Stop! Don't Have That Affair!

If you’ve been with me for a while, you know that I was a divorce attorney for over 20 years in Omaha, Nebraska. Now, and for the past 16 years, I’ve been working with couples to help them stay together and have fantastic relationships.
In all these years of working with couples, I can tell you that the most destructive (but easiest to avoid) problem is cheating. It can ruin everything and it can be almost impossible to come back from.
Watch my 6 minute video – it might change your life and save your relationship.

If this issue has been haunting you, I first want to say that I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for your pain, hurt and anguish. But I also want to tell you that there’s hope. I know it. I’ve seen it. I’ve seen the healing take place and people come out the other end.
We’re all human. We all make mistakes, and sometimes the mistakes are more vicious and horrendous than we think we can bear, but you can bear it. You can make it through it.
If your partner has cheated, you’re at a crossroads. You need to decide what you are going to do. I urge you to get help with this. This is one of the most critical times in your life, and the decisions that you make now will be affecting you (and your family) for the rest of your life.
What do you truly want? What do you need? Now is the time to really be looking for your own healing as well as the healing of the relationship.
Certainly, a retreat (where you immerse yourself in your healing) is the best choice. What makes our retreats so unique and special is that they are customized for each couple and the sessions are all private, not in groups.
We spend a lot of time talking to each of you separately before you come to Sedona to uncover all of the issues that need to be healed. We then custom design the retreat for exactly what the two of you need.
During your retreat, you’ll work in private one-on-one (or two-on-one) sessions. We have over 40 practitioners, many of whom have over 20 years of experience working with couples.
The privacy of the sessions is so key. Many people don’t feel comfortable in a group setting and they don’t want to talk about their most private issues in front of a bunch of strangers.
There is also a strange dynamic that can sometimes happen in group settings where the group seems to “take the side” of one person, identifying one as the “good guy” and the other as the “bad guy,” and the other person can feel ganged up on. That doesn’t help the healing!
The privacy of the one-on-one sessions and the skills of our practitioners truly create a space where both parties feel safe.
We have helped hundreds and hundreds of people come through this difficult time and come out the other side. Give us a call, we can help. Or click below to speak with one of our Retreat Guides:
    If you’ve been with me for a while, then you know that I was a divorce attorney for 20 years in Omaha, Nebraska.  
    And since 2002, I’ve had Sedona Soul Adventures where we work with individuals and couples, and many of the couples we work with are on the verge of divorce.
    So I’ve been working with couples since 1979 and I can tell you that one of the most destructive things that can happen to a relationship is infidelity. I’m sure that sounds pretty obvious, but I think in our world today, I don’t hear very many people saying what I’m going to say to you today, which is: Stop! Don’t have that affair.
    When I was a divorce attorney that was an all too common theme, and now with Sedona Soul Adventures, it’s something that we see over and over again, and if this is something that is happening in your life, I want to ask you to stop and really think about what you’re doing.
    You really need to know that once an affair happens, nothing will ever be the same again. Are you willing to risk your entire life for this, because that’s what happens. You’re risking Your marriage. Your children. Your peace of mind.
    You’re even risking your Financial well-being because divorce and its aftermath are very expensive.
    But the biggest thing you’re risking is the trust that you have with your partner. And once that trust is broken, it’s really difficult to put it back together.
    We had a couple here a few weeks ago who were here as a result of the wife having had an affair 10 years ago. 10 years ago! They had done a lot of therapy, but they just could never get past this. She hadn’t been unfaithful again for 10 years, but that wasn’t enough. Once that trust is broken, it’s just so difficult.
    When they came to us, we were their last ditch attempt at saving their marriage. In fact, he had already moved out and filed divorce papers. What we discovered really surprised us and them. We figured out that the problem here was about control. I’ll call them Linda and Mike, but that’s not their real names. Linda grew up in a family where her father was in the military, so he was very rigid and controlling. She was looking for a way to get out from under all that control, found Mike when they were both 19, she got pregnant and they both felt they had to get married.
    Not surprisingly, it turned out that Mike was even more controlling than her father. And Mike admitted that not only was he controlling, but he was also very critical of her. Ten years into the marriage, after all the controlling and criticism, she had an affair. They could both see that this wasn’t the result of her not loving Mike, it had to do with her trying to finally break free from all the control and all the criticism she had had her entire life. When Mike got that, it just shifted everything. He was able to finally forgive her and even more importantly, she was finally able to forgive herself.  
    After their final session, they decided they wanted to do a recommitment ceremony. We did that with them on Oak Creek, it was so beautiful and we all talked about how incredible it was that just the week before Mike had filed for divorce.
    Their marriage was saved but look at all the years of pain and suffering they both endured. Don’t do that. Don’t do it to your family. Don’t do it to yourself.

    I hope this video makes you feel a little happier and if it did, please like, share the video with your friends and subscribe to our channel.
    And if you want a more direct path to getting and staying happy – then go to and get your complimentary copy of The Sedona Guide to Couples Retreats today.
    Or if you’d like to talk to someone about doing a retreat that’s custom designed for you call us at 928/204-5988.
    You can have the life AND the relationship you want – I know it.
    Debra Stangl

    Click Here to Leave a Comment Below 0 comments

    Leave a Reply: