A Radical New Way to Forgiveness

Forgiveness can be a hard one. I know, because sometimes it can be a hard one for me.
I love what Nelson Mandela said:

“Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.”

In this video, I talk about a radical new way to learn to forgive. It’s helped me a lot. I hope it can help you.

I hope this helped, and if you got value from this video, please like, share the video and subscribe to our channel.

One of the hardest things in life is learning how to deal with a situation when someone has hurt you. Especially if it’s someone who you love and care about, and who you thought loved and cared about you. Like a parent, a spouse, or a friend.
In this video and the next one, I’m going to talk about two different processes which have made a huge difference in my life. I don’t know how you are, but for me, forgiveness has been a hard thing to learn in my life. I’m an 8 on the Enneagram – if you don’t know what that means it’s okay, we’ll be talking about it in later videos. But for here what that means is that as an 8, my emotional identity is hard-wired to hold grudges and not forgive people. And I’ve discovered over the years, that’s a recipe for a very unhappy life. So in the next two videos I’m going to give you two amazing processes.
The first one is called Radical Forgiveness and it was developed by the author Colin Tipping. His book is great.
The premise of this book is that before we’re born, we make soul agreements with each other, designed to aid in our soul’s healing and progression. Our souls get together and have this cosmic meeting – think of it as a big conference in the sky.
In this pre-lifetime conference, soul agreements are made – “Okay, last time you killed me, so this time I’ll kill you,” or “Last time you killed me, but this time I’ll do something to break the cycle (such as forgiveness) so we’re off of this particular karmic wheel.”
Just imagine for a moment that it’s true, then think about your relationships. What if the person who did something terrible to you was only doing it because of an agreement that you both made prior to coming into this lifetime? It’s an arrangement that you (that Highest part of you) not only agreed to, but also considered to be in your best interest for the highest evolution of your soul.
Wow! That turns everything on its head.
Suddenly, the people who are “doing” things to you, are actually giving you a huge gift – the gift of awareness and higher consciousness.
Even better, once you see it this way, you can stop it. “Okay, I got the lesson, I don’t need any more of that.”
So who do you need to forgive? Has someone cheated you? Maybe you cheated them in a past life? Has your mate cheated on you? That’s a really big one and one that many people can’t ever forgive, but think about it. If it’s true that virtually everything that happens to us is the result of agreements that our souls make before we even come onto the planet, maybe you need to re-think your decision to not forgive your spouse.
Understand, I’m not saying you don’t hold people accountable and you let everyone walk all over you. I’m talking about you making the decision to whether or not to hold onto grudge, hold onto the negative energy, hold onto the energy of “I won’t ever forgive you.” Because I’ll tell you, that energy is tearing you apart; that energy eats away at you.
Don’t forgive the other person to let them off the hook. Forgive them so that you can let yourself off the hook. Forgive them so that you don’t have that horrible energy consuming you all the time.
Nelson Mandela was put in prison for over 37 years. When he was released he said, “As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew that if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.” You can keep yourself in prison, or you can give yourself the freedom that comes with peace. Mandela also said, “Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.”
We had a couple here last year who came to us because the wife had been unfaithful and the husband simply could not get over it, which is completely understandable. The retreat was a last ditch effort to save the marriage. As we worked with them, we realized that she had married someone just like her father — very judgmental, very critical, not demonstrative, and when she couldn’t get love and approval from her husband, after a few years she went and got it somewhere else. Even more amazing, was that this exact thing had happened to his father. When they both realized they had been playing out this pattern and playing out the same situation as his parents, they were both flabbergasted. He saw what his criticism and lack of demonstrating his love had done. He went into total forgiveness with her and with his own mother. She was finally able to forgive herself. Their marriage was completely re-born through this forgiveness.
Who do you need to forgive? Your husband, your wife, your parents, your friend? God? Yourself? It may take more than a simple decision like the one Nelson Mandela made, but there is peace on the other side of that decision, I promise.
I hope this helped, and If you got value from this video, please like, share the video and subscribe to our channel.
If forgiveness is an issue for you, we can help. Like the couple who came to us, you may not realize all the layers involved. Connect with us — go to SedonaRetreatGuide.com and get your complimentary copy of The Sedona Guide to Spiritual Retreats.
Or if you’d like to talk to someone about doing a retreat that’s custom designed for you call us at 928/204-5988.
You can have the life or relationship you want. I know it.

    Debra Stangl

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