“I Keep Marrying the Same Man”
They sat on opposite ends of the couch like two people who had run out of energy to fight.
I’ve seen that particular silence many times. It’s the look of people who have tried everything they know how to try.
Thomas and Marissa had done six months of therapy. Two marriage classes.
Even a weekend “relationship breakthrough” workshop that produced no breakthroughs.
None of it had made a difference. If anything, they felt more hopeless than when they started.
They had each been married twice before. And they were terrified they were about to repeat the same heartbreak a third time.
“We don’t want to do this again,” Thomas said, staring at the floor.
Marissa nodded, tears slipping down her cheeks.
“I keep marrying the same man,” she whispered. “Different face, same emptiness.”
What neither of them realized yet was that Thomas felt the exact same way.
He kept choosing partners who needed him to be emotionally present in a way he’d never learned how to be. Not because he was cold. Not because he didn’t care.
But because every time intimacy got too close, his whole body went into shutdown.
It wasn’t a choice. It was a wound.
When they each did their inner work with us, everything cracked open.
Thomas remembered being seven years old, sitting on the edge of his bed while his parents fought in the next room. Calling out, wanting someone to notice he was scared. And no one came. I don’t matter was born right there.
And it had been quietly choosing his relationships ever since.
Marissa saw herself at eight, rushing to clean the kitchen before her father got home so he wouldn’t yell. I’m not lovable unless I perform. That wound had been running her entire life.
His withdrawal activated her fear. Her fear activated his withdrawal.
And round and round they went. Through two marriages each.
When they finally saw the pattern, the shame lifted. So did the blame. So did the fear.
They realized they had never been choosing the wrong people.
They had been choosing from their wounds instead of from wholeness.
They didn’t leave Sedona “fixed.” They left free. More honest with themselves. Finally able to love without so much fear.
I tell you their story because Thomas and Marissa aren’t unusual. They’re a mirror of what we see EVERY day.
(That’s the part that still gets me, after all these years.)
And it’s the reason Richard and I wrote our new book, High-Vibe Relationship.
Because the pattern doesn’t leave when your partner does.
It leaves when you heal.
Love isn’t the problem. The gunk is.
I was a divorce attorney for 20 years…
Which is why my highest purpose through Sedona Soul Adventures is helping couples like this reconnect and clear out the “gunk” that’s built up over the years…
Thomas and Marissa are just one example of the couples we see every single day…
They were able to discover the core wounds that were causing the rift in their relationship…
And work with a team of expert practitioners to free themselves as individuals and come back to each other.
If you’re interested in learning more about our couples retreats and how we can help close the rift between you and your partner so you can have your own High-Vibe Relationship…
Tap here to learn more and schedule a consultation with one of our Soul Guides.
High-Vibe Relationship
Want to help us bring this message into the world?
As we get ready to launch High-Vibe Relationship, we’re gathering a small founding community.
We’re calling it the Founding 100. Heart-centered people who believe relationships can heal, families can heal, and love can become conscious and connected again.
As one of our Founding 100 Ambassadors, you’ll get early access to the book, a free digital copy, exclusive “Raise Your Vibration” meditation and tools, private Zoom gatherings with Richard and me, and bonus teachings we won’t be releasing anywhere else.
You don’t need a big following or any special experience. We care far more about heart, authenticity, and a genuine belief in the message.
If this speaks to you, we’d love to have you with us.
If you'd like to join us in the founding group...
Email us at [email protected] and put "INTERESTED: Founding 100" in the subject and we'll send the details shortly.
We cannot wait to hear your story!
- Debra & Richard
Ok, on to a few updates.
We still have spaces left and I want to make sure you don't miss your chance to join us!
Soul Travel
Bali Sacred Spirit Journey | September 12-25
There are places in the world that are beautiful.
And then there are places that feel alive.
You feel it in the temples...
The incense...
The water...
The quiet...
There's just something about the way this place invites you in that you can’t compare to anywhere else in the world.
We'll be taking a 2-week journey into Bali to experience everything it has to offer…
Each day follows a gentle, intentional flow:
Daily morning meditation (plus optional gentle yoga)
Sacred and cultural exploration
Evenings together over dinner, grounding and connecting
There are only 2 rooms left - join us.
Bali Sacred Spirit | September 12-25
Soul Travel
Return to Egypt Total Solar Eclipse Tour | August 2027
There are moments in life that you never forget.
My first trip out to Sedona was one of them...
It set me on a new path in my spiritual journey that I never could have predicted.
Some of that comes down to timing...
But some of that comes down to the magic in the locations where these moments take place.
In August of next year, there is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity we want to experience with you...
A momentary alignment of the sun and the moon in one of the most historically rich places on Earth.
Experiencing a celestial event like this among ancient temples, sacred sites, and the energy of Egypt...
It's a moment I know I'll never forget, and I can't wait to share it.
We're still finalizing the details, so click here to let us know you're interested and we'll share them soon!
Solar Eclipse Over the Nile | August 2027
Soul Academy
Inner Journey Breathwork Retreat and Certification Program
September 13-18
Our next breathwork training and certification starts with a retreat in Sedona, September 13-18, followed by 9 online workshops over 5 months. Get all the info here.
If you've been healed through your spiritual journey, whether it was through a Sedona Soul experience, or something else entirely...
You know how freeing it feels to let go of the weight that's held you down for so long.
Rediscovering yourself...
Remembering what it truly means to be you...
Releasing the bonds you thought you'd carry forever...
So you can spiritually, physically, and energetically recover and step into yourself again.
If you've ever felt called to share that experience with others, and help them feel safe enough to heal on their own journey...
I'd love to invite you to our upcoming Inner Journey Breathwork Retreat & Certification Program.
It's a life-changing experience, and something we've helped so many amazing practitioners develop their skills in so they can share them with the world.
Inner Journey Breathwork Certification Program
September 13-18 Retreat + Online Training
Did You Know?
Sedona Soul Adventures was named:
- “Best of Sedona” for Retreats for 2020–2026
- “Best Marriage Retreats in the US” 2015–2026
- One of the “11 Best Couples Retreats Around the World” by Bride's Magazine
- One of Global Radiance Review’s “20 Most Trustworthy Companies”
- “Ten Best Companies of the Year for 2025” by CEO Views
Because what we do gets results.
Whether you’re struggling in your relationship, feeling lost in life, overwhelmed with anxiety, grieving a loss, or simply longing to reconnect with yourself again… we are here for you.
There is no cost or obligation to speak with one of our Soul Guides.
We will listen deeply, understand what’s happening, and custom design the perfect retreat experience for exactly where you are.
Call us at (928) 204-5988 or request a call today.
That's all for this week!
Wishing you a week filled with coming home to yourself!