What Your Debt Says About You
Twenty years ago, like many other Americans, I was drowning in debt. And it was really crazy because I was an attorney making a good income, but I didn’t know what was REALLY causing the problem.
In this video and the next, I’m talking to you about what money problems mean and what you can start to do to turn that around. So if you don’t have all the abundance you’re looking for in your life, you may want to take a listen.
This week I talk about what I call the “Unfun” ways to start getting out of debt and next week I’ll be talking about the “Fun” (even magical!) ways that turned everything around for me. Stay tuned!
I want to be very careful about what I say to you about doing a Soul Adventure if you’re in debt. I don’t want to encourage you to be irresponsible, but as I talk about in the video, I was $50,000 in debt the first time I came to Sedona and look what happened! Sometimes you just have to hit the restart button.
Let’s explore this together:
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Today I’m talking to you about What Your Debt Says About You.
Let me ask you first off, does even that title make you flinch? If so, you’ve got a problem and you need to look at it.
So let me tell you some things that I have found in my own life and with working with people for over 40 years.
When we’re talking about money or debt or Abundance or however you want to frame it, here are my thoughts:
Money is a reflection of other things going on in your life.
Money problems reflect other problems
If you’re embarrassed to talk about money, then there’s usually a problem.
Are you a saver?
Are you a spender?
Both of those reflect two sides of the same coin.
So now I’m going to say the thing that will have you either continuing to listen or to pop off to something else, but before you pop off, this might be really important.
If you have debt that is beyond just your mortgage and your car, you are living your life unconsciously and you need to do something about it.
Now before you react, please understand, this is coming from someone who used to be in deep debt. I used to rob Peter to pay Paul, I was continually opening new credit card accounts and transferring balances at 0 percent interest and then moving it to another credit card a few months later. I’ve been here, I know what it feels like to wake up in the morning and to immediately start worrying about money – it’s one of the most horrible things in the world.
Also, please understand that I get how our modern society is completely set up for you to be in debt. Credit card companies are preying on kids who aren’t even working, the messages that you get all the time are, “Buy now, pay later,” that’s how our modern society has set you up.
So if you are someone who does not have debt beyond your mortgage or car, I want to really congratulate you. This means you are living your life consciously in this area of your life.
This is very interesting and something you should look at. If you find that you have other areas of your life that aren’t working as well, you might want to take a moment to get conscious about what you’re doing around money that’s working, and then extend that to this other area that’s not working so well.
For example, if your money situation is good, but you’re severely overweight, you may want to look at that. With money, you have self control, you are able to put off instant gratification. Are you able to do that with food? You may want to look at why it’s working for you in one area but not in another. What could you do to bring empowerment into that area? How can you make it work for you?
Let’s go back to what’s happening if you find yourself in debt, especially if you find yourself in a lot of debt.
Here’s The Good News: This is something that you have control over. This is not like something that you find out about that you have no control over, this is something that you can control. It might not feel like that right now, in fact it probably doesn’t feel like that right now, because when you’re drowning it feels horrible. But when I say you have control, I’m actually talking about two things…
And I’m going to talk about the “Unfun one” first and the really “Fun one” second, so stick with me.
Here’s the Unfun one:
You have control over the basic parts of this – how much you spend, how much you save and what you do with your money.
And don’t tell me, “Debra, I don’t have any control over how much I spend. I don’t have any extra money.” I’d be willing to bet that if I actually sat down with you and went over everything that you spend money on, that if you allowed me to be ruthless with your life, which is what I would be, I’d be able to find hundreds of dollars that you’re spending each month that you don’t absolutely need to spend.
How do I know that? Because I’ve done it lots and lots of times in working with people. I have been absolutely amazed and flabbergasted to talk to people and find out that they are tens of thousands of dollars in credit card debt and then I can see, even without asking, that they…
- Have a very expensive mobile phone
- Wear acrylic nails (which is expensive to maintain)
- And very often, they are holding a Starbucks cup of frappuccino or mochaccino that they drink twice a day
And as we start talking, I find out that they:
- Have a large cable bill and watch a lot of TV
- Are going out for a very large percentage of their meals
Why are they doing all these things?
Because our culture is telling us that you have to have a smart phone – no you don’t, you just need a phone where you can call and text people if you have an emergency and those phones and those plans are very inexpensive.
Our culture has somehow convinced that it’s normal to pay $5 for a cup of coffee.
There was a very wonderful commercial on TV a few years ago where 4 or 5 people, who are obviously living in the 1970s, are sitting around drinking coffee and they say, “Wow this coffee tastes so good. You know, we could open a special coffee shop and make our special coffee and charge people $5 a cup.” And then suddenly, everyone laughs and says, “That would never work, no one is ever going to pay $5 for a cup of coffee!”
Well, fast forward to today and guess what?
Now I’m not saying don’t go to Starbucks or other coffee shops. I’m saying don’t spend $5 on a cappuccino every day if you’re $50,000 in debt. You can make coffee at home for a few cents.
So let me ask you a few more un-fun questions:
How much are you spending on Cable?
How much are you spending on your phone?
Ladies, how much are you spending on your nails or hair?
How much are you spending on dining out?
This is probably the biggest one that you can look at, change and control. When I was growing up, and I don’t want to completely sound like an old person here, but I can literally remember all the times my family went out for dinner. It was that rare. And part of it was that we had six kids and we were all very rambunctious as my mother used to say, but my parents wouldn’t even consider taking us all out for dinner as a regular thing. We never even went to McDonald’s. And I mean never, not once. The few times we did go out, it was such an incredible treat, we even dressed up.
Now, many Americans report they go out for dinner 2-3 times per week. It’s gotten crazy from a money standpoint, but it’s also gotten crazy from a health standpoint, because it’s also contributing to the overweight and diabetes crisis that is happening in our country.
So Step 1: If you are in debt, look ruthlessly at your life and lower these amounts that you’re spending on your phone, your cable, dining out, and other unnecessary expenses, and start taking that money to start paying off your bills.
That’s the Unfun way to get out of debt – it’s important, it’s the stuff you need to do, but watch for my next video where I’m talking to you about the Fun Way to Get Out of Debt.
I hope this helped, and if you got value from this video, please take the time to like it, share it with someone in your life who think might get something out of it, subscribe to our channel.
And I still want to talk to you about doing a Soul Adventure retreat, because that can really change everything around for you. Of course, I don’t want you to be irresponsible, but the first time I came to Sedona I was $50,000 in debt and three weeks after I left Sedona $50,000 virtually dropped out of the sky and into my lap – I’ll tell you about that in my next video.
To get more information, go to SedonaRetreatGuide.com and get your complimentary copy of The Sedona Guide to Spiritual Retreats today.
Or if you’d like to talk to someone about doing a retreat that’s custom designed for you call us at (928) 204-5988.
You can have the life AND the relationship you want – I know it.