If Ever You Thought there was Something Wrong with You – Watch This
This is the most important video I’ve made for you during this past year…
Because this issue, the issue of thinking there is something wrong with you (even if you think it just a little bit) is at the core of any of the problems you might be having. I see this over and over again with all the people we work with.
I hope this helps…
From my experience, this issue is at the heart of everything that is going on with all of us. And if you need help with this, we’re here for you.
Give us a call and we’ll connect with you. Or both of you, for a couple — and believe me, the core issue at the heart of most relationship problems is that both of you are playing out your “I’m not good enough” issues with each other (even if you’re not able to see that yourself). We’ll find what’s causing the problem and we won’t sugarcoat it – we’ll blast through it with you. We’ll bring you into the self-love and self-acceptance that will change every part of your life.
Michelle says, “Change your life with a Soul Adventure”
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In this series of videos, I’m talking to you about concepts from my book, The Journey to Happy– How Embracing the Concept that Nothing is wrong can transform your life.
So far, I’ve given you about 20 videos now that are based on the book and I’ve waited until now to talk about what I consider to be THE MOST IMPORTANT concept, the one that is actually what I start off with in the book. And that is:
Nothing Is Wrong With You
From my own personal journey, but especially in my work here at Sedona Soul Adventures that I’ve been doing since 2002, I know that the most important concept, the one that can change everything in your life, is truly believing and embracing the idea that nothing is wrong with you. It’s at the core of everything that is causing problems in your life.
And I can already hear you out there reacting to this and saying things to yourself like, “Debra, what are you talking about? Of course there’s something wrong with me… I’m not happy, I’m not good enough, I’m not smart enough, I don’t make enough money…” and on and on – and yes, you can keep on going like that and arguing for all of your deficiencies… And that’s exactly what’s going to continue to keep you stuck.
I want to argue for the other side. Because on the other side is everything you want:
Your Dream Job
A Fantastic Relationship
A Healthy Body
And of course…
And yes, to many it does sound like far out woo woo and that’s why I’m joking about the puppies, kittens and unicorns. But you can ask psychiatrists, psychologists, or business people who have had huge success and they will all tell you a variation on the same theme:
If you don’t love yourself, that’s going to sabotage every area of your life.
As Henry Ford said, there are two kinds of people in the world – those who think they can and those who think they can’t – and they’re both right. He knew that it’s all about what you’re thinking and what you’re believing.
So why not make the decision to think something else about yourself? Why not make the decision that nothing is wrong with you and see what happens? What have you got to lose?
I was unhappy for most of my life. I grew up in a family where I was expected to perform, get good grades… it was all about achieving. Then when I was around 12, my father’s alcoholism really kicked in and then everything really went to hell. It felt like everything in my life was really wrong and not okay. I got married at 19 to try to escape that, which of course, never works. I became a divorce attorney and I hated all the fighting and upset. I constantly struggled with my weight because I hated my body and at one time weighed 40 pounds more than I weigh now.
My mother died when she was only 51. I was only in my twenties. Amazingly, there was one really incredible thing that came out of that – it started me on my Spiritual Path. I was so unhappy and distraught that I was looking for answers. I read a zillion books, I took classes, I went to workshops and seminars, I went into therapy, I had readings, I did sessions and it all helped a little bit, but nothing started to really change for me until I started coming to Sedona over 20 years ago.
Then I started working one-on-one with the amazing practitioners here and at one point, the most amazing thing happened…
My marriage was very unhappy, and one day my soon-to-be ex-husband and I got into an argument. Our arguments were always the same – no matter what he had done or not done, his position was that there was never any justification for my being angry with him. The problem was never the issue that I was angry about. The problem was my anger and me. There was something wrong with me.
I went home, alone. I began sobbing. Finally, I was sobbing so hard that I just climbed into bed.
All of a sudden, my body started vibrating. It was vibrating so much that I couldn’t move. And this is where the story gets a little weird, but hang in there with me. Then I heard a voice in my head, saying, “There is nothing wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with you.” The voice repeated those words over and over.
I started thinking, “I know I need to listen to this. This is something big. I need to pay attention to this.”
And then I was being shown how, in all areas of my life – my body, my work, money, even my anger – all the areas where I had struggled, that there is nothing wrong with me. It lasted about an hour. I got out of bed and EVERYTHING CHANGED.
I finally got it. I got it on all the levels: Physical, Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual. I knew I just had to drop my old belief that there was something wrong. I had to drop my resistance. I had to stop being so desperate about having everything be different.
And literally everything started to change for me.
Five weeks later, I suddenly discovered that I had released 40 pounds without dieting or exercising. I didn’t even realize it was happening. I talk more about that in my video “Nothing is Wrong With Your Body,” so check that one out. The point is that when I suddenly shifted how I was thinking about everything, I had an immediate result in what had been one of the most difficult areas of my life.
I’ve spoken with you before on other videos about why all this works. Quantum Physics has proven that Everything is Energy.
They’ve also proven that putting our attention on something in any way, changes it.
So, if everything is energy and if putting our attention on something in any way changes it, that means we are all creating our reality in every moment.
What we focus on expands.
We get more of whatever it is that we think about and talk about.
So if you believe that there’s something wrong with you, you’re going to attract people who think there’s something wrong with you… you’re going to attract a mate who will ultimately believe there is something wrong with you… it goes on and on. I see it all the time.
When you can make the shift, or as I call it, Flip the Switch into believing that nothing is wrong with you, everything can shift.
We had someone here just a few months ago and I have to say for almost everyone who comes to us, the underlying issue is almost always some version of, “I think there’s something wrong with me.” Even with people who originally tell us they don’t have that problem.
The questions are: Just how big is it? What triggered it in the first place? And how is it showing up? The answer to those questions is different for everyone, but the underlying problem is almost always a version of, “I think there’s something wrong with me.”
When this woman came to us, she had really been beaten down by life. She grew up with a mother who would actually talk about how she didn’t want to have children, so this woman felt completely unloved by her mother. Her father was a strict disciplinarian who expected his children to be high achievers, and she felt like she was always disappointing him.
Not surprisingly, she fell in love with a man who was very much like her father. She got pregnant (which he blamed on her), they got married and she always felt like he only married her because of the pregnancy, that he never really loved her. When she would express to him that she didn’t feel loved he would say to her, “I married you, didn’t I?” And he was constantly criticizing her.
So can you see how she had this belief that she was unloveable, that there must be something wrong with her because even her own mother and father didn’t love her, so then she attracted a man with that same vibration – a husband who she felt didn’t really love her.
She was a people pleaser, always doing things for others, trying to get love. She had a good job, but she was always doing too much and giving too much.
Within the same year, her husband left her and her mother died suddenly. This really put her in a tailspin and that’s when she came to us. She was broken and exhausted. She told us that her problem was that she was always doing too much for others and she needed to learn how to set boundaries. But we could tell it was much deeper than that.
In her first clearing sessions, she could see how her heart had been broken almost immediately after she was born, because her mother just wasn’t capable of loving her. We did some sessions to move out this heartbreak and to fill up the hole in her heart. And then the really amazing thing happened…
In her breath journey, she suddenly had a vision of her mother coming to her. She told me, “Debra, it felt so real, I really believe she came to me.” Her mother told her how much she loved her, she told her that she had her own unhealed wounds that made this lifetime so difficult and she was so sorry that she had wounded her.
Her mother told her over and over again, “I love you, my child. I love you, my child.” I mean, is that just so beautiful? She felt completely filled up with all this love and said that suddenly her mother sort of morphed into what she described as the Divine Mother. She wasn’t quite sure, she said it just felt heavenly, it felt like God. She felt like she was held and loved completely.
And that just shifted everything.
In her final transformational session, she saw how she has all that love within her. She has access to that Divine Love. She doesn’t have to depend on getting it from the outside – she has it all within herself.
She went back home and this has affected every area of her life. She went from not wanting the divorce, to being happy that she was now free to find someone who would really love her… and that actually happened within just a few months. She stopped being a doormat at work and actually ended up with a job offer from a very famous company that came out of the blue – she’s earning more money and she’s spending less time working than she did before, and that happened just a few weeks after she finished her retreat. Her relationship with her two children has become even better because she’s loving them on an even deeper level now.
When you believe nothing is wrong with you, the people around you feel that and start thinking that too. Let me say that again because it’s so important:
When you believe nothing is wrong with you, the people around you feel that and start thinking that too…
and they start behaving accordingly.
There are lots of things you can do to start believing that nothing is wrong with you. I invite you to check out my other videos and read my book. But it starts with this one basic decision: To decide that nothing is wrong with you.
As the Buddha said, “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire Universe, deserve your love and affection.”
Are you going to argue with Buddha?
I hope this helped, and if you got value from this video, please take the time to like it, share it with someone in your life who think might get something out of it, subscribe to our channel.
And If you want an even more direct path to having the relationship of your dreams, click here to get your complimentary copy of The Sedona Guide to Spiritual Retreats today.
Or if you’d like to talk to someone about doing a retreat that’s custom designed for you call us at (928) 204-5988.
You can have the life AND the relationship you want – I know it.
I was lucky enough back then to connect with Jorge Luis Delgado, our shaman and guide. Jorge is a master and as everyone in all my groups always say, they can’t imagine doing Peru without Jorge, that it quite simply wouldn’t be the same. That’s a photo of my fabulous 2008 group.
On my first trip in 2008, I met his wife and son, who at the time was 14, a gangly teenager, and he spoke great English. He and I started talking and sat next to each other on our bus ride from Lake Titicaca to Juliaca.
We started talking about American politics, as the 2008 election was in full swing, and Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton were slugging it out in the primaries. He asked me if I thought it was possible that Obama might be nominated and possibly win, and we had a very spirited and enjoyable conversation.
Jorge told me later, “It’s so strange, I’m not sure how this happened, he’s so interested in American politics and all kinds of things from other countries.”
Over the years, I’ve always asked Jorge how his son was doing and the news just kept getting more and more interesting. He did very well in school, went to University, then ended up living and working in Japan, spent some time in China, and learned to speak Japanese and Chinese fluently. Now this year, he decided to return to Peru and he’s working with Jorge!
He was working with a Chinese group and he came to the airport in Cusco when we were about to depart for Lake Titicaca, and we got to spend some time talking. What a joy to see and feel what an incredible young man he has become.
I asked him why he had returned to Peru and he told me, “I want to really learn all the spiritual teachings.” Isn’t that fantastic? This gangly little kid I met 11 years ago, has become a worldly, accomplished man interested in all aspects of the world, including spirituality. He said he plans to stay here for about two years and then he’ll be off to some other place in the world.
It’s reminiscent of my godson, Anthony, who I also got to see on this trip and what a joy that was. Back in 2008 when we went to Amantani for the first time (a very rustic, beautiful island in Lake Titicaca where at the time they had no electricity and no running water), we did a very special ceremony and we spent the night in the home of his family.
Anthony was 6 months old at the time, a tiny, adorable baby.
I spent a large amount of that evening holding him and at times I was crying gently and processing. His parents, Juana and Joaquin, don’t speak English, but in some way we really connected.
It turns out that two days later they were doing a ceremony with Anthony that is somewhat similar to what we know as baptism.
They asked Jorge to ask me if I would like to be a godmother for Anthony because they felt I had such a strong connection to him. They said they didn’t want any obligation from me, just the spiritual connection. I was honored and the ceremony was very beautiful.
After that, I would see Anthony every year and I’ve also happily contributed to the family and Anthony’s education. This photo is from 2014, when I brought him some blowing bubbles. At that time, Anthony was six and he told me he wanted to become a doctor. He also said he was learning traditional Peruvian dance and he enjoyed that very much.
Starting in 2015, Anthony started going to boarding school on the mainland so that he could receive a really good education, so he was never at home when we would spend the night at Juana and Joaquin’s home on Amantani. But this year, what a surprise. They brought him, along with his sister, to Chiquito where we had a reunion.
He showed me his school Certificate of Excellence and his parents told me what a good student he is. One of the members of our group interpreted (thank you, Rhonda!), and he told me again that he wants to be a doctor and how much he still enjoys dancing. But now he also really enjoys football (soccer).
To think that this boy from a small island, where they have almost no electricity or running water and when you take a walk you continually run into people who are herding sheep and donkeys, is going to become a doctor…this reminded me of Jorge’s son. Anthony’s energy is so sweet and pure, yet he is also a determined little boy and I can’t wait to see how this unfolds.
Another really fun thing we do every year is to go to Seminario Ceramics in Ollantaytambo. Pablo Seminario is one of the premier ceramic artists in the world, his works are displayed in various museums around the world, including the Field Museum in Chicago.
When I brought my first group in 2008, when we were returning from Machu Picchu by train after a very long day, Jorge asked me, “Would you like to go to the ceramics place?” Not having any idea of what an incredible place this was, I said no because everyone was tired.
One of the members of the group, Jennifer Watt, overheard us and said, “What are we talking about?” and I said, “That we’re not going to the ceramics place.” She said to me in her usual very direct way, “Who made that decision?” and I responded that I did. I then said if she wanted to go, we’d go and I am so glad I did. His work is so incredible and over the years, I’ve brought many of his pieces to my home and each year he speaks to our group and we have a wonderful interaction with him and his wife Marilu.
After that trip, Jen and I became great friends and in 2010, I asked her to lead my Peru trip two years in a row (I had Egypt in March, Peru in April and Bali in June, and it was becoming too much to handle), she loved Peru and she had experience leading groups. She did a fantastic job and from that, got a job leading trips to Peru, especially for high school and college students and teachers.
She has now been to Peru 54 times! And one of the things she has incorporated into the tours is an intensive piece of learning about traditional ceramics through Seminario! She, Pablo and Marilu have become great friends.
So when we were there last week, we took a photo of all of us to text to Jen saying, “Wish you were here.” Jen had just been in Sedona the week before visiting us at our home and we showed Pablo this photo of Jen and our friend Ranjita (who had been on the Peru trip with me in 2008 and again last year).
I told Pablo this is the view from our home, and he and Marilu should come and visit us in Sedona. He said, “If Jen will bring me, I will come to Sedona!”
So it’s so incredible to me, all these connections that started with this first trip and have woven their way through my life, and all these other lives, through the years. Not to mention the other close friends I have made through these trips, people who came on the trips, people I love who are a huge part of my life.
Because at the end of the day, all of this is not so much about the sites (although they are absolutely incredible), it’s about the amazing people we share them with and keep connecting with.
This year again, our group has bonded in such a beautiful, special way. One of the women said to me yesterday, “I can’t believe how I love everyone in this group and feel so close to them. Doing this with other like-minded people has just been so wonderful.