This past week, I read an article, heard something on the radio and saw something online that all said the same thing. When I get things in three’s like that it always means I’m supposed to share that with you. What they said was not new, we all know this on one level or another, but the way they said it and the how was what was really interesting to me.
• The article was about the #1 thing that attracts the opposite sex.
• The radio segment was about a study that demonstrates what makes for the best guide dogs.
• The online posting was about how to have the most success in a job interview.
I don’t think this will surprise you, but the ways I’m going to talk about it might be interesting to you. The key in all of these (including the guide dogs) was (drum roll, please) Confidence.
The article that I read was talking about that the #1 thing that really “gets” the opposite sex is confidence. Men can feel it in women and women can feel it in men. The higher the confidence level (and we’re not talking about egomania, we’re talking about confidence), the higher the level of attraction.
The second one was the one most interesting to me. They did a study of guide dogs, following 100 puppies from the time of their birth through their graduation of guide dog training and then their time as a guide dog. What they were looking at initially was “who made the best guide dogs? Puppies who were from mother dogs who were very attentive and involved with them or puppies who came from mother dogs who were much less attentive?” When I first heard them talking about it, I assumed that, of course, the puppies who had been more attended to as they were growing up were the ones who ultimately became the best guide dogs. To my amazement, the opposite was true. The puppies who had to fend more for themselves made better guide dogs later on. The puppies who had “helicopter mothers” (the type who hover over everything) didn’t even make it through the guide dog training — they weren’t as focused and they were more hyper, they weren’t calm enough to become guide dogs.
On further study, they discovered that the puppies who had to fend more for themselves had more confidence. They were calmer and being calm is the most important attribute of a guide dog.
The third one — that confidence was the #1 thing that mattered in a job interview — was less surprising, but the thing that did surprise me was that confidence mattered even more than education. Experience mattered as much as confidence if the experience was exactly the same, but if someone had experience that was not exactly the same, confidence became more important. The potential employer wanted to feel like the person would be able to do the job, and the confidence the person exuded meant more than education and experience.
[And, amazingly, as I was in the middle of writing this, I opened a newsletter written by a friend of mine who was describing what it takes to be a “Most Valuable Player” and one of the attributes was Confidence — another validation!]
What exactly is confidence? When I looked up the definition of confidence, here’s what I got:
Confidence: a feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities.
Example: “she’s brimming with confidence”
What I find most interesting in that definition is that they’re saying it’s “a feeling”, because that’s all confidence is — it’s a feeling. You can’t measure it, you can’t get a degree in it, you can’t get a certification in it. It’s either there or it isn’t. Some people have it and some people don’t.
Men feel it in women, women feel it in men, dogs feel it, potential employers feel it — everyone we come into contact with feels it from you or they don’t.
It’s so interesting to me that sometimes I will find people who have a lot of confidence and I’m wondering where that came from. They don’t have the outward things that would make you assume they would have confidence — good education, good looks, good background, money, etc., etc.
And the truly mystifying thing to me in the work that I do is seeing someone who from all outward appearances SHOULD have a lot of confidence (e.g., a woman who is gorgeous, smart, loving, giving, accomplished, etc.) and then to discover that inside they are a mass of insecurities.
If confidence is so important — we can see from above that it matters in love, in doing a good job and even getting a good job — why don’t we all just “act as if” we’re confident? The simple answer is, we can’t.
Most of us have fears or wounds or negative thoughts or insecurities that keep us from feeling truly confident. It’s like I said before, it’s either there or it isn’t and what I’ve found in 30 plus years of working with people, there’s some kind of emotional gunk that’s holding most people back from feeling truly confident.
Wouldn’t you love to feel confident?
Wouldn’t you love to be a person who’s brimming with confidence?
I truly believe (and I see it all the time) that it’s possible to become a confident person — once you’ve cleared out the fears and the wounds and the emotional gunk that is keeping you from feeling confident. Because think about it — it’s just these things we tell ourselves that are keeping us from feeling confident, or these feelings of insecurity. When we get rid of all that gunk, the confidence comes pouring through and sooner or later we’re brimming over with it.
If you’re ready to get rid of the gunk and be the confident, joyful person you were meant to be, please contact us. Talk to us and we’ll custom design the perfect retreat that will bring you the life or the relationship you’re craving.
Or if you’d prefer, call us toll free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada). For our friends outside the US and Canada call 01 928-204-5988 or click here and one of our Angel Guides we’ll call you.
Would you like to speak to someone today? We’re even open on Sundays, because we’re here for you.
Wishing you a week brimming with confidence,
Debra Stangl / Founder
Sedona Soul Adventures – Transforming Lives One Soul At A Time
Stephanie says her Soul Adventure gave her “happiness and confidence”
“I was referred to Sedona Soul Adventures from a friend that had had an amazing experience at a time in his life where he needed clarity and spiritual guidance. I had just barely survived a very traumatic divorce which lasted over a year and was emotionally exhausted and very sad. I went to Sedona seeking guidance from any source that was willing to give it to me. AND I GOT IT!!! I arrived filled with much pain and anger and unsure where I was headed in life. I had lost my confidence and was not happy with the person I had become. In a few short days, I was able to release all of my pain and anger and look at my life as a wonderful adventure waiting to unfold. I left feeling as if there was nothing I couldn’t achieve. In the few days since I’ve been home, I have so many wonderful things that have happened to me and now look forward to each day! I have my happiness and my confidence back. This was an amazing adventure that I wish all could experience!!!”
Stephanie S., Las Vegas, Nevada
Watch videos of people talking about our last two Egypt trips
I’m always telling everyone how wonderful the Egypt trip is, but don’t take my word for it, listen to the people who were on the trips this past February and in February, 2016. They’ll tell you how fabulous it was, how incredible Egypt is, that they felt safe, they felt so taken care of, the hotels are beautiful, the food is fantastic, they made friendships that will last a lifetime, etc., etc. Again, don’t listen to me, listen to them.
If you’d love to come with us on our next Return to Egypt trip (February 11-25), get all the information here: