takes an instant. 

Do you sometimes feel like you’re living in a kind of hell? 

Do you feel like there’s nothing you can do about  it? 

Well, I’m here to tell you there is something you can do about it. Your life can be transformed if you’re willing to take responsibility for your life and your creations. The way you perceive the world and the way you move in the world can be changed in an instant. I see it all the time and it is truly miraculous. 

It’s all about moving out the gunk and the blocks that are holding you in disconnection and then moving you back into connection on all the levels:

  • Physical
  • Mental
  • Mmotional
  • Spiritual. 

The specific ways are different for each person. That’s why our custom-designed retreats are so powerful and effective. 

So call us – connect with one of our Angel Guides and let them design a retreat that can bring you back into Heaven on Earth.

I hope this helped, and if you got value from this video, please take the time to like it, share it with someone in your life who think might get something out of it, subscribe to our channel.

To get more information, go to SedonaRetreatGuide.com and get your complimentary copy of The Sedona Guide to Couples Retreats today.

Or if you’d like to talk to someone about doing a retreat that’s custom designed for you call us at (928) 204-5988.

You can have the life  AND the relationship you want – I know it.

Sexual Abuse

Have you or anyone you know been a victim of sexual abuse or assault?

I’m asking because I’m so stunned by the sheer numbers of people that come to our retreats who have this as something that happened to them. And so saddened by the fact that this haunts them throughout their lives.

It’s happened to both men and women, sometimes when they were very young, and almost none of them told anyone about it.

So the terrible parts for this, for me, in addition to what happened, is then what happens after that.

I’m amazed at the number of stories I’ve been told of people telling their parent, usually their mother, and not being believed.

Or worse, being blamed that they somehow brought this on themselves.

And then the number of people who somehow blame themselves for what happened. Especially teenagers or people who were on a date and because they were being friendly or because they had something to drink, they’re blaming themselves.

And it’s people from every walk of life – every ethnicity, male, female, upper class, middle class, lower class – it’s so pervasive that I actually feel it is a type of epidemic.

I was reading recently that when Freud did his initial work, he was working primarily with women in the upper class of Vienna and he was discovering that huge numbers of them were saying that they had been sexually abused by a family member, usually a father or a brother. When he first started talking about it, there was such an uproar, that he changed his analysis. He started talking about it as though the women had made it up, that they were “hysterical.”

And the worst part is the cover up. The person tells someone, they’re not believed and so they shut up about it. And then they carry it with them, this huge weight that is dragging them down.

And then here’s another worst part, (I keep saying this is the worst part, because there’s so many terrible parts to this), it gets twisted into this terrible belief that they take on that this happened because there’s something wrong with them. Or now that it happened, there’s something wrong with them.

And then, like I said, they carry it around.

We’ve had people come to us where this happened over 40 years ago and they’re still suffering, or 30 years ago, or 20 years ago, and they still feel it like a scar, like a wound.

If this is something that has happened to you or someone you deeply care about, I want to reach out to you to lay this burden down. This pain doesn’t need to be carried around any longer.

This energy can be released and you can come back into connection on all levels – physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Because it affects people on those levels.

  • Some people don’t physically enjoy sex any longer because of the abuse, or it’s painful for them, either physically or emotionally.
  • The emotional pain typically shows up in feelings of inadequacy.
  • The mental part is all the thoughts racing in your head of “there’s something wrong with me,” “this is my fault,” “I’ll never get over this,” “my life is ruined.”
  • The spiritual part shows up in different ways. The spiritual aspect is about beliefs, so you take on those untrue thoughts that there’s something wrong with you. But on an even deeper level, we’ve found many people who have lost their faith, in that “how could God let something like this happen to me?” It’s especially insidious when it’s been a father, because for a young child, the father can represent God.

We have helped so many people who have had this happen to them. If this is something that is still haunting you or someone you deeply care about, please call us and let us help.

Call and speak with one of our Angel Guides. For some people, this is the hardest part, speaking about it, sometimes for the very first time. Our Angel Guides, are incredible, they are so compassionate and caring, you’ll feel better just having spoken with them. And it’s so freeing to finally talk about it with someone who cares.

When they speak with you, they’ll tune it and determine exactly how the impact of this is showing up for you, because it’s different for everyone. Some people are depressed, some people are angry, some people are ashamed. For some, it has greatly impacted their relationships, for others, it has greatly impacted their feelings of empowerment or inadequacy, for some, it has even impacted how they show up in the world. And it can definitely impact how you are as a partner and as a parent.

However it’s showing up for you, they’ll get to the root of it and put together a retreat of private sessions designed to move out the old, hurtful energy and moving you into connection on all levels – physical, mental, emotional and spiritual.

Or if you’d prefer, call us toll-free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada). For our friends outside the US and Canada, call 01 928-204-5988 or click here and one of our Retreat Guides will call you.

Julianne says that after her Soul Adventure she feels happier, enlightened and TALLER! “I was freed from this shame I have carried through my life.”

“I was totally meant to go to Sedona. It is a magical place with incredible people. During my retreat, I felt myself change, a warm yellow light grew from inside of me. By my last day, I felt taller, happier, enlightened, I felt I finally awoke that wonderful, beautiful spirit deep inside of me that was afraid to come out. I was freed from this shame I have carried through my life. I wish for every human person to go through an experience like mine, it was worth every penny. I will go back to Sedona without a doubt.”
~ Julianne V., Ottawa, Canada

I love it so much that Julianne’s retreat helped her so deeply and isn’t it sweet, she says her Soul Adventure made her feel TALLER! That’s a new one.

But that’s exactly what happens. Shame (or depression or feeling “less than,” etc.) does that to you. It makes you feel smaller. It makes you feel less than. When those blocks are gone and that “wonderful beautiful spirit deep inside of you” comes through, you’re suddenly lighter and happier, and that literally makes you stand up taller! It’s so amazing.

What To Do About Burnout

In the past few months, I’ve been focusing my newsletters and videos on burnout because it’s such a huge problem.

Did you know that the World Health Organization has now recognized burnout as a legitimate condition that needs to be managed and treated?

In this week’s video, I have some really good ways to help you deal with burnout. It’s so important – it could save your life!

If burnout is happening with you, it’s time to do something about it!

As I say in the video, simply getting better organized is not going to reduce your level of burnout. You need to do something to turn this around, to get at the heart of what’s really the problem. What is really causing your stress, what’s really going on?

Let us help you. Let us get to the root of what’s going on. It’s in there somewhere and we’re masters at figuring that out, clearing it out and bringing you back into connection.

Call us – we can help.

Or if you’d prefer, call us toll-free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada). For our friends outside the US and Canada, call 01 928-204-5988 or click here and one of our Retreat Guides will call you.

Brian says, “Before my Soul Adventure, I was completely burned out…
I had a complete awakening and am now happy and at peace
with myself.”

“My experience with Sedona Soul Adventures was unimaginable. I arrived in a complete state of desperation and total burnout. Life made no sense to me and I really had an incredible amount of hatred toward myself. Things started to become clear so quickly. An understanding of my purpose and what life is and means began to appear, and then every session built upon that so powerfully that by the fourth day, I had reached a complete awakening.

I cannot describe in words the feeling of relief that I had finally experienced. I was finally back home in my heart. Let me include the fact that I was not a very spiritual, religious or very loving, caring person. I just opened up my mind and allowed things to happen without resistance. I was very skeptical of SSA in terms of if it was some hokey sort of thing and was going to be a complete waste of time. That could not be further from the truth. If you are serious about changing your life and becoming happy and at peace with yourself, this is the best next step you could take.”
~ Brian R., Los Angeles, CA

In this series of videos, I’ve been talking to you about burnout, because it’s such a serious issue and so many people are suffering from it. 

In fact, it’s become so serious around the world, that the World Health Organization has recognized it as a condition that needs serious attention and treatment. 

 

In my previous videos I’ve talked about: 

  • Burnout in your Work 
  • Burnout in your Relationship 
  • Burnout in your Life 

And today I want to talk about what you can do about it. 

If this is the first of these videos that you’ve watched, let me back up just a little to talk about what burnout is. HelpGuide defines Burnout as:

Burnout is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress. It occurs when you feel overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and unable to meet constant demands. 

And it’s important to note that burnout is different than stress. Stress spikes, burnout is just getting to the point where you feel like you just can’t take it anymore and you just don’t want to do anything, you’re listless and just disinterested.  

If this is happening in your life, I can’t tell you how important it is to deal with it. Study after study is showing the kind of continual stress that leads to burnout is directly linked to heart attack, stroke, cancer and a compromised immune system.

This Can Kill You! 

So please, do something about this before it’s too late. Do it for yourself, do it for your family.

How do deal with Burnout 

So the question is, how do you deal with Burnout? The obvious first answer is don’t let it happen in the first place. Of course, that’s easier said than done, but if you’re not at burnout yet and you’re just stressed out a lot, you can save yourself or someone you love a whole lot of problems if you do something before you’ve gone completely over the edge. 

So this means Managing Your Stress. 

What are things that can reduce your stress? 

Study after study shows that three of the easiest things that you can start doing right now, today are:

  • Get 8 hours of sleep 
  • Exercise 
  • Meditate 
  • Breathe 

And of course, everyone’s first reaction is, “I don’t have time for any of those and I can’t meditate, I have monkey mind.” 

Get up 1 hour earlier. Studies have shown that just 30 minutes of exercise is optimal for everything that your body needs. And even the Dalai Lama says that he has monkey mind – everyone has monkey mind – so find a meditation that will work for you and keep at it. Stop watching TV at night, stop playing video games, go to bed one hour earlier. 

If you do this, you are handling the first three by giving yourself the time to exercise and meditate. And isn’t it worth it to save your life? 

The final one is to breathe. And everyone has time for that. The problem is that you’re just not doing it. And don’t think this is New Age, woo-woo stuff. This is what doctors and scientists are telling people to do and here’s why…

When we get stressed, we go into fight or flight and our body starts pumping cortisol and we start breathing rapidly. It’s our caveman brain acting like we’re running away from a tiger. The problem is our brain doesn’t know the difference between a tiger and an upset at work; our brain makes our body react the same way to any stress. 

What doctors, scientists and yogis in India all know is that when you start taking full deep breaths, you are signaling to your body, “I’m safe,” and your rapid heart rate slows down and you stop pumping the cortisol that’s filling into your body. 

When something happens in your life, just stop and take a moment to breathe. Go into a bathroom if you want to, but just stop and take slow breaths. 

All of this that I’m talking about is about Being Mindful. Notice what’s happening, be present, stop, breathe.

And now, here’s what I think is the most important one. Figure out how to not sweat the small stuff. And I’m going to pull out the big guns on this one: in a study of stressed out men, they found that stressing over the small stuff kills you: 

“People who always perceived their daily life to be over-the-top stressful were three times more likely to die over the period of study than people who rolled with the punches and didn’t find daily life very stressful.”
Carolyn Aldwin 
Center for Healthy Aging Research 

Think about it. They had people dying during this study and they were the ones that stressed out over small stuff. 

How about you? 

Does a glitch in traffic make you crazy? 
Do you lie awake at night worrying about stuff? 
Do you get anxious when you’re late?        
Do little annoyances make your heart start pumping?

If so, you’ve got to figure out a way that works for you to calm yourself down. This is what I talk about in my book, The Journey to Happy – How Embracing the Concept that Nothing is Wrong Can Transform Your Life. This is the way to flip the switch out of stress and back into peace. 

It’s simple, but it’s not easy, but I’ll tell you as someone who used to overreact to absolutely everything absolutely all the time, this concept saved my life. 

Do I still react and over react? Yes, I must admit that I do, but I’m happy to say that I do it much less often and when I do, I’m able to stop and pull myself back much more quickly than I used to. The Kindle version of the book is only 99 cents on Amazon (you can buy it here). The book has nine processes that can help you to flip that switch.  

Because here’s the thing -– stress comes from what you’re believing about your situation and yourself, and that’s making you fearful and triggering the stress response.  

If your boss says to you, “I’ve got to have that report by 5,” and you know there’s no way you’re going to have that report by 5, your heart starts racing, you go into panic mode, you yell at your wife when she calls you 10 minutes later, you start thinking things like, “I’m going to get fired,” “I can’t do this,” “There’s something wrong with me,” “I’m not smart enough,” “I’m not good enough”… All of which are lies. 

Simply getting better organized is not going to reduce all that. That’s why you need to do something to turn this around to get at the heart of what’s really the problem. What’s really causing your stress, what’s really going on.  

Let us help you. Let us get to the root of what’s ailing you. It’s in there somewhere and we’re masters at figuring that out, clearing it out and bringing you back into connection.

hope this helped, and if you got value from this video, please take the time to like it, share it with someone in your life who think might get something out of it, subscribe to our channel.

To get more information, go to SedonaRetreatGuide.com and get your complimentary copy of The Sedona Guide to Couples Retreats today.

Or if you’d like to talk to someone about doing a retreat that’s custom designed for you call us at (928) 204-5988.

You can have the life  AND the relationship you want – I know it.

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Copyright 2019. Sedona Soul Adventures.

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