How to Use Your Emotions to get Happy

In this series of videos, I’m talking about concepts from my book The Journey to Happy– How Embracing the Concept that Nothing is wrong can transform your life.
I hope you’ve been following along with these videos about the concept of Nothing is Wrong, because that will make all this make a lot more sense.
So let’s recap…
Everything is energy.
You are creating your reality in every moment (whether you believe it or not).
You are sending out energy and vibrations in every moment.
Quantum Physics is proving that even focusing attention on something changes it.
When you think about something, you get more of it. If you’re worried about something, you bring it faster. If you’re excited about something, you bring it faster.
What you resist persists. What you fight gets bigger and bigger because you are pouring more and more energy into whatever it is that you are fighting.
When you allow yourself to, you can move into the energy of All That Is. You can move into the energy of All Possibilities. From that place, you can discover almost magical possibilities.
Last time I spoke with you about how important the way you think is – As Henry Ford said, “There are 2 types of people in the world, those who think they can and those who think they can’t, and they’re both right!”        
If you want to get happy, you need to start thinking like a person who thinks they can.
And if you want to get really happy, you need to understand your emotions and how important they are because…

Your Emotions Are the Most Powerful Tools You Can Use for Finding Your Way to Happiness

In every moment, our emotions are telling us how we’re feeling, but even more importantly, they’re telling us how we’re flowing energy, how we’re vibrating.
Although these ideas may seem complicated, they’re really very simple. You’re either feeling good, or you’re feeling bad. It’s pretty much as simple as that. We have all of these names for emotions. We have ones that have been labeled “good” – happiness, joy, bliss, contentment, peace – and you have ones that have been labeled “bad” – anger, depression, frustration, rage, worry, anxiety, despondency.
In every moment, you have the ability to move toward good feelings or bad feelings. And this is so important because good feelings move us into the higher energetic vibrations that bring you the things you want – happiness, contentment, peace, and joy. Negative feelings take you in the opposite direction.
So the great news here is that you can change things around.
Listen to this fascinating study…
Sonja Lyubomirsky, is a Professor of Psychology, at the University of California and she studies and does research on happiness. According to her research, 50% of happiness is determined by your “set point,” or genetics, and 10% is determined by your circumstances (finances, health, living situation). The other 40% is based on your own intentional efforts to become happier.
So there are 2 things about this that I find incredibly interesting.
One is that only 10% is determined by your circumstances, like your money situation, because I think so many people believe that there are things that would make them happy – like money, finding the perfect relationship, having a perfect body, etc.
But the most important thing is that 40% is based on your own intentional efforts to become happier. That’s fantastic! That means that you have a whole lot of control over your level of happiness.
So that’s what I’m talking with you about in this series of videos, giving you ideas and processes you can use right now to get happy. Look for these videos to get simple but effective ways that you can take control of that 40%. That can make all the difference.
We had a man here a few years ago and he came to us saying that he was completely controlled by his emotions – he would get angry, he would get upset, he would lash out at this wife, his children, the people he worked with, even his friends. It was ruining his life, his wife was ready to leave, his children were afraid of him, and he had been placed on probation at work, with another outburst they were going to fire him.
His position was that he simply could not control it. He had a bad case of what my friend Jill used to call the “I Can’t Help Its.” But what was even worse, he hated himself every time he lashed out at someone, especially someone he loved.
He had gone to a psychiatrist and more than one therapist. They determined that he was not mentally ill, he was not bipolar, but nothing they did really helped him for long.
When he came to us, we figured out 2 things right away. He had a younger brother who had died in a car accident when he was 6 and his brother was 5. He loved his brother and he had never been able to really grieve for him, his parents just didn’t know how to handle that. And not only that, his parents, in their own unhealed grief, always talked about the brother as though he were a saint, and so John was always made to feel like he could never live up to the memory of his brother. We discovered that he had all this deeply buried anger and rage at is brother for leaving him and also for setting him up as the not-good-enough brother.
He said to us “this is crazy, how can I be angry with my brother for dying, I’m sure he didn’t want to die, it’s insane for me to be angry with him.” From a rational standpoint that’s true, but when you’re 6 years old, you’re not thinking rationally and these things go in so deeply. We did a bunch of processes to release the anger and grief, and at one point, he said he could feel his 6-year-old self finally feeling the grief he had felt all those years ago, and he felt it just lift off him.
We also figured out that he is an Eight on the Enneagram. If you don’t know what that means, that’s fine, just look for my video on the Ennegram. The Eight is the Aggressor, the Fighter. I’m an Eight and what that means is that we’re wired to fight and to protect what we have. It’s not a character defect, it’s a basic wiring that he came in with. When he found this out about himself it was as if a light bulb went on. He said, “this explains so much about everything that has happened in my life.” He dropped all the judgment he had about himself
So before he came to us, he was filled with all this anger and rage that he didn’t even know was there, and he hated himself because of the way he acted and he believed he had no control over any of it. When he left, the anger and rage were gone and he had a new deep love for himself. He went home and started using the simple tools we gave him to use when he would notice his emotions starting to turn negative or hostile. He discovered how even with just stopping to take a deep breath, he just didn’t go there anymore. You can imagine how everyone around him reacted. He brought his wife out to do a couples retreat, he had both of his adult children do retreats and even 2 people from his work came to do retreats. They saw the incredible changes in him and they all said “I want some of that.”
So if you would like some of that, I want to encourage you to reach out to us. Come to Sedona and let us custom design a retreat for just exactly what you need.
Go to SedonaRetreatGuide.com and get your complimentary copy of The Sedona Guide to Spiritual Retreats today.
Or better still, call us at (928) 204-5988.
You can have the life AND the relationship you want – I know it.