We've had so many people come to us for Couples Retreats lately who have been in the situation where one of them had an affair, that I wanted to send this podcast out again that I did in March.
I was just in the process of starting to write this last week, when I went on YouTube (looking for my daily dose of inspirational videos), when the news about Dave Grohl's "secret baby" came out and from what I could tell, social media was going nuts. He and his wife have been married for 21 years and they have three daughters, ages 18-10.
He put out a statement saying:
"I love my wife and my children, and I am doing everything I can to regain their trust and earn their forgiveness."
Gosh, Dave. That's going to take some major work.
Because, you see, the damage is already done.
Your wife is betrayed, your children are betrayed.
I read stuff for about ten minutes and saw that his wife has already hired a divorce attorney.
Kate Hudson (a family friend) posted that she is "disgusted" with him.
His 18 year old daughter even deactivated her social media accounts because she didn't want to deal with all of the fallout and the nastiness.
The damage is done. I know after 40 years of working with people (first as a Family Law Attorney for over 20 years and now doing Sedona Soul Adventures for 22 years), that cheating is the most destructive (but easiest to avoid) problem in a relationship. It can ruin everything. Is it totally impossible to come back from? Not totally, but it's REALLY, REALLY difficult. And the worst part is, all the pain it inflicts on those you love, not just your partner, but your families, your friends, everyone you are in relationship with.
We deal with this issue with so many couples and one of the things that amazes me, is that people just don't seem to realize how completely destructive it is. We've even had a few clients say things like, "What's the big deal? Everybody does it."
I think that maybe one of the things that happens in these situations is that it's just so easy to fall into, and in the moment you're telling yourself, "Oh, it's not that big of a deal," "it doesn't mean anything," "I can get away with it."
That's not the way it works. When people find out (and they almost always do), it inflicts a pain that is almost beyond imagining. I know because I've experienced it myself (luckily, not in this marriage, but in previous relationships).
So please listen to this and get the message of, "Don't do it in the first place! Don't ruin your life and the lives of those you love!"
Watch my podcast - it might change your life and save your relationship.
You can also check out this episode on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.
If this issue has been haunting you, I first want to say that I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for your pain, hurt, and anguish. But I also want to tell you that there's hope. I know it. I've seen it. I've seen the healing take place and people come out the other end.
We're all human. We all make mistakes, and sometimes the mistakes are more vicious and horrendous than we think we can bear, but you can bear it. You can make it through it.
If your partner has cheated, you're at a crossroads. You need to decide what you are going to do. I urge you to get help with this. This is one of the most critical times in your life, and the decisions that you make now will be affecting you (and your family) for the rest of your life.
What do you truly want? What do you need? Now is the time to really be looking for your own healing as well as the healing of the relationship.
Certainly, a retreat (where you immerse yourself in your healing) is the best choice. What makes our retreats so unique and special is that they are customized for each couple and the sessions are all completely private, not in groups.
We spend a lot of time talking with each of you separately before you come to Sedona (or do the retreat virtually At Home) to uncover all of the issues that need to be healed. We then custom design the retreat for exactly what the two of you need.
During your retreat, you'll work in private one-on-one (or two-on-one) sessions. We have over 60 practitioners, many of whom have over 20 years of experience working with couples.
The privacy of the sessions is so key. Many people don't feel comfortable in a group setting and they don't want to talk about their most private issues in front of a bunch of strangers.
There is also a strange dynamic that can sometimes happen in group settings where the group seems to “take the side” of one person, identifying one as the “good guy” and the other as the “bad guy,” and the other person can feel ganged up on. That doesn't help the healing!
The privacy of the one-on-one sessions and the skills of our practitioners truly create a space where both parties feel safe, so you can heal.
We have helped hundreds and hundreds of people come through this difficult time and come out the other side. Give us a call, we can help. Or click below to speak with one of our Soul Guides:
Or if you'd prefer, call us at (928) 204-5988 or request a call from one of our Soul Guides and they will call you.
Sami and Esther say their Couples Retreat was "Amazing. We LOVED how the sessions were private and catered to exactly what we were looking for. We've grown not only as a couple but also individually on our spiritual paths!"
That's what makes all the difference in our Retreat Intensives. They're private and catered to exactly what you need, helping you grow as individuals and as a couple.
Did you know Sedona Soul Adventures was named
“Best of Sedona” for Retreats for 2020-2024,
“Best Marriage Retreats in the US” 2015-2024 and
one of the "11 Best Couples Retreats Around the World"
by Bride's Magazine in 2022? Plus we were named one of
Global Radiance Review's "20 Most Trustworthy Companies of 2023"
It’s because what we do gets results - call us now, let us help. As I always say, if you knew what could happen, you’d be calling right now.
What area of your life do you need help with most right now…
Your relationship?
Finding your life purpose?
Loss of a loved one?
Healing & pampering?
Or is it something else?
Because we’re here for you - and we’re even open on Sunday!
Remember, there's no cost or obligation to speak with a Soul Guide and have them custom-design the perfect retreat just for you in Sedona or At Home.
Call us at (928) 204-5988 or request a call from one of our Soul Guides and they will call you.
Wishing you a week filled with healing!