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The #1 Secret to Keeping Love Alive (It’s Not Communication)

Happy Valentine’s Day! The day of love and lovers.

In the very recent past I have learned from one of my practitioners what he and I (and my husband) have all come to believe is the #1 thing that you either have or don’t have in a relationship, that makes it or breaks it… and that is…

Are you nurturing each other?

Does your beloved nurture you?

Are you nurturing your beloved?

It seems like a simple question, but it’s not at all. Because it’s about a way of being. It’s a decision you’re making in every moment.

Do you truly want to nurture your beloved?

Do you want to nurture them in the way they want to be nurtured?

Or are you constantly picking at them, criticizing them and thinking nasty thoughts about them?

As most of you know, I was a divorce attorney for over 20 years and now I’ve done couples work in Sedona for over 17 years. It appears to me that relationships are either mainly in the “I love you” zone or the “you drive me crazy” zone. And it seems like once you’ve rounded the corner into the “you drive me crazy” zone, there’s not much going back unless you really do something about it.


There are basic problems that seem to show up a lot when the nurturing factor isn’t there. And in my experience, there are things that seem unique to women and unique to men. This is also borne out in John Grey’s Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus series of books (so please don’t write me that I’m stereotyping — I’ve watched this for over 37 years!).

If you’re a woman, do you…

  • complain a lot to your partner?
  • complain a lot about your partner to other people?
  • take everything over because he won’t do the stuff you want him to do in the way you want him to do it?

Sorry, ladies, I see you do this a lot, especially the taking over part, because you’re so darn competent!

If you’re a man, are…

  • you not engaging emotionally with your partner?
  • there times when you simply tune your partner out?
  • there times when you sit and listen, and then start rattling off unasked-for- advice?

Sorry, guys, I see you do this a lot, because you are about helping your woman (but it doesn’t help when she just wants to unload).

These are danger signs. Big signals telling you, “STOP! You’ve got to do something here.”

If you’re a woman, put some brakes on the complaining and stop doing everything because he’s not doing it right.

If you’re a man, start listening and start really engaging emotionally. Easier said than done, right?

The biggest thing is, you both have to make this basic decision –

“I love this person and I want to nurture them.”

What’s that going to take?

  • Willingness
  • Dropping your resentments about what’s happened in the past
  • Coming back into loving connection

Again, I know that these are all easier said than done. But if you’re finding that you’re out of the Nurturing Zone, you can recognize that and you can do something about it. You literally can shift everything around by making the simple decision –

“I want to nurture this person and I’m going to figure out how to do that.”

Like I said, this is easier said than done. Letting go of past resentments is usually pretty difficult for both parties and that’s usually what’s holding one or both of you back from really getting into and staying in the Nurturing Zone.

Or maybe you don’t have clarity about what you truly want. It’s hard to go out of your way to do something for the other person when you’re not 100% sure that you want to be with them.

Let us help you get back into the Nurturing Zone. Come to Sedona and do a Couples Retreat. Give it to yourselves as a Valentine’s Day present. Wouldn’t that be the most amazing present you’ve ever had? Coming back into the love and connection that brought you together in the first place?
Call us and connect with one of our Angel Guides. They’ll connect with both of you separately and really dig deep to discover what’s keeping you out of the Nurturing Zone. Then they’ll put together a retreat that’s custom designed for exactly what you need and want, and to bring you back into the love, connection and sizzle that you crave.

Or if you’d prefer, call us toll-free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada). For our friends outside the US and Canada, call 01 928-204-5988 or click here and one of our Retreat Guides will call you. 

You might also like to download your free copy of our “Sedona Guide to Couples Retreats.” That will give you a real idea of what we do and how it works. But even if you don’t do this, please – for the sake of your relationship – do SOMETHING to get yourself back into the Nurturing Zone.

You can have the life AND the relationship you want – I know it.

How to Find Out Who You Really Are

For so many years, I hated myself because I would get angry. I somehow thought that if I was REALLY a spiritual person (and by that I meant not a phony spiritual person, because I had seen a lot of those), then I would never get angry at anyone, ever. The worst part was, I would hate myself when I did get angry and I would tell myself all kinds of terrible things about myself that simply weren’t true.
Then I found the Enneagram and discovered that I’m an Eight, and I’m wired to get angry, but I’m also wired to be loving, caring, strong and compassionate. The Enneagram opened up a whole new world for me in understanding and having compassion for myself and even better, having understanding and compassion for others.
This might be some of the most valuable information you’ve ever received, so watch the video now:
The basic idea of the Enneagram is that there is Nothing Wrong with you and there’s nothing wrong with anyone else, we’re all just wired differently to behave the way that we do. This is a big one to wrap your head around and I can hear you out there saying, “No, Debra that can’t be true, this person is terrible and this person is a liar, and this guy is a jerk.”
AND I WANT TO PUT IN A BIG CAVEAT HERE AROUND THE QUESTION:
What if a person has done something, like broken the law or is abusive? Isn’t that wrong?
In our discussion that Nothing Is Wrong, I’m not advocating that we go through life without boundaries, rules or laws. I was an attorney for over 20 years, and I have a deep belief in the rule of law. People who have violated our beliefs of what is moral or ethical (murder, rape, violence, theft, etc.) are to be held accountable, and their actions are not to be condoned.
But here, I’m talking about you. You and the people who are around you – your husband, your wife, your children, your friends, the normal everyday people that you run into, the people who are in your life.
And the concept that I’m talking about is that when we drop judgment about ourselves and others, it’s amazing what happens.
As Christ said, “Love thy neighbor as thyself.”
But that’s so hard to do when this person and that person are acting like such jerks!
This is why I love the Enneagram. Because it teaches us that we are wired to be who we are and everyone else is wired to be who they are. And it moves us into compassion, which allows you to shift how you look at yourself and others.
The Enneagram originated in the Middle East hundreds of years ago and was brought to the West by the Crusaders. Because monks kept the process alive during the Dark Ages, many Roman Catholics are aware of the Enneagram.
The Enneagram is a system for deeply understanding your basic personality…
What makes you tick?
What drives you?
What makes others tick and drives them?
It helps you to see that your quirks and patterns are just part of who you are and how you’re wired.
Here’s how it works. You take a test. It tells you which number you are – there are 9 numbers. I prefer to use the word “Style,” because people generally don’t like to be called “Numbers.”
Each Style represents a deep belief that an individual uses to help navigate their life, but these beliefs are actually lies that are holding the self back from a connection with happiness, love, and contentment. You aren’t telling yourself this lie consciously; it’s an unconscious belief that is usually buried very deeply. When you discover the lies that you are telling yourself, it’s as though the entire world opens up. When you discover the lies other people tell themselves, it brings you to a deep level of understanding and compassion for them.
When you are still operating your life based on a lie, you are operating as your unhealed self. Once you see the truth, you can move toward healing.
This information is vital because it tells you how you are wired. It helps you see that some of your quirks and patterns are a deep part of who you are and that you don’t necessarily choose them. It doesn’t mean that you don’t accept responsibility – quite the contrary. By taking total responsibility, you can take this information and use it for transformation.
In an interesting book I read about the Enneagram, the author said that there is an “initial shock” in finding out exactly who you are – and he’s exactly right. It was a shock to find out not only how I do things, but to also discover how other people do things.
And that’s another interesting part. I see all of the time how almost everyone assumes that others will react in the same way that they do to a particular situation. Nothing could be further from the truth. In a small group that we organized around the Enneagram in Sedona, we made a point to talk about particular situations and our individual reactions to them. I was stunned to discover how differently people responded. A situation that would make me incredibly angry, for example, would be absolutely no problem for someone else.
At this point, I want you to take the test. The information is here on the video for the website you go to to take the free test. I don’t want your test to be influenced by any of the things I’m about to say in talking about the different Styles.
Go here to take the test now.
If you hit a question where you’re not sure, answer it as you would have at the age of 25. If you’re younger than 25, just answer how you feel, if you’re older than 25, answer it as you would have at age 25.
Stop and take the test. It will take about 10 minutes.

Start here after you’ve taken the test.
Did you take it? If you didn’t, stop and take it because it’s really, really important.
Now you know what number, or what I will call your Style, you are.
What I’m going to do is go through each of the Styles and talk about the healed aspects and the unhealed aspects. Now – I don’t know anyone who is completely healed or completely unhealed. We kind of go back and forth at different times.
It’s also important to understand that there are no good or bad numbers. Nothing Is Wrong with any of the Numbers or Styles. It’s just the way that we’re all wired to navigate the world. Everyone is different and everyone is uniquely fascinating.
Style One – The Perfectionist
The lie they are telling themselves is, “Everything has to be perfect for me to be happy.”
It’s easy to see what a set up this is for having an unhappy life, if you are telling yourself that “Everything has to be perfect for me to be happy.”

  • Unhealed Ones are: critical, controlling, anxious
  • Healed Ones are: ethical, honest, high-principled, ambitious

You know if you are a perfectionist or if you have one in your life.
Style Two – The Helper
The lie they are telling themselves is, “I have to do things for people for them to love me.”

  • Unhealed Twos are: passive aggressive, possessive, manipulative, irrational
  • Healed Twos are: warm, loving, caring, giving, adaptable

Healed Twos are fantastic friends — they will do things for you and care for you, but if they’re unhealed, they give with a hook… they’re always expecting something back and they won’t tell you what they’re expecting back. They’re the ones who say, “If you really love me, you know what I want and I shouldn’t have to tell you.”
And the Two’s out there are sitting there going, “Well, yeah,” and the rest of us are going, “No, tell us what you want, we love you, we want to give it to you.”
Style Three – The Achiever
The lie they are telling themselves is, “I must work hard, do well, and look good to be happy.”

  • Unhealed Threes are: driven, dishonest, pretentious, vain, consumed by what others think about them
  • Healed Threes are: optimistic, efficient, energetic, practical

These are the people who have to have designer everything, but they are also the most social and a lot of fun, and usually very, very successful, because they’re achievers.
Style Four – The Romantic Adventurer
The lie they are telling themselves is, “I must be different and special to matter.”

  • Unhealed Fours are: depressed, moody, self-absorbed, temperamental
  • Healed Fours are: romantic, expressive, supportive, compassionate

Fours think they’re special and they think that nobody gets them; healed fours are very romantic and creative.
Style Five – The Investigator
The lie they are telling themselves is, “I must know everything about everything in order to be happy.”

  • Unhealed Fives are: stubborn, negative, secretive, distant, arrogant about what they know
  • Healed Fives are: independent, inventive, wise, perceptive

Einstein was a 5.
Style Six – The Loyalist
The lie they are telling themselves is, “By being loyal to someone or something else, I will be taken care of.”

  • Unhealed Sixes are: anxious, controlling, paranoid, insecure
  • Healed Sixes are: loyal, practical, responsible, self-reliant, team players

Sixes are the most anxious, I mean think about it – if you believe your happiness lies with someone else, that can put you in a state of constant anxiety. But if they’re healed they are wonderful team players; they are great employees.
Style Seven – The Enthusiast
The lie they are telling themselves is, “I must avoid pain to be happy.”                                                                                      

  • Unhealed Sevens are: possessive, manic, restive, narcissistic, scattered and don’t want to look at problems
  • Healed Sevens are: spontaneous, versatile, enthusiastic

Sevens are the Happiest of the Styles. One of my good friends is a 7 and she is so much fun to be around.
Style Eight – The Aggressor
The lie they are telling themselves is, “I have to fight for everything I have.”

  • Unhealed Eights are: angry, aggressive, confrontational, grudge holders, think they are right about everything
  • Healed Eights are: courageous, direct, self-reliant, self-confident, decisive

I’m an 8. I’ll talk more about that later.
Style Nine – The Peacemaker
The lie they are telling themselves is, “I must have peace at any price.”

  • Unhealed Nines are: stubborn, obsessive, judgmental, complacent, passive-aggressive, defensive
  • Healed Nines are: creative, accepting, trusting, supportive

Nines are doing everything they can to control situations so as not to disturb the peace

So that’s a lot to take in. Sit with it a little while and in the next video, I’m going to talk to you about how all this can help you and I’ll tell you all about How I Went from Being an Unhappy Eight and Stopped Fighting with Everyone.
I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did and if you got value from this video, please like it, share the video with your friends and subscribe to our channel.

And if you want a more direct path to getting and staying happy – then go to SedonaRetreatGuide.com and get your complimentary copy of The Sedona Guide to Couples Retreats today.
Or if you’d like to talk to someone about doing a retreat that’s custom designed for you call us at 928/204-5988.
You can have the life AND the relationship you want – I know it.

Do you have a Divine Connection?

Do you feel happy or unhappy?

The answer might actually come down to a different question —

Are you connected or disconnected?

I believe all of us come onto the planet with a divine spark, a divine connection. And then for many of us (myself included), it can get muddied up along the way as we go through life. And once that happens, it can be virtually impossible to live a really happy, contented and connected life.

Watch my video to find out about your Divine Connection and what you can do to reclaim it.

If you’ve been following along, you know that in these series of videos, I’m talking about concepts from my book, The Journey to Happy– How Embracing the Concept that Nothing is wrong can transform your life.
In my book, I talk a lot about Connection, because I believe that’s what’s causing a huge amount of problems that people have today. People feel disconnected from other people, even from their own families… they feel disconnected from the larger society… many people even feel disconnected from themselves, and I say that because so many people hate themselves or dislike themselves. 
And then there’s the disconnect that results in all the negativity it feels like we’re surrounded by all the time.
What causes that? Why do people come at things from either a “glass half empty” or “glass half full” point of view? We know from the Enneagram (which I talk about in some other videos) that some of this is about how we’re wired, but there are also things that happen to us as we go through life.
My own personal belief is that when we come onto the planet, we all come here – and I mean all of us come here – with a divine spark, a divine connection.
The Bible says that we are created in the image and likeness of God. Hinduism teaches that our Souls are Godlike.
I see this Divine connection that we all have as this beautiful jewel that is perfect and strong, and cannot be destroyed.
But then stuff starts to happen.
Mud & Gunk get splattered all over until all we can feel is the mud and the gunk
until it gets buried so deeply that we don’t even realize that it’s there anymore. All we can see and feel is the mud and the gunk. We lose that connection to the Divine and that feels really awful. It’s in that disconnected state that people can do some pretty terrible things.
I don’t know if this story is true, or just a teaching that I’ve heard many times, but I love this story… A monastery in Asia had a large, beautiful statue of the Buddha made entirely of pure gold. There was a war and the monks knew that their monastery was about to be invaded. They decided that to save the statue, they would cover it over with mud and make it look like a simple ceramic statue. Many years passed and after a few generations, everyone completely forgot that the statue was made of gold. One day the statue was being moved and it was dropped. The stucco cracked. And underneath was the beautiful brilliant gold!
I especially love two things about this story. The primary thing is that the “real” Buddha, the golden one, is hidden underneath all of the gunk. Just like with you, the real (golden) you is underneath all that gunk. The other part is that it takes a cracking in the exterior coat of gunk for the real you to burst forth and be seen.
I believe the trials and tribulations we all experience are just a set up for the cracking to take place. I had to reach my lowest point before I started to crack. Alcoholics Anonymous talks about hitting “rock bottom” before addicts are willing to do something to heal their addiction. The Bible talks about God being able to more easily come through “the cracked vessel.”
If you are reading this and are in a place in your life right now where everything seems to be wrong, let me tell you that I feel your pain. That’s exactly where I was almost 20 years ago when I first came to Sedona. Every area of my life was messed up – work, marriage, money, body… I know how awful it is. I know what it feels like to not want to drag yourself out of bed to face another day.
But the truth is, sometimes that can be the most incredible place to start, being the cracked vessel, because it means you can allow your Divine Connection to get activated again.
Because – and here’s the important part – it’s always been there, it’s never gone away, it’s always been with you. It’s that beautiful jewel that is perfect and strong, and cannot be destroyed.
So how can you connect back up with it? The first part is to start believing it’s there in first place.
Can you do that? Can you take that Leap of faith?
I’m not saying you have to do a complete 180 degree turn here, but could you just try this idea on for size? Because I’ll tell you, there’s a lot of relief when you do that. Just sit with the idea that you have this Divine Connection, that it’s really there and you just to have to connect with it.
And then you’re probably going to need to do something with clearing the mud and gunk… I’ve given you a bunch of processes in these series of videos for how to start doing that with things like Discover the Patterns, Enneagram, and Meditation.
But if you have some heavy duty mud and gunk like I did, you may want to think about coming out Sedona to do a retreat, because we’ll clean that gunk out and bring you back into connection in just a matter of days.
We had a woman here a few years ago who told us, “I hate everything. I hate my husband, I hate my kids, I hate my job. I hate everything. And I’m mad at everybody.”
When we dug a little deeper, we discovered that what was really going on was that she was mad at God. She had two really wonderful, loving parents and they were both killed in a car accident when she was young. She was in the car and she was hurt, but she wasn’t killed. That, of course, completely shattered her world and it resulted in her being so angry because, of course, her thinking was, how could a loving God have done this to her? He must hate her, so okay, she hated him right back.
She also had this huge amount of grief and guilt over the fact that she lived and her parents died, and that resulted in her hating herself for having survived. So here she was, walking around all these years with all this mud and gunk, all this hate, guilt and shame. Of course her Divine Connection felt like it was completely gone.
We did a bunch of sessions with her to clear out the mud and gunk. First to help her to see that the car accident was not her fault. She of course knew that mentally, but before this, she didn’t really get it on a deep level, she didn’t really believe it.
And then we helped her to clear out all that hate, guilt and shame.
But the best part came during her Inner Journey with Breath. The breath took her into the altered state and suddenly, she was there with both her parents. She told me it reminded her of the Harry Potter book where he saw both of his parents in the mirror. She totally felt their presence and was completely filled with love from both of them. But then she said something else happened…
She was filled with this deeper knowing, this deeper love, and she said she felt what seemed to her to be the presence of God. I asked her to describe it and she said there weren’t really any words, that the best way to describe it was that she felt completely filled up with love, that this huge hole that had been there forever felt like it was filled. She was sobbing during the breath journey and she was crying when she was telling me about it because it was so incredibly beautiful.
She came out saying, “It’s so weird, I came here hating everyone, including myself and God, and I’m leaving here just full of love for everyone and everything.” She had made that connection with that Divine part of herself. That was a few years ago and it still feels very real and strong for her.
We all have that – we just have to believe it and take steps to connect with it.

I hope this video makes you feel a little happier and if it did, please like, share the video with your friends and subscribe to our channel.
And if you want a more direct path to getting and staying happy – then go to SedonaRetreatGuide.com and get your complimentary copy of The Sedona Guide to Couples Retreats today.
Or if you’d like to talk to someone about doing a retreat that’s custom designed for you call us at 928/204-5988.
You can have the life AND the relationship you want – I know it.

How to Have a Personal Breakthrough Just by Breathing

I discovered Breath Journeys in 1991. It is one of the most powerful processes I have ever done and I continue to use it to this day. It is a huge part of the retreats that we do here at Sedona Soul Adventures because people have such huge awakenings when they do it.

But did you know that a psychiatrist in the United States was part of developing the connected breathing process because he was trying to replicate the incredible, spiritual experiences his patients had with LSD before it became illegal? Watch my video, I think you’ll find it fascinating.

    In these series of videos, I’m talking about concepts from my book
    “The Journey to Happy– How Embracing the Concept that Nothing is wrong can transform your life”…
    Processes that can help you feel a lot happier right away and help you to flip the switch into a better feeling state.
    In the last video, I spoke about how doing 5 minutes of deep breathing every day, and doing deep breathing throughout the day, can really make a difference in your life.
    Today, I want to tell you about a very special kind of breath that has literally changed my life and changed the lives of thousands of people.
    It’s a form of breath that I call Inner Journey Breath. You might find similar methods that are called Rebirthing, Connected Breath or Holotropic Breathwork, all of these are somewhat similar.
    It’s a process where you do connected breathing, meaning there is no stopping between the inhale and exhale and what happens when you do this is you do not hyperventilate. Instead, if the process is done correctly, you can literally go into an altered state of consciousness. 
    I first found this in 1989, but the process that I first found was called Rebirthing. These processes were pioneered and developed by Leonard Orr and Sondra Ray for Rebirthing and Stanislav Grof, who is a psychiatrist. Grof had used LSD with his clients when it was still legal and his clients had incredible, transformation experiences going into these altered states.
    One of the people who used LSD in this way was Cary Grant, of all people, and he talks about how life changing it was for him. After LSD was outlawed, Grof believed there had to be a way to replicate the experience and he started studying the Vedas and other texts, and learned about the yogis in India who were able to do such incredible things with their breath. When he did this with his patients, they had absolutely remarkable experiences.
    So… What happens? It’s different for everyone.
    In over 25 years that I’ve been doing breathwork, I’ve experienced:

    • Seeing visions
    • Release of emotional pain
    • Release of energetic blocks
    • Release of birth trauma
    • Release of physical pain
    • Connection with my High Self
    • Connection with my Angels & Guides
    • Connection with souls who have crossed over
    • Receive information on problems and situations
    • Sense of peace
    • Enormous gratitude
    • Deep knowing that All is Well and Nothing Is Wrong

    Over the past 16 years, we have developed a process here at Sedona Soul Adventures that we call Inner Journey with Breath. It’s a very important process that we do with almost everyone who comes here to do a Soul Adventure because it’s so incredibly powerful.
    We have had so many people over the years who have had such incredible experiences because for many of them, it is the first time in their lives that they have truly experienced the Divine – feeling like God is truly with them and part of them, and truly experienced their own Divine nature.
    We had a medical doctor here a number of years ago and her breath journey was just out of this world! She saw visions, she actually communicated with her mother who had crossed over, and then she saw and felt and truly experienced the perfection that was her. She went home and told her other doctor friends about what had happened and they all said, “They must have given you a drug, did you drink anything during the session?” And she said yes, she drank water and they said, “Yes! They must have slipped LSD into your water.” Which, of course, we did not do.
    Another woman got finished with her breath journey and at the end as she was talking about her experience, she said “I felt like I levitated.” Her practitioner teased her a little and said, “Yes, you were about 3 ft off the ground,” and she said, “I knew it!” She really felt that she had levitated.
    Another person when she got done, lifted up the mat she was lying on and said where is the electrical cord that made the mat vibrate so much. She was vibrating so much that she was sure that there must have been electricity making it happen.
    But for me, the most wonderful occurrences are those when people really experience that highest part of themselves, and when they really experience the Divine on all levels – physical, mental, emotional and spiritual.
    Have you ever had an experience like that? There really aren’t words to describe it.
    I first discovered this back in 1989 at a really low time in my life. I had recently gotten divorced, I had jumped immediately into another relationship that was disastrous, I was working way too hard… but the biggest thing I suddenly discovered was my Co-dependency. One of my good friends actually staged an intervention and I entered a 12-step Co-dependency treatment program. It was an outpatient program that was supposed to go for 4 weeks, but at the end of 4 weeks they decided I needed to do at least 6.
    It helped me a lot ,but at the end of the 6 weeks I just felt terrible. They kept telling us “you will always be like this” and that was just really depressing. I decided to treat myself to a massage with a new therapist I had heard about. I went for the massage and told her what had been going on with me and it turned out she was actually a Rebirthing practitioner. I did one session with her…I went into the altered state, I experienced the Divine and my own perfection, and I can hardly describe the Joy and Love that was just suddenly gushing through me.
    Back then, it was felt that you needed to do the process once per week for 10 weeks with a certified practitioner – and I did that with her. Every week my joy and happiness was just increasing exponentially.
    One of the after care things I was doing from my Co-dependency treatment was to go to meetings each week of Adult Children of Alcoholics. Every week we would each go around the circle talking about how we were doing and everyone every week had the same old stories, the same struggles and the same difficulties.
    After the very first breathwork, I described my experience and then the next week I talked about it again. After the third week of gushing about all the love, joy and happiness I was feeling, the person next to me said, “Well, I’m not feeling as good as DEBRA is,” and after the next week, I realized I just couldn’t go back there again. Everyone else was still stuck; none of them were interested in even trying the breathwork, they were just interested in staying stuck. Which was fine, it’s a free country, everybody gets to be just as miserable as they want.
    But I had found what seemed to me to be the path to everything I was looking for and that was over 25 years ago. I still do breathwork regularly, in fact I just did it again a few weeks ago. It’s amazing to me how different it is every single time.
    But the best part is that this has become a cornerstone of the work that we do here at Sedona Soul Adventures. People have such incredible experiences and then we teach them how to continue to do it at home. I love it so much when someone emails me and tells me about an amazing experience they’ve had.
    Don’t start doing this on your own. A breath journey is not something that you should do on your own. It’s not like the yogic breath or the breath of fire that many people are familiar with in yoga. It’s a connected breath and one that is designed to take you into an altered state, so doing it alone when you do it for the first time, is never recommended. In fact, Dr. Grof believes no one should ever do it alone because so many people have abandonment issues that come up, that when they come out of the altered state and they’re alone, that can be traumatic.
    The most important is to do the process with someone who is specially trained in doing this process. If you want to find someone in your area, try searching “Breathwork practitioner” on Google and hopefully you can find someone.
    Or even better, come to Sedona and experience the Breath Journey as part of your Soul Adventures. We have so many fantastic breathwork practitioners, they will lead you on an incredible journey.

    I hope this video makes you feel a little happier and if it did, please like, share the video with your friends and subscribe to our channel.
    And if you want a more direct path to getting and staying happy – then go to SedonaRetreatGuide.com and get your complimentary copy of The Sedona Guide to Couples Retreats today.
    Or if you’d like to talk to someone about doing a retreat that’s custom designed for you call us at 928/204-5988.
    You can have the life AND the relationship you want – I know it.

    You Don’t Have to be “Perfect” All the Time – Here's What to do Instead…

    How are your New Year’s resolutions going? If you’re like 82% of Americans, you’ve already broken them, but no worries!

    Watch my new video on “How to Use the 51% Rule,” because it’s all about how you don’t have to be “perfect” all the time to have a fabulous, amazing, rewarding life. Isn’t that a relief?

    And I think you’ll love the simple things you can do to “stay in the 51%.” Have a listen.

      Today I want to talk to you about the 51% Rule.
      When I first started on my spiritual path, one of the things that I was lucky enough to figure out was what I call, the 51% Rule. Simply stated, the 51% Rule acknowledges that, with all this stuff you’re trying to do and this energy you’re trying to move, if you just stay on the path of your Journey to Happy at least 51% of the time, you’re going to have an amazing, incredible life.
      You don’t have to be perfect. Sometimes you’ll be at 60%, other times at 20% – because you’re human. But, as you learn to stay in the energy of Excited Expectation a majority of the time, you’ll hit the tipping point and be over the edge.
      And when that happens, you’ll have momentum on your side.
      For many people, when they first start out on their spiritual path, sometimes they think, “Oh, this is going to take forever, and I’ll never be able to do all this all the time.”
      And that’s right. You won’t be able to do all this all the time.
      But here’s the good news. So much of all this is about taking yourself off the hook. You don’t have to be perfect all the time.
      And remember, Nothing is Wrong if you aren’t perfect all the time.
      If you can hold yourself in the place of feeling good at least 51% of the time, your life will start to transform dramatically. And the best part is, the percentages even out — meaning that there will be times you will be feeling at 65%, sometimes even at 85%, so even if you mainly stay in the 51-55%, you will start maintaining that vibration of wonderful, juicy, delicious joy!
      The trick is to not dip back into the 49% very often. So have an arsenal of things ready to do when you start to feel yourself go into that dip. Things that kind of automatically make you feel good, or at least a little better. Things that can flip the switch into a better feeling state. That’s all it takes, just feeling a little better. Don’t expect (or demand) that you must go into total bliss and joy, just do something, ANYTHING to make yourself feel a little better.
      Here are some things that work for me:

      • What are you grateful for? Writing down a list of things I’m grateful for and thinking about each thing. This is actually one of the Stepping Stones I talk about my the book, keeping a Gratitude Journal.
      • Pet your dog or cat. Petting my dog and feeling a huge surge of love for her always makes me feel great.
      • Listen to music. Listening to certain songs that just always make me feel better. The old Johnny Nash song, “I Can See Clearly Now” does it for me every time
      • Watch movies (or something else guaranteed to make you laugh). If I’m at home, there are certain movies that just crack me up and I’ll put them on and fast forward to the scenes that make me laugh out loud.
      • Watch YouTube Videos. There are some videos on YouTube (usually involving babies, cats, or dogs doing something funny) that make me laugh and start to feel better.
      • Meditate. Sometimes meditating (particularly a guided meditation) can make me feel great, but if I find my mind going a mile-a-minute, I stop the meditation and move onto something else (like music). If it’s not making you feel a little better right away, try something else. That’s why I recommend having an arsenal of different tactics.
      • Go outside. Going outside in the sunshine and appreciating the beauty of the sun (or the stars) and how incredible and big life is, always helps me.
      • Get moving. Dancing and really moving (I recommend being alone for this!). What does the bumper sticker say? Dance as if no one is watching. That really moves the energy!

      What are things that work for you? Have an arsenal of things that you can use to keep you in the feel good energy most of the time.
      And remember, take yourself off the hook. You don’t have to be perfect 100% of the time, you just have to get to 51% and stay there most of the time. That’s the Journey to Happy.

      I hope this video makes you feel a little happier and if it did, please like, share the video with your friends and subscribe to our channel.
      And if you want a more direct path to getting and staying happy – then go to SedonaRetreatGuide.com and get your complimentary copy of The Sedona Guide to Couples Retreats today.
      Or if you’d like to talk to someone about doing a retreat that’s custom designed for you call us at 928/204-5988.
      You can have the life AND the relationship you want – I know it.

      One Thing You Can Do Now Right Now to Get Happy

      Today I want to talk to you about something you can do right now to get happy. It’s very simple, but it’s one of the most effective things I know to get happy and stay happy.

      I’d love to have you try it and let me know how it works for you.

      I hope this helped, and if you got value from this video, please like, share the video and subscribe to our channel.

      I’m talking with you today about One thing you can do right now to get happy.
      In this series of videos, I’m talking about concepts from my book, The Journey to Happy– How Embracing the Concept that Nothing is wrong can transform your life.
      I hope you’ve been following along with these videos about the concept of Nothing is Wrong, because that will make all this make a lot more sense.
      To recap, it’s not what’s happening to us that is causing most of the problems in our lives, it’s our reactions and responses to what’s happening:

      • How we’re thinking about it
      • How we’re talking about it
      • How we’re feeling about it

      What  I’ve found in my own life, and with the thousands of people that we’ve helped through Sedona Soul Adventures, is that the more I drop my resistance, the more I am able to go with the flow, and the more things happen that are almost miraculous.
      It’s a shift out of the energy of “Everything is Wrong” and into the energy of “Nothing is Wrong” that changed everything in my life.
      The question is, how can you do that? How can you flip that switch?
      And the answer is simple: Make the decision.
      Make the decision that Nothing is Wrong.
      Make the decision that you are going to start living your life from this belief and this perspective.
      And I’m going to give you an easy way to implement that decision It’s a process called Change your story, Change your life.
      If you stop thinking and talking about what you don’t want and start focusing and talking about what you do want, the energy shifts and amazing things can happen.
      This is actually one of the Nine Stepping Stones that I give you in The Journey to Happy and I’m giving you the one that you can start using immediately, and that can have the biggest impact right now. Stop talking about what’s wrong. Just stop. And don’t get involved in conversations with other people who are talking about things that are wrong, or that are not okay, or that you don’t like.
      If you do this for a few days and start to notice how much you do it, I think you will be humbled and embarrassed. And then you will start to notice how much other people talk about things that are wrong, but remember, Nothing is Wrong with other people thinking and talking about what’s wrong. It’s a free country, everybody gets to be just as miserable as they want to be. Everybody has a choice.
      And if other people notice that you’re not speaking negatively, don’t tell them what you’re doing. Most people are so attached to their unhappiness, they don’t want to see other people coming out of it, so just keep your new thoughts to yourself. The Bible says that after Jesus did one of his first miracles he told the disciples, “Go and tell no one,” because he knew their faith wasn’t strong enough yet to deal with all the negativity they would receive. Don’t set yourself up for someone overwhelming you with their objections to you getting happy.
      For now, this is your decision and your life – just keep on practicing.
      And if you’re feeling really adventurous, in addition to NOT talking about what’s wrong, you might start actively talking about things that you like or things that you appreciate. There is always something to appreciate, even if it’s just that you’re alive – and how fantastic is it that you’re alive?
      Do this one simple thing and notice how things start to shift as you flip that switch.
      We had a woman who came for a retreat a few years ago and she had had a really difficult life. Both of her parents were physically and emotionally abusive, her father was physically abusive and her mother was emotionally abusive. They had both passed away and she felt that she never really had a chance to confront them about what they did to her. She talked about it all the time. She referred to herself as a victim. When she came to Sedona she was still filled with hate (which was completely understandable), but it was eating her up inside and she knew it.
      We did a number of sessions with her that were designed to move out that old energy and then the most amazing thing happened. In her Inner Breath Journey, both of her parents came to her, one by one. They asked her forgiveness. She cried and cried. She told me, Debra it was definitely them.
      She was flooded with forgiveness and love, and after that, she didn’t even have the desire to talk about it anymore. She got home and she realized that she simply didn’t have this story anymore. She quit talking about it, not because she was stopping herself, but because she just didn’t want to talk about it anymore, it didn’t serve her, it just made her feel bad. She realized that with most of her friends, they were so happy for her and they loved that talking about this negative stuff wasn’t part of the baggage of their friendship anymore. But she had one friend who, after a few months, just vibrated out of her orbit because this person wanted to talk about negative stuff and wanted to talk about her own negative story, and without the stories and without them feeding off each other, they didn’t really have a friendship. She told me awhile ago that she didn’t really realize just how much energy she was losing over this and how Changing her story, stopping the story gave her her life back.
      I hope this helped, and if you got value from this video, please like it, share the video and subscribe to our channel.
      And If you want a more direct path to getting happy and staying happy – then go to SedonaRetreatGuide.com and get your complimentary copy of The Sedona Guide to Spiritual Retreats today.
      Or if you’d like to talk to someone about doing a retreat that’s custom designed for you call us at (928) 204-5988. You can have the life AND the relationship you want – I know it.

      How to do Ho’oponopono – incredible results!

      Have you ever heard of Ho’oponopono? It is the most incredible process that can yield almost unbelievable results in your life. Watch my short video and see how this simple forgiveness process can change absolutely everything around.
      Try this and if it works for you, let me know – I love hearing those stories!

      I hope this helped, and if you got value from this video, please like, share the video and subscribe to our channel.

      This is one of two videos where I’m talking to you about Learning How To Forgive. If you haven’t watched the other one on Radical Forgiveness, be sure to do that.
      One of the hardest things in life is learning how to deal with a situation when someone has hurt you. Especially if it’s someone who you love and care about,` and who you thought loved and cared about you. Like a parent, a spouse, or a friend.
      And it doesn’t even have to be from someone we care about. It happens all time in life, where we feel like we’ve been wronged or someone has done something to mistreat us – like getting into an argument with a neighbor or having a situation with another person that just seems to be something where you can’t get along with this person no matter what you do. And if it’s someone like a fellow employee or your employer, that can be really difficult. Having to be around someone who you constantly seem to have problems with is draining and makes life not fun.
      If that’s your situation, I want to tell you about Ho’oponopono. This is an ancient practice  developed by the kahunas, the spiritual teachers of Hawaii. It’s a very simple practice but it’s incredibly effective. This was popularized by Dr. Hew Len. Dr. Len grew up in Hawaii thinking that all this spiritual stuff was really weird and he didn’t believe it, but then some things happened in his life and he started studying Ho’oponopono.
      Ho’oponopono is very simple. When I tell you this, you’re going to think something like “Debra, that’s ridiculous, that can’t really work”, but just stick with me.
      The Concept of Ho’oponopono is all about consciousness and about taking total responsibility for everything that comes into your consciousness. So, for example, if you have a car accident and you tell me about it, now that it’s come into my conscious awareness it becomes my responsibility. “Now wait a minute, Debra”… I’m sure you’re thinking, “If one of my friends tells me about their car accident, how does that become my responsibility?” Well, it has to do with consciousness and energy, and clearing the energy of things that are not in the highest vibration.
      So again, it’s very simple, with Ho’oponopono, here’s the way it works. You think about the situation and you say either out loud or silently:
      I’m sorry
      Please forgive me
      I love you
      Thank you
      That’s it. You just do that over and over again and watch how things change. Dr. Len’s story is probably the most dramatic about this.
      After he began working with Ho’oponopono, he was asked by the State of Hawaii to work in the Hawaii State Prison for the Criminally Insane. This was a very violent place filled with people who were murderers and rapists, plus they had been found to be insane. Conditions there were terrible – inmates were constantly attacking the staff, employee turnover was constant, the energy was so bad that plants wouldn’t grow, and get a load of this, paint wouldn’t stay on the walls, they would paint the walls and it would peel off.
      They asked Dr. Len to join their staff and he said okay, but he wouldn’t see patients, he wouldn’t do rounds… he just sat in his office with the files of the people in the prison. He would read over what happened, all the murders, the rapes and he would take on full responsibility for everything that had happened. Then he would say:

      I’m sorry
      Please forgive me
      I love you
      Thank you
      Over and over.
      He did this for a few months and everything started to change in the prison, the energy started moving and there was a transformation that started to happen. First, the prisoners became less violent. The attacks on the staff stopped. The prisoners had all been heavily medicated before, they discovered they didn’t need as much medication or with some people, none at all. Plants started growing. The paint started staying on the walls.
      And incredibly within 4 years, the prison was closed down. Many of the prisoners were adjudicated as sane, stood trial and were imprisoned. But a huge majority were healed and released for time served. Within four years, the place was completely emptied of all the negative, horrible energy.
      And the only thing that was different was that Dr. Len was sitting in his office bringing this into his consciousness and saying:
      I’m sorry
      Please forgive me
      I love you
      Thank you
      Over and over.
      We teach this practice in our retreats and we’ve had incredible success with it. We had one woman come on a retreat because she said she was going to leave her husband because he simply would not help her. She had a demanding job, they had 2 kids, and he wouldn’t do anything at all to help her with running the house and taking care of the kids. That led to lots of anger and upset, nagging and disconnection, and finally she’d had it. And he was sick of the nagging and also ready to walk out the door.
      She said she wanted her retreat to focus on getting strong enough to leave. But when she was here, we uncovered that she really did love her husband and she didn’t want to split up her family. We did some clearing sessions with her and taught her Ho’oponopono, including all the underlying dynamics.
      She went home and just kept doing the Ho’oponopono with her husband. She said that 2 days after she got home he started doing the dishes. She hadn’t asked him, he just started doing it. Then he started helping with the cooking, cleaning, and child care. One day he just came in and said, “Is there anything I can do to help you?” and she just about fainted. She started crying and told him what had happened. He told her how much he loved her and that the last thing he wanted was a divorce. That was over a year ago and their marriage has completely turned around.
      We had another person come to us who had a fabulous job – she loved what she did, she made a lot of money and had a lot of freedom, but there was always something going on with her boss. Her boss was always criticizing and always doing things to cause her trouble. He couldn’t fire her, but he was making her life miserable. She came for a retreat and her focus was on “should I leave my job?” We did some other clearing with her and taught her Ho’oponopono. When she got back, her boss said to her, “We missed you”. Suddenly her boss wasn’t just being neutral with her, her boss was being kind and deferential. Six months later she got a huge promotion, largely based on the recommendation of the boss she’d had so much trouble with before she started doing Ho’oponopono.
      Try this for 28 days and see what happens. It works. Don’t tell anyone. Certainly don’t tell the person you’re having the trouble with. Just do it.
      Just think about the situation and say:
      I’m sorry
      Please forgive me
      I love you
      Thank you
      Over and over.
      And the amazing thing is, you don’t even have to actually feel sorry. I did a 5-day workshop with Dr. Len a few years ago and he told us, you don’t even have to feel like you’re sorry. The energy just moves from doing this. And it works with every kind of person and every kind of situation.
      Try it and send me an email to let me know what happened. I love getting stories like that.
      I hope this helped, and If you got value from this video, please like, share the video and subscribe to our channel.
      Forgiveness can be a really tricky and difficult thing to do. And if you find that you need some help, or you need to go deeper, connect with us.
      Go to  SedonaRetreatGuide.com  and get your complimentary copy of The Sedona Guide to Spiritual Retreats.
      And if you’d like to talk to someone about doing a retreat that’s custom designed for you call us at 928/204-5988.
      You can have the life or relationship you want – I know it.

      How To Get Everything You Want In 3 Simple Steps!

      We all try to make it so complicated — how to be happy, how to find peace, how to get what we want. The real answer is that it’s simple — it’s not easy, but it is very simple.
      I hope you love this — let me know.

      I hope this helped, and if you got value from this video, please like, share the video and subscribe to our channel.

      Today I’m going to tell you how to get everything you want! Wow! Can you believe it?
      I’m sure you’re thinking, Debra, why haven’t you told us this sooner?
      Well the truth is, I have, but today I’m just saying it flat out.
      The way to get everything you want is to:

      1. Get happy
      2. Stay happy

      And in order to get happy and stay happy…

      1. Don’t think about what you don’t want and don’t talk about what you don’t want

      Ok that’s it. You’re welcome. Class over.
      No, I’m kidding, but it really is that simple and I’m going to give you proof of that in just a second.
      In 2016 I wrote a book that became an International #1 Best Seller, called The Journey To Happy. I’m going to be talking to you in a number of videos about the ideas and processes that I talk about in my book.
      So let’s back up. I’ve told you that the way to get everything you want is to:  

      1. Get happy
      2. Stay happy

      And in order to get happy and stay happy…

      1. Don’t think about what you don’t want and don’t talk about what you don’t want

      Now let me talk about what I’m basing this on. One of the truths that Einstein discovered (and that Quantum Physics continues to prove) is that everything is energy. Even my desk, which feels so stable and strong, is – at its core – just a bunch of particles racing around.
      If everything is energy, (and now we know it is) that means that everything is much more elastic, much more malleable, and much more possible to change than we think it is.
      Through the years, quantum physics has proven, that we are energy, and they’ve proven that putting our attention on something in any way changes it.
      So, if everything is energy and if putting our attention on something in any way changes it, that means we are all creating our reality in every moment.
      What we focus on expands.
      We get more of whatever it is that we think about and talk about.
      That is great news! If you are creating your reality, that means that you can change the parts that you don’t like – the parts that aren’t making you happy.
      If you are willing to take responsibility for creating your reality, then you can take responsibility for creating it the way you want it.
      The final piece has to do with energy and vibration. Think of it this way. The things that you want – happiness, peace, joy, great relationships – all reside in the higher vibrational energies. Joy, peace and happiness are all much higher vibrations than depression, fear and blame. When you are a vibrational match to what you want, it comes to you. That’s what many people refer to as the Law of Attraction.
      So the way to get everything you want, is to get in the higher vibrations and stay there, and allow it all to come to you. In other words:

      1. Get happy
      2. Stay happy

      And in order to get happy and stay happy…

      1. Don’t think about what you don’t want and don’t talk about what you don’t want

      The fastest way to get happy and stay happy is to stop focusing on what you don’t want and start focusing on what you do want. Remember, what we focus on expands. This is simple, but it’s not easy. Stop talking about things you don’t like. As they say, change your story, change your life. Stay focused on what you want and let the magic happen, because when it starts happening it feels like magic.
      When I came to Sedona for the first time in 1999, my life was not the way I wanted it to be; every part was messed up. I hated my work as a divorce attorney, I was in an unhappy marriage, I was 40 pounds overweight, and I was $50,000 in debt.
      All I could think about was the mess I was in. I kept thinking about it obsessively all the time and it just kept getting worse and worse, and I kept getting more and more unhappy. I came to Sedona for what I thought was going to be 3 days of just being quiet, but instead, I did one session with a practitioner here, Ranjita, who is still one of our most wonderful practitioners.
      In that session, my high self appeared to me and told me I had to leave my law practice or I was going to die. I got the message and went home, and after 2 weeks of trying to figure out how I was possibly going to leave my law practice when I was $50,000 in debt, there was a day where I just gave up. I was meditating and praying, and I just felt all the worry and concern just lift off me. I remember saying, “ok God, I’m going to do this. I don’t know how I’m going to do this, but I’m going to do it, and I need some help.”
      Within about 8 hours, a former client called asking me some questions and at the end of the call told me he had just bought a new business refinancing mortgages. I asked him if he thought he could get my mortgage payment reduced. He took my address and called me back in 10 minutes and said “I can get your mortgage payment cut in half and I can get you $50,000 in cash.” Now, I had never told him I was $50,000 in debt. He certainly didn’t know about my going into that high vibrational state where I just released the worry and concern. But suddenly, within a few hours, the worry and concern that had haunted me for 5 years was gone.
      The trick is getting there and staying there. And over the course of these videos, I’ll be talking about lots of different ways to do that, but the key is all in these three simple steps:

      1. Get happy
      2. Stay happy

      And in order to get happy and stay happy…

      1. Don’t think about what you don’t want and don’t talk about what you don’t want

      We see this all the time with our retreats here in Sedona. Just a few months ago we had someone come to us who was just very dissatisfied with her life. She had a pretty good job, but there were things she didn’t like about it, there were things she didn’t like about her husband, her kids were grown and gone, and she just felt all this dissatisfaction.
      We uncovered that from her childhood, she had some worthiness issues, meaning she felt like she wasn’t worthy to be happy. We cleared out those blocks and once those were cleared, the most amazing thing happened. When she did her Breath journey session, she got it that she was focusing on the negative and not at all on the positive. With her practitioner guiding her, she did a complete turn around.
      She went home and started focusing on what she liked about her life, her job, her husband, her kids, and everything else in her life, and she discovered how truly blessed she was. She stopped talking about what she didn’t like and just kept talking about the things she liked, and it changed everything around. She wrote me a few weeks ago and said, “It’s the most incredible thing. Nothing on the outside has changed, but suddenly I love my life, every single part of it.”
      That’s what can happen when you make the decision to get happy and stay happy.
      I hope this helped, and if you got value from this video, please like, share the video and subscribe to our channel.
      If you need help with getting happy and staying happy then go to SedonaRetreatGuide.com and get your complimentary copy of The Sedona Guide to Spiritual Retreats.
      If you’d like to talk to someone about doing a retreat that’s custom designed for you call us at 928/204-5988.
      You can have the life or relationship you want. I know it.

      How To Stop Feeling Stuck

      One of the worst feelings in the world is feeling like you’re stuck — especially if you’re feeling that way about more than one area of your life. And have you noticed how it seems to happen like that? We don’t get stuck in just one place – once it happens, it seems to affect almost everything.
      I hope this video helps. Watch now:

      (Stay up to date on all of our videos…click here to subscribe to our YouTube channel.)

      Sometimes in life, things just seem to get stuck.
      Money
      Relationships
      Health
      Career
      Business
      And we normally find that when one area is stuck, there are other areas that are stuck or dragging slowly too – have you noticed that?
      If this is something you’ve been feeling, here are some possible reasons why…
      So many people feel just dragged down from life, the day to day of just getting through can sometimes just be overwhelming.
      You’re not living your life purpose and maybe you don’t know what it is – maybe you’re telling yourself you can’t have the life you want.
      Are any of these true for you?
      You see, when we look a little deeper, we uncover what’s really going on and then when you go deeper still, you see the compound affects showing up in many areas of your life.
      When I came to Sedona for the first time in 1999, I felt completely stuck.

      • I had just started my 20th year as a divorce attorney and I absolutely hated it
      • I was in an unhappy marriage
      • I was $50,000 in debt because of some poor business decisions that had been made
      • I weighed 40 or 50 more pounds than I weigh now

      I felt completely stuck in every part of my life. I came to Sedona for 3 days and  it completely changed my life… and 3 years later, I started Sedona Soul Adventures.
      So what can YOU do right now to begin to stop feeling stuck?

      1. Take some kind of action anything, moving your body, anything.
      2. Get an idea of what you want. Follow your excitement. Look at and choose one thing that you could do, starting today.
      3. Read some inspirational books and biographies of people who have inspired you.

      These are great places to start and as you work through these, you’ll begin to uncover other ways to help you find your way and get out of being stuck.
      If you got value from this video, please like, share the video and subscribe to our channel.
      If you want a more direct path to knowing and getting what you want – then go to SedonaRetreatGuide.com and request your complimentary copy of The Sedona Guide to Spiritual Retreats.
      Or, if you’d like to talk to someone about doing a retreat that’s custom designed for you, call us at (929) 204-5988.
      You can have the life or the relationship you want – I know it.

      How To Overcome A Lack of Self Love

      In today’s video, I’m talking with you about “How To Overcome A Lack of Self Love.” It’s so interesting to me, for almost all of the (almost) 9,000 people who have come to us over the years, lack of self love is at the root of almost everyone’s problems.
      One of my favorite parts of this video is the quote from the Buddha:
      “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire Universe, deserve your love and affection.”
      If you don’t totally believe that, please watch the video.
      I hope it helps.

      (Stay up to date on all of our videos…click here to subscribe to our YouTube channel.)

      One of the biggest challenges that so many people who come to us face, is lack of self-love. And I have to say it’s a challenge that I’ve really had to work with in my own life. It’s just so pervasive.
      If this is something you’ve been feeling, here are some possible reasons why and how it shows up…
      For most of us, something happened in our childhood. Someone we cared about, usually a parent, says something that we take on — you’re stupid, there’s something wrong with you, you’ll never amount to anything.
      You maybe have a Faulty core belief – deep inside, you believe you’re not okay, or that you’re not good enough, that usually leads to Negative self talk – when something happens do you find yourself saying things “I’m so stupid,” or “what’s wrong with me?”
      Are any of these true for you?
      You see, when we look a little deeper, we uncover what’s really going on and then when you go deeper still, you see the compound affects showing up in many areas of your life.
      If you think there’s something wrong with you, if you think you’re not good enough, or if you think you’re not enough, then it’s going to affect all the areas of your life, what I call the Fab Four:

      1. Relationships
      2. Work
      3. Money
      4. Health

      What are the ways you can see how this problem is affecting these areas of your life?

      • Relationships – If you think you’re not enough, you’re going to attract relationships where people don’t really love you or take care of your needs.
      • Work – If you think you’re not enough, you’re never going to be able to truly succeed.
      • Money – It’s hard, probably impossible, to bring in a lot of abundance if you think you’re not enough.
      • Health – And what I find is that people who think they’re not enough, typically don’t take very good care of themselves, and it seems to be at the root of many health issues.

      If you don’t love yourself, that’s going to sabotage every area of your life.
      We had a woman here a few months ago who had been placed for adoption when she was born – her mother was a drug user and she was taken away at birth. She had this very deep sense of, “what’s wrong with me that even my own mother didn’t want me?” And of course that wasn’t true, her mother knew she couldn’t care for her properly. But then she was adopted by two parents who were constantly upset with her that she wasn’t doing well enough in school, they criticized her constantly, all she ever heard was that she wasn’t good enough. She got married very young to get out of the house, married a man who mistreated her (because if you don’t love yourself, you can’t bring in someone who’s truly going to love you) and got divorced at a young age when the abuse got too bad. By the time she came to us, all the areas of her life were messed up — she was in another bad relationship, she hated her work, she hated her body.
      So what can YOU do to begin to start loving yourself just a little bit?
      Take yourself off the hook – look around, are you really that much worse than anyone else?
      Stop comparing yourself to everyone else, that’s a recipe for disaster.
      Start noticing your self talk and the way you talk to yourself. Think about it. You probably speak more kindly to your dog or your cat than you do to yourself.
      As the Buddha said, “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire Universe, deserve your love and affection.”
      Are you going to argue with Buddha?
      These are great places to start, and as you work through these, you’ll begin to uncover other ways to help you find your way and overcome the lack of self-love.
      If you got value from this video, please like, share the video and subscribe to our channel.
      If you want a more direct path to truly loving yourself – then go to SedonaRetreatGuide.com and request your complimentary copy of The Sedona Guide to Spiritual Retreats.
      Or if you’d like to talk to someone about doing a retreat that’s custom designed for you call us at (929) 204-5988.
      You can have the life or the relationship you want – I know it.

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