The Habit That's as Dangerous as Smoking (Article Based in Part on Chapter 1 Of Our New Book!)
I'm going to start with a number, because once you hear it, you won't be able to un-hear it.
Researchers at Brigham Young University analyzed 70 different studies, covering more than 3 million people. They found that chronic loneliness raises your risk of dying early by 26 percent.
Twenty-six percent.
That puts loneliness right up there with smoking 15 cigarettes a day as a predictor of how long you're going to live.
(I read that number three times before I believed it.)
Not your diet. Not whether you exercise. Loneliness.
I spent twenty years as a divorce attorney in Omaha, and I watched this exact thing happen, case after case, long before anyone had numbers like these to prove it. People walked into my office exhausted, telling me their relationship was the hardest part of their life. None of us knew yet it was costing them years off their actual life.
In 1999, I had a reawakening in Sedona I still can't fully explain. I came back home and closed my law practice. After 3 years of coming to Sedona to do healing work, I moved permanently to Sedona and opened Sedona Soul Adventures in 2002.
There's a study at Harvard that's been running since 1938. Eighty-some years now, the same researchers (well, generations of them) have followed the same group of people all the way into old age, asking one question: what actually makes a life good?
It didn't matter how much money people made.
It didn't matter their education, their career, or even whether they'd ever gotten married in the first place.
The single biggest predictor of a long, happy life was the quality of their close RELATIONSHIPS — romantic ones, friendships, family, the whole web of people you actually let close to you.
The Blue Zones found the same thing.
I think about those five places around the world where people regularly live past 100. Dan Buettner studied them for years and found nine things those cultures all have in common. He calls them the Power 9. Two of the nine are just about love and connection:
Loved Ones First — they put family and close partnerships ahead of almost everything else.
Right Tribe — they surround themselves with people who pull them toward their healthiest habits, not away from them.
And there's real biology behind all of it, not just statistics. When you're in a relationship that actually nourishes you, your body releases oxytocin, the hormone that calms your nervous system and helps your immune system do its job. Your cortisol, the stress hormone that quietly ages you from the inside, goes DOWN. Even your telomeres, the tiny protective caps on the ends of your DNA, hold up better.
Can you imagine what it does to a body, carrying that loneliness around for years without even knowing it?
And can you imagine the opposite? Waking up every single day next to someone who's actually adding years back onto your life instead of quietly taking them?
That's not a metaphor. That's what the research is actually saying.
This is the whole reason Richard and I do what we do. Not because a great relationship just feels nice, although it absolutely does. It's because the data is now undeniable that it's one of the most important things you will ever build.
So let me ask you something honest:
Is your closest relationship part of your "right tribe," pulling you toward the life you want? Or is it quietly draining you?
Do you feel more connected after a hard conversation with your partner, or further apart?
If the honest answer has you a little uneasy, that's not a verdict. It's information. And it's exactly what we help people work through here, with a team of more than 50 Master Practitioners and a process that's custom-designed around exactly where you are, In Sedona or At Home.
There's no cost or obligation to talk it through with one of our Soul Guides. We're even open on Sunday, because we're here for you.
Tap here to learn more and schedule a consultation with one of our Soul Guides.
High-Vibe Relationship
For a while now, Richard and I have been quietly writing it all down. Everything we've learned about love, about why two good people can drift so far from each other, and about what it actually takes to come back. It's become a book. We're calling it High-Vibe Relationship.
Before it goes out into the world in July, we want to put it in the hands of the people who'll carry it the furthest.
We're calling them the Founding 100.
A small circle of heart-centered people who believe what we believe — that relationships can heal, that families can heal, that love can become conscious and connected again.
As one of the Founding 100, you'll get the book early plus a free digital copy, our "Raise Your Vibration" meditation and tools, private Zoom gatherings with Richard and me, and teachings we won't be releasing anywhere else.
No big following required. No special experience. Just heart, and a real belief in the message.
Want in? Email us at [email protected] and put "INTERESTED: Founding 100" in the subject and we'll send you everything when it’s ready.
- Debra & Richard
Ok, on to a few updates.
Soul Travel
Return to Egypt Total Solar Eclipse Tour | August 2027
Some moments rearrange you. I think this will be one of them.
On August 2, 2027, the sun and the moon will line up in perfect alignment over the ancient temples of Egypt. A total solar eclipse.
And not just any eclipse. This one will hold the sky dark for up to 6 minutes and 23 seconds — the longest total eclipse anyone standing on Earth will be able to witness until the year 2114.
That's 87 years from now.
Most total eclipses give you two or three minutes. The one that crossed America in 2024? Four and a half, at best. This one lasts more than SIX full minutes... directly above temples that were built to honor the sun.
I've stood in those temples before. There's an energy there that's hard to put into words, thousands of years deep.
Can you imagine standing inside that energy as the sky goes dark at midday? I already know it's a moment I'll carry for the rest of my life.
We're still putting the final pieces together. If you feel even a flicker of yes, let us know, and we'll send you everything the moment it's ready.
Solar Eclipse Over the Nile | August 2027
Soul Academy
Inner Journey Breathwork Retreat and Certification Program | September 13-18
Some of you read these emails and feel a quiet tug. Not to be healed, but to help others heal.
If that's you, don't brush past it.
You already know what it feels like when your own weight lifts. The moment you remember who you actually are. The bonds you were sure you'd carry forever, finally loosening.
Now imagine being the one who holds that space for someone else.
That's what this training is for. I did my first breath journey back in 1989 and it changed my life. After more than 40 years of doing this work, I can tell you breathwork is the most elegant and all-encompassing healing modality I've ever found. Everything I learned along the way became the Inner Journey Breath™ process, and it's the cornerstone of every single Sedona Soul Adventures retreat.
Now we train people to facilitate it.
The training is led by our Master Practitioner Gwen Payne, who has guided thousands of people through breath journeys. It begins with a 6-day experiential retreat in Sedona, September 13–18, followed by 9 live online workshops over 5 months where you’ll receive one-on-one coaching from Gwen, just for you. Most certification programs out there take up to two years. You can be fully certified in less than 5 months.
And here's my favorite part. We have almost 9,000 Soul Adventures grads, and they are constantly asking us to help them find a Breathwork practitioner near them. When you're certified, we tell the grads in your area about YOU.
Can you imagine starting this work with people already waiting for it?
Our grad Rachel told us she healed more in that one week with Gwen than in every other modality she'd tried, put together. That's what this process does. And it's why we keep the training small — just 15 spots, so Gwen can train you personally.
If you've been feeling that tug, this is your answer.
Inner Journey Breathwork Certification Program
September 13-18 Retreat + Online Training
Did You Know?
Sedona Soul Adventures was named:
- “Best of Sedona” for Retreats for 2020–2026
- “Best Marriage Retreats in the US” 2015–2026
- One of the “11 Best Couples Retreats Around the World” by Bride's Magazine
- One of Global Radiance Review’s “20 Most Trustworthy Companies”
- “Ten Best Companies of the Year for 2025” by CEO Views
Because what we do gets results.
Whether you’re struggling in your relationship, feeling lost in life, overwhelmed with anxiety, grieving a loss, or simply longing to reconnect with yourself again… we are here for you.
There is no cost or obligation to speak with one of our Soul Guides.
We will listen deeply, understand what’s happening, and custom design the perfect retreat experience for exactly where you are.
Call us at (928) 204-5988 or request a call today.
That's all for this week!
Wishing you a week filled with long life and real connection!