The Worst Christmas Ever
I had the worst Christmas of my life in 1978. Our whole family came home — my 4 brothers and sister — and our mother was dying. Mother was only 51 years old and I knew that we all had the thought that she was going to rally from her battle with cancer, as she had continued to do during the past 5 years. But when I got home from law school and saw her, I knew.
We all knew. And there was nothing we could do.
One of the worst parts about it, was that I was 26 years old and had no way of knowing how to communicate how I was feeling. None of us did. We didn’t know how to talk about how we were feeling. I knew we were all frightened, I knew we were all incredibly sad, but we simply didn’t have the tools to deal with any of that. The fact that mother was dying was the pink elephant in the room that nobody was acknowledging or talking about. As I look back, it was one of the most surreal and awful experiences of my life.
One month later, my mother died.
This week I’ve had many people talk about how difficult it is to be with their families, especially their mothers, during the holiday season. There is a part of me that wants to scream “at least you have a mother to have difficulty with!” I don’t do it, of course, but her loss influences my ideas about families and relationships. The bottom line for me is I believe that we have to do everything we can to maintain love and peace in these sacred relationships. So my message to you at this season is that if you have anyone in your life with whom you are estranged, please do something about it. Whether it’s a parent or a sibling or a child or someone who was once a good friend, don’t let this holiday season go by without taking some sort of step to shift the energy of the situation. Holding onto grudges, upset, maintaining that you were the one who was “right”, will get you nothing except more pain and disconnection.
In my own life, during this past year, I had the situation where a chance meeting led to my coming together with someone from whom I’d been estranged, where we both simply said, “I’m sorry”. We didn’t explain, we didn’t defend our positions, we just said “I’m sorry”, we hugged each other and there were tears. I can’t tell you what a burden that lifted off my shoulders.
I understand there may be situations where it’s not possible to actually contact the person, the situation may still be too volatile. Or the person may no longer be with us. You can still effect healing in these situations using a very simple practice called ho’oponopono. It is an ancient practice of forgiveness and reconciliation, and comes from the kahunas in Hawaii. It has come into Western consciousness again through the work of Dr. Hew Lynn.
Ho’oponopono is a very simple, but amazingly transformative, process. Here is what you do: Think about the person or the situation and say a few times:
I love you
I’m sorry
Please forgive me
Thank you
That’s it. You don’t even have to feel the things you are saying for this to work. As my dad would have said, that’s the good part about it. Simply thinking or saying these words can transform situations in incredible ways. I’ve seen it happen over and over again.
If you would like to read more about why this works, the thinking behind it, more about Dr. Lynn, etc., go ahead and Google it and you’ll find all kinds of information. What I’m talking to you about is the peace that comes from shifting around a situation of disharmony and angst. You know that the highest part of you wants to live in peace and harmony with everyone in your life. If there’s someone where that’s not happening, please take advantage of the special energies that are available to us during this holiday season and do something about it.
And keep on remembering that forgiveness isn’t about the other person. It’s about you. Your peace and harmony. It’s the best gift you can give yourself.
How to transform any situation with ho’oponopono
Ho’oponopono is an ancient practice of forgiveness and reconciliation, and comes from the kahunas in Hawaii. It has come into Western consciousness again through the work of Dr. Hew Lynn. Ho’oponopono is a very simple, but amazingly transformative, process. Here is what you do: Think about the person or the situation and say a few times:
I love you
I’m sorry
Please forgive me
Thank you
That’s it. You don’t even have to feel the things you are saying for this to work. As my dad would have said, that’s the good part about it. Simply thinking or saying these words can transform situations in incredible ways. I’ve seen it happen over and over again.
If you would like to read more about why this works, the philosophy behind it, more about Dr. Lynn, etc., go ahead and Google it and you’ll find all kinds of information. What I’m talking to you about is the peace that comes from shifting around a situation of disharmony and angst. You know that the highest part of you wants to live in peace and harmony with everyone in your life. If there’s someone with whom that’s not happening, please take advantage of the special energies that are available to us during this holiday season and do something about it.
And keep on remembering that forgiveness isn’t about the other person. It’s about you. Your peace and harmony. It’s the best gift you can give yourself.
Jamie found peace with her Soul Adventure
“I felt a deep, deep calling to go to Sedona. There was one particular thing that was weighing on me that I was hoping to heal and clear out. I was literally blown away by the level of healing that took place. It was all I could have asked for and then some. I had tried everything in the world I knew to have peace with this issue, but it just wasn’t happening. During my Retreat I was able to find a place for my experiences and feelings and resolve things on a soul level. The healing has been profound and lasting. Thank you!”
Jamie Cherland
Give yourself the best gift of all, the gift of loving and taking care of yourself. Come now to do a Sedona Soul Adventures retreat. Call us toll free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada) or click here to request a complimentary Angel Guide Session.
If you are outside the US and Canada call 001 928-204-5988 or click here and we’ll call you.
Wishing you a wonderful holiday and a week filled with love, joy, forgiveness and connection.
Many Blessings,
Debra Stangl, Founder
